11 Things Women Want Men to Do More in Bed

This is the kind of sex she craves

One of the things I love about sex is how genuinely different everyone’s desires are.

What turns us on and gets us off are influenced by so many different things that it’s practically impossible to say anything universal about sex.

For whatever reason, I’m into sexual submission and I love fantasizing that I’m innocent and naïve. But some women prefer taking on the kind of dominant attitude I can’t even come close to pulling off.

Some women can’t enjoy sex unless it’s rough and aggressive. Others need it to be sensual and erotic. And lots of us can go either way and like mixing it up.

There are kinks and fetishes as far as the eye can see. I feel like every week, I discover some new kind of sex that I would’ve never been able to dream up on my own.

And all of that is fucking beautiful. I love that not everyone has sex the way I do or gets aroused by the same things that make me feel flustered.

But it’s hard to deny that there are some definite trends.

There are some things that most women want from sex. There are also a few things that most of them complain they’re not getting — or not getting enough.

These are the things that would turn them on, make sex feel more intense and connected, and help them feel truly sexy.

If you want to give her a better fuck, start by doing these things. And if you already do, consider doing them more.

Be Vocal

A lot of men want to act manly during sex, which is great. Lots of women find that really hot.

The problem is that a lot of men think being manly means being quiet.

They want to be stoic, collected, in charge. And they think that also means being silent.

That’s a shame because I haven’t met a single woman yet who doesn’t find it highly arousing when a guy is vocal during sex.

Guys aren’t the only one who get turned on by hearing their partners moan. Women want to hear it too.

All the groans and grunts that come out during sex make it seem like you’re enjoying yourself more. It feels like you’re fully present and losing yourself in the moment. It makes you come across as even more enthusiastic.

It’s also going to make her feel a lot sexier.

She doesn’t just want to fuck — she wants to be a good fuck. But when you’re banging her quietly, she’ll probably wonder if you’re enjoying it as much as she is. And when you stay silent during a blowjob, she might worry that her cocksucking skills aren’t as good as she hopes they are.

If you let yourself moan and groan, though, she’ll be able to tell when she’s doing a good job and she’ll know her pussy feels amazing.

So, don’t be reserved. Just let go and enjoy yourself. It will help her have a really good time, too.

Praise and Compliment Her

Compliments are important for any kind of relationship, but for some reason people tend not to give many of them during sex.

But that’s when they’re the hottest.

There’s a reason porn clips are full of women cooing about what a nice cock her guy has and moaning about how good it feels to get stretched out by it.

But we don’t always have a chance to hear the guys give the same kind of praise. Guys aren’t just keeping the moans under wraps — a lot of them are keeping the compliments to themselves too.

You can do your part to fix that.

Take your tongue off her just long enough to tell her how good her pussy tastes.

Pull her panties down, bend her over, and tell her how incredible her ass looks.

Tell her what an amazing job she’s doing while she’s fucking you.

When you’re full-on thrusting, tell her it feels incredible to be inside her.

I know some guys think it’s pointless. If you’ve already told her she’s hot, that she gives head like a pro, and that you love eating her pussy, do you really have to say it again?

Yeah, you do. Over and over. Compliments never get old, but not hearing them anymore gets old real fast.

Praise her plenty — her body, her skills, how fucking cute she is, how good fucking her feels. It’s going to make her feel appreciated. It’s going to boost her confidence and help her set her inhibitions and insecurities aside. And it’s going to make her extra horny.

Show Physical Passion

I’ve been in a threesome that has a permanent place in my spank bank. Not the whole threesome. Not even most of it. It was one specific moment that stands out.

I was blindfolded with a guy’s face between my legs. Having him eat me out was incredible enough. But then he reached up, grabbed my sides, and squeezed them while his tongue kept working me.

It was an amazing moment. There was so much passion conveyed in that squeeze. He wasn’t just eating me out, he wasn’t just giving me pleasure — he made me feel wanted.

That’s something that was missing from a lot of the sex I’ve had. Guys would want to fuck me, but they rarely did it in a way that made me feel desired.

That had a lot to do with their hands.

A lot of women want sex that feels passionate. But guys tend to think that means hard sex — jackhammering, thrusting fast, bending her over and giving her a real pounding.

Which is great, honestly. I love being fucked hard and fast, and my love of doggystyle has a lot to do with how intense it is.

But even though it’s intense, it doesn’t feel passionate unless my partner’s hands are involved.

Touching, stroking, grabbing, and squeezing your lady is a big part of what makes her feel desired. It shows her that you don’t just want sex — you want her specifically.

So grab her hips and squeeze her ass, touch her shoulder while she’s blowing you, put your hands on her while you’re pounding away. It’s going to make a huge difference for her.

Tell Her What You Want

My husband is a giver in bed. He was always tuned in to what I wanted and doing all the right moves to get me off.

When I met him, I felt like I had hit the multi-orgasmic jackpot.

But after a while, I started feeling like there was something missing.

He’d give me pleasure, make me come, and try to figure out what I wanted. But I couldn’t tell what he wanted.

Did he want my tits in his face? Did he always prefer blowjobs or did he want handjobs once in a while? Did he want me to do anything to his balls or did he not give a damn?

Did he prefer me bent over or on my back? He seemed to love me riding him last time, but does he want it again this time? Does he want my shirt off or does he not care one way or the other?

I had no idea because he wasn’t giving me enough indication of what he wanted.

Your lady wants to know what turns you on, what makes you feel good, what your preferences are, and how you want her in the moment. Make sure you’re letting her know.

Let her know what your preferences are, because it’s not always obvious. People love to say that guys are simple and their sexual desires are even simpler. But anyone who has fucked enough of them knows that’s just not true. They all have different things that rev them up, different ways they love their cocks stimulated, and different things they love to see a girl do or hear her say.

So, when she does something that drives you crazy, tell her that it does.

Share your fantasies and kinks with her. Let her know what really fires you up.

Don’t be afraid to give her some feedback or even a few instructions during sex. If you want her to spit on your cock or get some lube so it feels better when she strokes it, say so. If you want her to suck you gently and slowly instead of going hard, tell her that’s how you want it. And if you want her to turn around so you can get a good look at her gorgeous ass, make that known.

Feeling sexy and knowing she’s getting you off in a way that you’re really into is part of what makes sex fun for her. So, give her the feedback she needs to make it happen.

Ask Her What She Wants

This is seriously one of the best things you can do in bed.

Everyone makes assumptions about what their partner wants, and some of them are flat out wrong. Asking her means you can get it right and give her more of what she wants.

Ask her how she likes her pussy rubbed. Does she want you to go soft and fast? Does she want you to go slow but apply lots of pressure? Does she want you to start gently but go hard when she’s close to coming?

Check in with her and ask if what you’re doing feels good and if she wants more of it.

Ask her if she wants you to grab a sex toy or two and use them on her.

It’s even better if you start asking when you’re not having sex. See if she has any fantasies she wants to share with you or any kinks she wants to try.

She might secretly wish you would roleplay with her. Maybe she has a specific scenario in mind and really wants you to wear a suit and seduce the pants off her while she pretends she’s your favorite employee.

Or maybe she’s always wanted to try using a buttplug during sex or try some wax play.

You might find out that she wants more sensual massages or that she wants you to tie her wrists to the bed frame. If she’s like me, you’ll learn that she wants both.

But you won’t know how to give her the kind of sex she fantasizes about unless you ask.

Tell Her When You’re Going to Come

Most women want to know when their partner is about to come.

Partly, that’s for practical reasons. She might want you to come somewhere specific — her tits, her ass, inside her, whatever she’s in the mood for. But she can’t ask you for it if your finish catches her off guard.

But it’s also because your orgasm is really fucking hot and she wants to really appreciate it.

Hearing a guy say he’s going to come is really arousing. And when you say those words, she gets to pay more attention to your climax.

She can zero in on the way your breathing changes. If she’s stroking you off, she can watch your cock so she can catch the exact moment when your come shoots out of it. If you’re fucking her, she can focus in on the way your cock twitches when you’re finishing inside her.

If she’s giving you head and wants you to come in her mouth, she still wants to know when it’s going to happen.

And in general, it helps her take a little more active role in making you come. She can ride you a little harder when she knows you’re almost finished. She can keep the stroking steady or do her favorite finishing move with her tongue. She can whisper dirty words of encouragement to help you get there.

Anticipating it is so much hotter than being caught off guard by it. Don’t worry about spoiling the surprise — tell her when you’re on the verge and let her enjoy it along with you.

Show Some Restraint

Too many guys hold back and act chill and stoic when it comes to being vocal and verbal in bed. But not enough guys take that attitude toward the rest of sex.

When women get bored of fucking their partners, it’s often because the guy they’re with rushes too much. Either he acts like sex is just about getting to the orgasm and nothing else, or he only cares about the part where he gets his dick wet.

When she’s still horny and eager to bang years into the relationship, it’s not just about her sex drive. It’s often because she’s with a guy who knows how to take his time.

That’s the kind of restraint most women want a guy to show during sex. It’s not acting checked out or detached — it’s taking the time to seduce her. It’s enjoying the foreplay instead of pushing past it.

It’s putting in the work to tease and turn her on so she’s eager to pleasure you instead of pressuring her to do it or just assuming she will.

It’s knowing how to make moves to escalate the action. It’s knowing that you also have to de-escalate to create tension and make her feel breathlessly horny.

Showing that kind of restraint in the bedroom is going to turn her on and help her come, but it’s a lot more than that. It’s also going to make her feel desired, wanted, and taken care of instead of feeling used or like she’s just a convenient fuck.

Play With Her Hair

Playing with a girl’s hair is a really good move and most women wish guys would do it a lot more. It’s sweet and sexy at the same time. It feels caring and loving but in a way that’s still exciting.

Play with her hair when you’re still putting the moves on her and trying to get her in the mood.

Stroke it and hold it away from her face when she’s going down on you.

Grip a handful of it when you’re fucking her.

If you’re grabbing the hair near her scalp, you can also give it a gentle tug. As long as you don’t do it too hard, it can be very stimulating.

Avoid full-on hair pulling, though. It can be painful and most women aren’t actually into it. When you see it in porn, it’s mostly performative — the women on screen are holding their heads back to make it look like their hair is being pulled when it’s usually just held in place.

If she specifically tells you that she wants her hair pulled and she wants it pulled hard, read up on it to make sure you can do it safely.

But most women will only want you to grab a good handful.

Eat Her Out With Gusto

I’ve seen a lot of people try to talk men into eating pussy, and they’ll often frame it as if it’s a transaction. You want her to suck your dick. She’s more likely to suck your dick if you eat her out. So, get down there and lick her pussy so you can get yours after.

I’m sure some women settle for that, but it’s not what most of us want.

I don’t find it satisfying to get a few courtesy licks. It doesn’t turn me on to have someone go down on me because they feel like they should or because they’re hoping to get something out of it.

I want to feel some enthusiasm between my legs. I want my partner to eat my pussy like they mean it.

Really good oral sex is about more than just getting a tongue on your sensitive bits. It’s an intimate and vulnerable act. It feels hot to have someone be so into you that they want to pleasure you with every part of their body.

Women don’t just want oral sex — they want oral sex done with gusto. Your lady wants to feel like you’re really into eating her pussy.

If you really love going down on her, make that obvious. Eat her out without her having to ask for it. Lick her pussy even if she has no intention of blowing you that night. Do it for longer than a couple of minutes — do it so long that she’s the one who stops you.

When you’re between her thighs, put your heart into it so she knows you’re not just doing it as a favor to her.

Stay Tuned Into Her After Sex

Even really good sex can be spoiled by bad aftercare.

Your aftercare doesn’t have to be anything big. Usually, it’s more than enough to just hold her, talk for a while, spend a bit of time together in your post-fuck haze.

But lots of women feel they’re getting cheated out of this. When the sex is over, it’s completely over. The guy she’s with catches his breath and then immediately grabs his phone to scroll through his notifications. Or he goes to sleep soon after he comes. Or he just thanks her for the good times and leaves the room to go do whatever the fuck else.

And that really sucks because sex and orgasms involve a lot of big hormonal shifts. Coming down after sex might leave her feeling anxious or sad if you’re not giving her enough aftercare to compensate for those bad feelings.

Plus, it can be jarring. Sex can feel incredibly intimate, which is why she might feel disconnected from you if you leave or check out soon after.

Having an aftercare plan in place is great, especially if you’re practicing BDSM or engaging in rough sex. But at the very least, you should be present with her after the sex is over.

Pay More Attention to Her Clit

Clit stimulation is essential for a lot of women to get off. Even if your lady can orgasm from penetration, she’ll probably have a much, much better time if you show her clit some love too.

I read about a lot of people who treat clit stimulation as a warm-up. They recommend going down on your gal before fucking her so she’s more likely to come when you fuck her — or at least gets to climax before the penetration starts.

But why stop there?

Rub her clit while you’re fucking her. Pull your cock out of her so you can eat her out and then fuck her some more. Fuck her until you come and then rub her pussy until she’s thoroughly and completely satisfied.

Once in a while, treat her to a night where you don’t fuck her at all and it’s just about pleasuring her pussy.

Most women feel their clit doesn’t get enough attention, even if they can count on receiving some manual or oral sex. So, give her lots more of it and you’ll have an extremely satisfied lady on your hands.

Give Her What She Really Wants

She doesn’t just want to have sex with you.

She wants to feel attracted to you. She wants to desire you. She wants to feel like you’re drawing her in. She wants to have trouble resisting you.

She also wants to really know that you want her, not just that you want to fuck. She wants you to show that you’re into her, that her body turns you on, and that fucking her feels amazing.

And she wants lots and lots of pleasure. She wants you to touch her in a way that feels passionate and intimate. She wants you to pleasure her clit like you’re trying to beat an orgasmic high score. She wants to feel like she got hers.

That might sound like a lot but it’s really easy to accomplish. If you do the things I’ve mentioned in this article and you communicate openly with her so you know exactly what she’s into, you’ll be able to give her the kind of sex she really craves.

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love: