Aussie Humor
What Happened to Medium This Week?
Oi, Did I Chuck a Wombat in the Works, or Is It Just a Glitch? Alright, mates, spill the beans.
Did I step on a snake or is Mr. Algo just having a kip? What’s the go?
G’day mates, hope you’re all doing ripper! I just thought I’d have a yarn about something that’s been cookin’ in my writing world.
Last month, I was chuffed with some top-notch results that got me all fired up to spin better yarns and give you good folks some inspo.
Up until four days ago, my stories were bringing in a solid three bucks a day, and I was as happy as a kangaroo in a field of eucalyptus. You know I am a bit of a dag.
Now, I’ve always been upfront about the fact that I’m not in it for the cashola on Medium. Me retirement funds are holding up their end of the bargain, paying me bills and all.
So, any extra dollars I pick up here are just a sweet bonus for buying pressies for me grandkids.
But, hold onto your Akubras, cobbers, ’cause there’s been a bit of a snag.
The cash flow’s taken a nosedive, and it’s got me scratching me head. I’m putting the same elbow grease into me stories, and me loyal readers are giving me the thumbs up.
Take, for instance, a yarn that got 9 responses and raked in $3.30 last week. Then there’s me yarn about me guts playing up, copping 18 responses, but only snaggin’ 63 cents.
Fair dinkum, does that mean more eyeballs and comments are worth less moolah?
Now, I’m not takin’ it personal, but I’m starting to wonder if there’s a glitch in the system.
Any of you legends out there noticed a sudden dip in your earnings over the past four days? Chuck us your thoughts — I’m all ears! Cheers!
Have a Captain Cook at this Beaut Table, Cooked Up with Me 9-Year-Old Tech Whiz Grandkid. You won’t need a PhD in Rocket Science to Spot the Nose Dive in Me Results. Give it a Gander, Mates!
Fair dinkum, folks! The thing that got me right in the kisser was that me first bloody beautiful poem only scored 64 cents.
Come on, Mr. Algo! I poured hours into crafting this masterpiece. It’s like a poem that could win a Nobel Prize, and it’s only wrangling 64 cents? Strike me pink!
Final Thoughts and Takeaways, Mates
Well, there you have it, the whole kit and kaboodle. Before we chuck a U-ey and head off, let’s wrap it up, Aussie-style. So, here are me final thoughts and ripper takeaways for you lot. Cheers, mate!
Me earnings took a bit of a bingle, but we’re all still standing.
Now, let’s chuck a U-turn and steer into some top-notch tips for all you scribes out there, Aussie-style to end my funny yarn!
Crikey Consistency
Just like your morning cuppa, consistency is key. Keep dishing out those yarns regularly, and you’ll have readers coming back faster than a kangaroo on Red Bull.
Engagement Games with G’day Feedback
Get your readers involved! Throw in a question or two, and watch the comments section light up like a New Year’s Eve firework. Engaged readers are happy readers.
Don’t be shy to ask for feedback, mates. Your readers are your cobbers, and their insights are worth their weight in gold. It’s like having a bunch of mates telling you where you went wrong in the footy game — priceless.
Finally, Money Isn’t Everything
Don’t be a galah chasing dollar signs. Enjoy the process, and the dollars will follow. Remember, we’re all just here for a good old chinwag.
So, throw on your Akubra, grab a cold one, and let’s keep this writing journey as entertaining as a game of backyard cricket. Cheers to you all mates!
Legends, just chucked this ripper of a story on our fave mag, SYNERGY.
A big shoutout to the hard yakka put in by the top-notch editors of this crackerjack mag.
Dr Mehmet Yildiz, Dr. Preeti Singh, Dr. Gabriella Korosi, Lanu Pitan, John Cunningham, Britni Pepper, Josh Balerite Acol, Brooklyn Muse (editor), Suzanne E., Poornima Verghese-Ram, Surekha Chandrasekhar, Aiden (Illumination Gaming), Elin Melaas, The Sturg, Indra Raj Pathak, Joanie Adams, Nuno Campos, Ntathu Allen (she/her), Nurma Komala-Hadi, Annie Wegner, Philip Writes, Satrio Jagad, Sobaan Saeed, tarun bhatt, You, Me and Happiness, Mike Broadly — Healthier Lifestyle, Kim Petersen, ILLUMINATION, and ILLUMINATION-Curators.
Some of these editors have profiles, so you can learn more about their backgrounds from the attached collection.
Keen to share your own tales?
Check out the guidelines at the attached link, and let’s keep our yarns rollin’ on this special mag!
If you’re a wordsmith at heart and got a soft spot for writing, have a gander at our brand-spankin’-new submission guidelines for our other ripper publications on Medium.com. Our clever editors put their thinking caps on to design them, giving you a voice like a kookaburra’s morning call. Check it out, folks!
Recently Updated Submission Guidelines
Publishing and Conduct Guidelines for the Lampshade of ILLUMINATION
Cheers for givin’ me ridiculously written yarn a squiz, mate! I reckon you might fancy me serious stories too. Have a Captain Cook at a few on this list. Cheers, legend!
About Yours Truly
I am a retired scientist in his mid-70s from Australia and a new writer on Medium, but I am not new to writing. As a giveback activity, I volunteered to be an editor for Illumination publications, supporting many writers recently joining Medium like me.
Join the Illuminating Tribe
If you want to write for these publications, you may send your Medium ID via this weblink. I will be happy to read, publish, and promote your stories.
Introduce Yourself
You may need to create a BIO if you are a new writer. As an altruistic activity, my good editor friend Aiden compiles these writer bios and promotes them. You can learn from this story. Meet ILLUMINATION Writers from Their Personally Penned Biographies
Connect with Me
So, you may connect with me on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Quora, where I share stories I read. If you want to get my stories in your inbox when I post, you may subscribe to my account. I don’t spam anyone and don’t want anyone to do it to me.
P.S. Just dropped a post update on this story, and guess what? My good Aussie mate Aiden (Illumination Gaming), who’s not just a pretty face, fired off an open letter my way. reckon you’re gonna love it, so I’ve chucked it up here for ya. Cheers!
Upon request from Joe Luca, I insert this short glossary of Aussie Slangs here so that you might learn a bit about our unusual style.
