12 Types of Dirty Talk

Find your style — blow her mind

Dirty talk is something almost everyone loves but few people actually get to experience.

And even fewer people get it the way they want.

There are times when it makes sense to fuck quietly. If you’re doing it somewhere semi-public and want to avoid getting caught, it’s fine to stay hushed and try to stifle your excited giggling. And I don’t tend to find myself in these situations now that I’m in my thirties, but it’s just polite to make as little noise as possible when you’re fooling around under a blanket while your friends are sleeping in the next room.

In most cases, though, silent sex is kind of awkward. I find it makes me feel less connected to my partner and makes him seem less present.

That’s why dirty talk is so important to me. Hearing it makes me feel more desired. Saying it makes me feel more enthusiastic. It helps me be in the moment and fully enjoy myself.

But a lot of people are intimidated by it because it involves some vulnerability.

Every guy wants to find the words that will turn his partner on even more. But a lot of them worry they’ll say something stupid or that they’re going to sound silly when they’re trying to be sexy.

They’re so worried they’ll mess it up that they don’t even bother trying.

If that’s holding you back, you should know that there are only three ways you can screw up your dirty talk.

First, your delivery can be too timid.

Effective dirty talk needs to be delivered with confidence. Even if you’re sexually submissive, you still have to play that role like you mean it. And that means delivering all your filthy phrases clearly and without reluctance.

The best way to do that is to start small. Pick one simple thing you’re going to say during sex and rehearse it ahead of time so it comes out sounding just as hot as it does in your mind.

You can also mess up by dishing out too much dirty talk.

I live for dirty talk. I often turn off porn videos because the performers aren’t verbal enough.

But sometimes, it’s laid on a little thick.

There should be some pauses. You should be giving your partner time to collect her thoughts and take in the things you’ve just said. I find it harder to let the dirty talk sink in and turn me on when it’s coming non-stop.

There’s no hard and fast rule here. You’ll find your sweet spot by gauging your partner’s reaction and asking her to let you know when you’ve gone a little overboard.

The third problem is that not everyone means the same thing when they say they want dirty talk.

When couples experiment with dirty talk and it goes poorly, it’s often because of this. It’s also the reason some women don’t ask their partners to be more verbal during sex even though they secretly fantasize about it.

Depending on what your lady’s into, using the wrong kind of dirty talk can rub her the wrong way or completely turn her off.

Knowing what she wants to hear is going to take a bit of experimentation and a lot of communication. But once you get it just right, you’ll make yourself so much more attractive and arousing.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are twelve different types of dirty talk to help you find your style and drive her wild.

Instruction

Giving instructions during sex doesn’t just make your partner feel desired — it lets them know you desire them in a very specific way.

When you say “Bend over so I can see your ass” or “Turn around let me fuck you,” it shows that you’re not indifferent or just going through the motions. There are things you really want to do to her — and things you really want her to do to you.

And I love the way it makes you feel like you’re playing together instead of just giving and taking.

Saying “stroke it faster,” “keep using your tongue,” or “just like that — don’t stop” are ways for you to be an active participant, even when you’re the one on the receiving end of all the action.

Description

Descriptive dirty talk is basically putting your enthusiasm into words. It’s saying all the things you love about the moment out loud.

That’s the kind of dirty talk you do when you say things like “I love the way your tits bounce when I fuck you,” “Your pussy is so wet,” or “I’m going to rub your clit until you come.”

It shows your partner exactly what you appreciate about her body and what she does with it. It also lets her know that you’re giving her pleasure because you love making her feel good, not because you’re hoping she reciprocates.

Degradation

Degrading dirty talk can be hot because it makes your girl feel very dirty — in a good way.

If your lady is especially submissive, it can also enhance all the good feelings she gets from giving herself over to you.

This is the hardcore stuff that she would never want to hear in any other context. Things like “You love that, don’t you, you fucking slut?” and “You’re so pathetic — I’m not going to fuck you unless you beg for it.”

It’s also the kind of dirty talk that can cause the most problems. Some guys default to calling their gal a dirty whore when dirty talking, but it can be a massive turn-off for a lot of women. It can even be emotionally triggering.

That doesn’t mean you should necessarily avoid it — for some women, it’s the only kind of dirty talk that really gets them off.

But it does mean you need to discuss it first. Get her explicit consent before insulting her and demeaning her — even if you’re doing it from a place of love and appreciation.

Praise

Everyone loves compliments, and it’s the same during sex.

“Your ass looks incredible” is exactly what she wants to hear when she’s bending over for you.

She’ll also probably appreciate you saying “You’re so good at sucking cock” when she’s taking as many of your inches as she can in her mouth.

It just feels good. It makes her feel appreciated and attractive.

It also reassures her. And that kind of reassurance will help her be as dirty as she wants to be.

She might worry about how she looks when her legs are spread as wide as they can go. She might feel awkward when she’s face down, ass up. Telling her how hot she looks will help her get out of her head so she can pose and fuck in whatever position she wants to try.

Telling her she drives you crazy when she says something filthy is going to make her feel less self-conscious about talking dirty.

And letting her know how good she is when she’s doing other things with her mouth might just encourage her to go down on you more often.

Fantasy Roleplay

Playing out the right scenario can be extremely hot. It can sound silly when you think about it in the abstract, but taking on a different role or imagining yourself in a scenario that hits your kinks can be really arousing and make sex more pleasurable.

I personally love getting lost in fantasies when I’m fucking. It even helps me come when I can’t quite get there — and helps me come even harder when I do reach my climax.

Most of those fantasies quietly take place in my mind. But I wish I had some acting ability so I could improve the right kind of dialogue during sex.

Fantasy roleplay is especially appealing for the fantasies I have that could never actually come true (or that I wouldn’t want coming true). They involve losing my virginity (a bit too late for that one), being a babysitter who gets punished for doing something bad (I hate being trouble in real life, but love jilling off to it), or having a slightly different personality (bratty, innocent, sweetly curious).

Chances are your partner has impossible fantasies too, and acting out the scenario with her could be the closest she gets to actually experiencing them.

You don’t need an elaborate scenario. You don’t need a long, drawn-out script. You don’t need to wear costumes (doesn’t hurt if you do, though). All you really need is a brief dirty exchange that takes place in character.

Sexting and Phone Sex

Dirty talk is a whole different game when there’s no physical contact and no visuals to draw on.

When all you have are your words, it can be difficult to figure out exactly what to say. Praising her for how incredible her ass looks won’t sound sincere when you can’t actually see it. And description is tough when you can’t touch her body or see what’s happening on her end.

I find the best way to do dirty talk at a distance is to describe what I’d be doing to the person I’m texting if I was with them. While doing that, I throw in some descriptions of what I’m doing to myself and ask them what they’re doing to themselves.

So tell her that you wish you could slide her panties down and slowly lick her pussy. Tell her you would bend her over the bed and spank her. Say how good it would feel to slide your cock into her wet pussy.

But also tell her how hard you’re getting. Describe the way you’re stroking yourself. Tell her how good it feels to jerk yourself off while hearing her moans.

Ask her to touch herself for you. Ask her how it feels to be stroking her clit. Tell her to finger herself and imagine it’s your clock going inside her.

If you can pull that off, she’s going to make herself come hard and it won’t be long before she hits you up for another dirty exchange.

Whispers

This type of dirty talk isn’t really about the things you say. It’s more about your delivery.

There’s just something about hearing dirty words whispered right next to your ear that makes it even more arousing. It’s incredibly intimate and can give her slight shivers of anticipation.

It’s also the only kind of dirty talk you can do when you’re flirting in public, which makes it perfect for date nights. Wrap your arms around her waist, kiss her neck, whisper something you’d like to do to her when you get home, and watch her melt.

Whispering “I want you so badly right now” or “You look so fuckable tonight, I can barely hold myself back” is enough to send her mind to a very dirty place and get her thinking of all the things that will happen when you finally have some privacy.

Getting Dirty in Another Language

I met, fell in love with, and married a French Canadian boy. His native tongue doesn’t change much about our lives. He’s more comfortable speaking English and it’s the only language we use regularly at home.

But every once in a while, he’ll say something in French and it will make my heart beat faster.

I don’t really understand this one. All I know is that hearing someone speak a different language is really fucking hot. Even more so when you just know the words are dirty, even if you have no idea what they mean.

If you know a second language, don’t hesitate to drop a few lines when you’re fooling around or getting down.

If she doesn’t know the language, it barely matters what you say. It’s all about delivering it with the right tone and letting her imagination run wild.

And if it’s her second or third language, the words make a difference but it’s still effective. I can speak French and it still turns me on when I hear it.

Storytelling

If you’ve been with your partner long enough, chances are you’ve got some shared memories in your spank bank.

Pick out one of your favorite moments with her and tell it back to her. Leave all your favorite details in. Tell her exactly what made that time so special.

Remind her of the time you fucked in public. Tell her how cute it was that she was so nervous, and how it turned you on to see her lose all those inhibitions when you started touching her.

Tell her about the best blowjob she’s ever given you and what made it so incredible.

Go over some of the hot vacation sex you had and why you can’t stop replaying those nights in your head.

Or make something up completely.

If you’ve got a shared sexual fantasy, make it come to life by running through the scenario for her.

If you’re both turned on by the idea of a threesome, tell her exactly how it would go and what you would love about it. Tell her that you fantasize about seeing her spreading a hot woman’s legs open and making her come with her tongue. Paint a picture of what it would be like for her to have another guy’s cock in her mouth while you’re fucking her from behind.

Or dream up some location for you two to have sex in. Describe what it would be like to find a private car on a train and fuck while the world passed by. Tell her that you’d love to take her on a hike and describe what it would be like to fuck her against a tree.

The more details you can add, the better. That way, she can really picture it and get lost in the fantasy you’re creating. As long as it’s your words turning her on, that’s all that really matters.

Commands

This type of dirty talk is kind of like giving instructions but with a dominant edge. If she loves to let go and have you take charge, this is the way to go.

I honestly admire dommy types because of the amount of mental energy it takes to lead during sex. I don’t think I’d have it in me to make so many decisions and keep the action interesting and creative.

Being commanding means you’re taking responsibility for all that work. All she has to do is give over control and do whatever it is you say.

Even if she isn’t the super submissive type, she might love how confident you seem when you say “Get on your knees,” “Undress for me,” “Spread your legs and show me your pussy,” or “Suck my cock — take it deep.”

Like degradation, you should get consent before using commanding dirty talk. It creates a power exchange, which can be a really arousing dynamic for some women but can be completely uncomfortable for others.

Begging, Whining, and Pleading

This is me at my most uninhibited. When I get incredibly horny, I start whining things like “Please fuck me,” “Eat my pussy please,” and if my arousal is way off the charts I’ll even say “Fuck me now, daddy.”

Begging and pleading is an extremely submissive form of dirty talk. And if you’re on the subby side of a relationship that has some power play, or you’re enough of a switch, this is the kind of dirty talk your partner probably wants to hear the most.

If this is your dynamic, doing this will help you lean right into it. Beg, whine, and plead like you need to earn every little bit of pleasure — because when your partner’s in charge, you do.

Playful Humiliation

This is degradation’s lighthearted (step)cousin.

It’s also my favorite kind of dirty talk.

I don’t know what it is about it. It’s praise and humiliation rolled into one package. It’s dommy while still being playful. And it’s so fucking arousing.

It’s basically a kind of sexual teasing — the kind you deliver with a smirk or a grin.

It’s partly the tone that makes it and partly the words. The tone is just a tad condescending while also being appreciative. The words are things like “Wow, you’re already so wet” or “You can’t hold yourself back, can you?” or “God, you’re practically shaking — you’re so horny you can barely control yourself.”

It’s the perfect dirty talk for anyone who likes to feel submissive but doesn’t enjoy pain or degradation.

If that’s your girl, talk to her this way during foreplay and watch her become more eager and enthusiastic than ever before.

Turn Up the Heat

Finding the right style of dirty talk will really help you turn up the heat.

It has to be a type that you’re comfortable using and that your lady loves to hear. When you land on the right words, your sex life is going to get so much better.

But the most important step you can take is to do any kind of dirty talking at all. Just saying something during sex is going to turn her on more than being completely quiet.

So, do a little experimenting. Try a few things. Figure out what kind of dirty talk really gets her going. And if all else fails, just whisper something sweet in her ear and watch her melt.

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