How to Tease Your Partner Sexually
Anticipation is almost as good as the climax
Sex is incredible, but the buildup to it is what I live for.
Don’t get me wrong, I want the resolution. I want the sexual satisfaction that comes from a powerful, mind-obliterating orgasm.
Slow, teasing stimulation should ideally lead to something other than frustration. I have memories of spending an evening riding my vibrator trying desperately to get a final, powerful orgasm to cap things off after a long foreplay session — that struggle wasn’t fun.
But loving the payoff doesn’t mean I want to skip over everything that leads to it.
If I could press a button and experience an orgasm (that’s more or less how it works with my favorite wand toy), I’d probably hit it so often I would wear it down to its circuits. But I would definitely miss the anticipation — the feeling that makes me want to fuck in the first place.
That’s why I find it so strange when people treat it like a chore. When I hear about people rushing through the seduction or cutting the foreplay short, I feel the same way I do when I watch my husband scrape the cream out of an Oreo. Isn’t that the best part?
Desire is intoxicating. So is the way your body says yes by making your pulse speed up and your skin get warmer. It’s even better when you know exactly who’s responsible for it.
Losing yourself in the pursuit (or letting yourself be chased) sets your imagination on fire. And there’s no better feeling than knowing you’re desired.
I consider those essential parts of sex. They’re all feelings that you should try to create in your partner and savor in yourself.
That kind of anticipation doesn’t just feel great — it also leads to much better sex.
Breathlessly craving someone breaks down all your inhibitions. It lets your dirtiest, most playful, and most experimental side come through.
It makes your partner’s breath on your skin feel so much more arousing. It makes their touch feel electrifying. It makes their mouth feel better than any sex toy ever could.
And the orgasms are also out of this fucking world. I come harder and longer when I have to wait for it and get to really want it.
The best part is that it’s surprisingly easy to achieve. These are my favorite ways to tease someone and leave them craving more.
Foreshadowing
Get your partner thinking about sex long before it’s time to get down.
Whisper something dirty in their ear. Tell them about something you can’t wait to try in bed. Give them a detailed description of what you’ll do to them the next time you’re behind locked doors.
Send them flirty, dirty texts. Promise you’ll do something they’ll love. I can feel myself getting more eager when my husband tells me he’s going to tie me down and edge me the next time we fuck.
You can keep the details vague and suggestive, hinting that you have some very naughty plans. Or you can break down exactly what’s in store for them.
All you have to do is make sure that it’s an actual glimpse of what’s to come. It’s easy to let your imagination go wild when you’re dirty talking — if you’re horny enough you’ll be typing out messages about dishing out dozens of orgasms, oral that lasts more than half an hour, and some wild bondage that might not even be physically plausible. Make sure you keep it realistic — you want to paint a scene you can actually deliver, not write erotica.
Foreshadowing is even more effective when you space it out. Instead of one single naughty comment, make a few throughout the day. Send explicit texts every hour or two. Those will help your partner keep thinking about sex with you, even if they’re busy or distracted.
And as a visual person, I’m all for upping the anticipation by sending nudes. Taking full body shots, flashing a tit, or filming a well-shot dick drop can get your partner’s pulse racing and send their imagination to some very dirty places.
Make Out in the Kitchen
Giving your partner a taste of physical contact in the middle of the day is another great way to leave them wanting more.
There’s a sweet spot when it comes to this. It shouldn’t be too sexual or get all the way to third base. Otherwise, you’re not really teasing — you’re just fucking in the living room.
But it shouldn’t be completely innocent either. If it’s too tame, it’s going to feel more affectionate than sexy.
Make out with them. Give them a squeeze or a playful spank. Touch them in a way that shows you’re thinking of them in that way — which will make them think of you in that way, too.
Do it in the right environment. Basically, anywhere but the bedroom. When you’re dishing out a little hanky panky in bed, you’re basically in foreplay territory. This is still part of your pre-game.
I love getting flirty and physical in the kitchen because it’s a space that feels cozy and intimate, there aren’t too many distractions, but because you’re cooking you’re too busy to actually get busy. It’s perfect for getting them hot and bothered while they can’t do anything about it.
Casually Show Some Skin
Everyone loves casual nudity, and it’s a good way to turn your partner on without any effort at all.
In fact, you get to skip the effort of covering up or hiding yourself away. Instead, you can just change your clothes in front of them. Or get out of the shower and walk straight to the bedroom without a towel on.
Mr. Austin stepping out of the shower with his hair still half wet and wearing nothing but a towel is a look I find particularly enticing.
Those moments give your partner just a little glimpse of you — and makes them wish they could look some more.
If you’re feeling especially playful, you can do it more deliberately. Pulling your shirt up for a flash or pulling your pants down for a quick show of your ass can turn their mind in the right direction — and encourage them to pursue you even harder.
Take Your Time and Pull Things Back
The teasing shouldn’t start when it’s time to get down and dirty. In fact, that’s usually when it gets really good.
Having your mind on sex is really fucking fun. So is the giddy feeling of knowing that you’ll be having some really hot sex in the future. But the horny teasing that immediately precedes a fuck is what will absolutely drive you wild.
You can give your partner that feeling — but only by taking things slowly.
Don’t undress them right away. Touch them through their clothes first. Give them some over-the-underwear action and even some good old fashioned dry humping.
Make out with them until you’re both so turned on you’re practically tearing your clothes off.
Once you’re both naked and aroused, keep the same pace. Treat their body like something you want to appreciate, explore, and worship — not just something you want to consume.
Don’t stick to their naughty bits, either. Let your arousal inspire you and stroke, caress, squeeze, kiss, and lick them wherever you want — thighs, lower back, shoulders, stomach, neck.
And when you go for the goods, don’t hesitate to pull back on the stimulation. Pull her panties to the side and tease her slit before covering up her pussy again. Slip your hand in his boxer briefs and play with the head of his cock for a few moments, then pull your hand out.
Mix things up by moving from erogenous zone to erogenous zone. Kissing her pussy doesn’t mean you can’t go back to playing with her tits, and giving his cock a few strokes doesn’t mean you can’t go back to touching his thighs.
When you tease your partner like this, they’ll want you to give them more of the good stuff. And that’s the whole point. You’re giving them a chance to feel those urges and the intense pleasure when you finally satisfy them.
Rub It Slowly
Handjobs and blowjobs don’t have to be quick. Neither does fingering and pussy eating.
This is the part of foreplay that’s often treated like a chore. But taking your time with it is going to make your partner feel special and intensify their arousal.
And you’ll enjoy it a lot more, too. I never used to understand the appeal of handjobs and blowjobs until I started doing them more sensually. Yes, I sometimes stroke my husband’s cock fast and hard or bob my head on his dick like I’m trying to prove something. But it’s going slowly that taught me to really appreciate it.
You’ll get to the part where you make them come. Until then, let them savor all the pleasure you can give them.
Trace her slit with your fingertips. Lick her pussy slowly and softly. Let her pleasure build up.
Stroke his cock slowly and lovingly. Give the head some playful licks. Wrap your mouth around his shaft and slowly take it in. Let it sit there a second or two before slowly grazing your lips and tongue against it when you pull it out.
Let them feel how stimulating your hands and mouth can be, while imagining all the other things you’re going to do with them.
Treat Them to *That Kind* of Massage
I love sensual massages, erotic massages, and happy ending massages. Those should all be part of every couple’s repertoire. Its some of the most effective foreplay and it’s also a great activity for nights when you want to do something sexual but don’t feel up to actually having sex.
But the best kind of massage is a pussy massage — hands down.
It might not get rid of the tension in your shoulders, but it will give you lots and lots of pleasurable stimulation followed by an incredible payoff. Some of my strongest orgasms come at the end of a pussy massage.
Cock massages have the same effect, too. They’re what handjobs would be if they were all about teasing instead of getting to the sticky finish.
In both cases, it’s about going slow and building things up very gradually. Your partner gets to lie there and do nothing at all other than enjoy the feeling of your lubed-up hands on them.
And if your partner is multiorgasmic, it can be the start of a very long and mindblowing night.
Tease Them and Please Them
When people think back to the best sex they’ve had, it’s often the buildup they remember the most.
It’s not just the pounding fuck, it’s the way he made you feel wanted even before he pulled your underwear down.
It’s not just the sloppy blowjob she gave, it’s the way she seemed enthusiastic for it while you were still flirting.
And it’s not the marathon pussy eating session you got, it’s also the way he made you fantasize about it before using his tongue.
It’s that kind of anticipation that will result in some incredible orgasms and make sex with you even more memorable.
It’s the horny energy you inspire in your partner that will encourage them to do something really fun and dirty.
Teasing them won’t just make them want to fuck you — it will make them need it.
And to achieve that, all you have to do is slow everything down.
Take the time to seduce your partner. Make them think about sex all day. Be deliberate and slow once the action gets going. Make them wait instead of rushing through each step.
If you do, you’re going to send their desire, their arousal, and their pleasure way off the charts.
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