#Grimsby Hackney Responds
100 Story Response Breakdown: Part One.
What did it all mean?
Before getting into this, I would urge any newcomers, to my output on Medium, to scan through the 100 story response series to better understand the breakdown. Click here.
#1 Malky McEwan. You Know You Are With The Wrong Person If…
When I started this, I just saw it as a fun thing to do and didn’t take it seriously. I just thought that I would leave a nice comment and, perhaps the recipient might go and look at something I have written in return. Furthermore, I thought Smillew’s idea was brilliant and wanted it to be successful and hoped this would help promote it.
I looked into Malky’s profile and he seemed jolly enough so my response to him was the jolliest I could think of at the time. Nothing more than that.
By the way, do you reckon the name Malky McEwan is the most Scottish name you can find on Medium? The only way he could sound more Scottish is if was called Jock Jocky McJockface I reckon.
#2 BichoDoMato. Dear Reader, All I Want is to Be With You
The first thing to say here is that Mr Bicho is a shapeshifter and name changer. When he wrote this he was called Bicho (a bit hacked). Why? I have no idea.
Only the second story in and my first stumbling block. You see it’s poetry and, as you will realise going forward, I really struggle with poetry. I’ll go one step further and say I really can’t stand poetry. However, I didn’t want to look like a twat too soon so I begrudgingly tried to come up with something that made it look like I gave a shit.
Bear in mind that I hadn’t seen much of Bicho’s work, at the point of reading this for the first time, and you can’t argue that he doesn’t have quite a unique style.
How you might want to characterise “unique”, at this point, is entirely up to you. It’s probably best that I keep my own council on this for now.
#3 Reuben Salsa. Jennifer Lawrence and 100 Things You Can’t Fuck With
Reuben was among the first handful of writers I followed when I joined Medium at the end of March 2022. I think one of the first comments I made on one of his articles was a joke about the IDF. For what it’s worth I think Reuben is a very good writer, which………………
Disappointed me greatly to find him doing a 100 things article. I didn’t say so at the time, again, because I wanted people to like this response thing. However, there was an edge to the opening of my response, that I knew was there but most people wouldn’t necessarily notice. As time went on my hatred for 100 things articles became all too apparent. Blame Reuben for it.
Side note: In the comments, Frank T Bird wrote “This is your finest work Salsa (with a little fucking star thing, like what you might get in primary school)”, which pretty much sums up everything you need to know about Frank. Take from that what you will.
#4 JF Danskin. Successful Writing Sprints
(Whispering) “Everyone, come closer, sssshhhhh Annie, (whispering even more quietly), has anyone seen JF, is he here? Do you think he can hear us? No? (even quieter), This was horrible, wasn’t it? That bit where he goes, “It’s a bot that you can add to any Discord server.”, (almost punctuated breathing at this point) what the fuck is that? Is he young? Sssshhh Rachel, he’ll get pissed off if he hears us.”
“Sssshhhh, hang on he’s here, is he? Is he here?”
“Yeah Nah, JF, good advice that is mate. Cheers. Ha Ha, yeah really great. Oh you’re not stopping? Righto, bye…….bye……yeah see ya…….bye.”
“Fucking hell Annie, do you think he heard us?”
#5 FJCMontenegro. You Can’t Get No Satisfaction
Ostensibly this was a kind of Disney explanation of how evolution works. For that, it was a fun enough read. Having said that, I’m too old and miserable to enjoy this kind of writing and, just before reading it I had read an article by ████ ██████ called, “I Wank Over Bruce Springsteen 10 Times A Day, Let Me Show You How,” or something like that, and it made me angry.
With no way to temper my anger, I took it out on my response to FJC. Sorry FJC I could have been nicer.
A couple of months later ████ ██████ and another bloke ██████ ████████ both blocked me for taking the piss out of them and slagging, serial hypocrite and perennial bore master, Bruce Springsteen off.
#6 @██████ ██████ ███████. One for the History Books
From what I remember of this story, it was pleasant enough (I’m blocked by the author so I can’t go back and change my mind). I gave a simple, single-sentence response, which was a “to the point” comment on the essence of the story.
I didn’t find out I was blocked by this writer until I tried to go back and read this article a few days back. I’m positive that I had some interaction with him after the response, so I must have upset him another way. I can’t say as I had any issue with him so I can’t imagine what it was. Shame.
#7 Sam W. Artistry and Elemental Magic
This was an excellent story, from a talented writer and my response was in keeping with my respect for the work. I always read Sam’s stories when they pop up in my feed. I recommend Sam to all of you.
#8 Jillian Spiridon. The Influencer
I can’t add anything to my critique of Jillian’s jolly tale. However, at my age, I have to plan a lot of things around my bladder activity. Upon seeing it was an eight-minute read, I thought “oh, perhaps I should go for a piss now so I can concentrate properly”.
When I got back my missus was sitting on the sofa, looking at the photo of the hot chick in the little black number at the top of the story. “So is this what you get up to in the early hours of the morning then?” she inquired. I, of course fully explained why I was reading this story and that I had seen a picture of Jillian and this wasn’t her, “she’s actually a bit of a minger,” I said, just to get myself off the hook you understand.
Imagine how careful I have to be when I read anything by May More 💜or Zatanna Dark.
Based on the following endorsements, I’m good for something.
May More 💜: Loved this dark and grimly sensual tale, Grimsby.
Bridget Stella Ruxton Wilson: Not bad, not bad at all. You’ve got a new fan, Grimsby, old chap.
Sylvia: That was captivating!
Mike Knittel: Brilliant stuff.
Debra Groves Harman, MEd: Wow, very well done. Great tension in this piece, pacing is brilliant.
Annie Trevaskis: Dark, Grimbsy. Very dark. But strangely compelling, and definitely GRIPPING.
#10 Rachel A Fefer: He Followed Me Home, But You Can Have Him…
Before we go any further with this one, I want to make it clear that I think Rachel is lovely and my interactions with her work and her responses to me are always pleasurable.
Now, I’m not a fan of memoir stuff and I easily get bored with all the “I did this” and “I did that” kind of shenanigans. There’s nothing wrong, you understand, with anyone pursuing that format and many people love it. Furthermore, I’m not saying it has no artistic merit either. It just isn’t my cup of tea.
I did grind my way through it though and, with the above in mind, my response was just about the best I could begrudgingly muster.
Right, that’s part one done and here are a couple of points.
My Favourite out of this ten: Sam W.
My Least Favourite: I know you think it’s JF Danskin don’t you? No, it’s Reuben Salsa’s lazy fucking 100 things shit. I just wish I’d had the balls to say so at the time. From what I hear his squalid little article was among the most successful as well. It’s enough to make you sick, isn’t it?
Thanks to all ten writers for being good sports, but bear in mind I hadn’t lost my patience yet. I’m glad to have met (so to speak) all of you and for what it’s worth I’m saddened that #6 blocked me.
Cheers.
