#10 — He Followed Me Home, But You Can Have Him…
When What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t STAY in Vegas
At age 35, I told the goat joke to a stranger at lunch. He proposed, I accepted, and spent the next 14 years living in a Swiss castle —
Before that, my dating life was truly bizarre. If a wine connoisseur were to describe my vintage dates, they would have “an overall bouquet of failure with notes of ennui, self-loathing and a hint of poor life choices.” ;)
The Definition of Insanity
If doing the same thing twice and expecting different results defines insanity, then —
“Hi, I’m Rachel, insane by definition for dating two Vegas craps dealers — Kevin and William. They were 5 years apart with disastrous results but hilarious stories. Please enjoy my suffering as I hit a relationship rock bottom with Kevin, for starters…”
What Was I Thinking? — Part One
I wasn’t, that’s the problem. I’d gone out to Vegas before law school started to blow off some steam, see MK, my best friend from high school, and let my hair grow out after a hair modelling job gone wrong.
Right after I got there, I had some luck at craps and, since I really love poker, I took that stake and went over to Caesar’s. Playing 5 card draw with 4 guys I didn’t know; I was dealt a full house. I stood pat and started betting it up.
The guys at the law firm learned not to bet against me — my luck was legendary, especially when we’d cut cards for $20. Here, I was an unknown quantity and male egos kicked into high gear — much to my benefit.
That pot netted me over $15K and set me up for this epic dating disaster. In the mid-80’s Vegas was a lot smaller and, when you worked in the casinos, stories got around fast.
My last line to one of the guys I’d cleaned out at Caesar’s was “you can bump me if you want to (smile).” I used that one later on against Tom and the boys to goad them into ridiculous bets and it worked like a charm.
That story made the rounds to Sam’s Town, a semi-seedy off-Strip casino, where my friend, MK, worked as a change girl and Kevin worked as a craps dealer.
It didn’t take long for me to “meet” Kevin and we started dating. I guess that’s what you’d call it. For me it was a 6-week party with a few breaks for sleeping. Don’t get me wrong, I did get quasi-serious about him but realized this was vacation and it couldn’t go anywhere.
He had other ideas and pursued me pretty relentlessly. We traded “I love yous” and, as I was leaving, I said he could come visit me in Austin once I was settled. An epic mistake on my part…
What Was I Thinking? — Part Two
I’d gotten to Austin with a couple weeks to spare before law school started when the phone rang in my new apartment. It was Kevin —
“Hey Rachel! I thought I’d come see your new place”
“Well, I’m still settling in, and school starts next week. When were you thinking of coming?”
“I’m here…at the airport. Can you come get me?”
Holy shit! I thought — “Did I invite him?” And I really wondered that at first.
Feeling vaguely guilty for some reason, I went to get him and arrived at the airport to find him surrounded by 4 suitcases. Huh?
He got in the car, announced that he’d given up his place in Vegas and come to Austin to be with me.
The British have the perfect term for what I was — gobsmacked.
I had no idea what to do except take him home and think about it. One of us was very confused and he seemed to think it was me. That made me further confused about everything.
I was focused on law school, and this was more than a little annoying. Out of my continued sense of having done vaguely wrong by him, I let him stay and put up with his bullshit for a couple months.
I was young and egotistical, sure I’d somehow caused all this and blaming myself for the fuck-up.
He got a job in some bar — I wasn’t paying attention by that point but, when I heard he’d blown an entire paycheck buying everyone drinks I’d had it. My parents were paying for the apartment and, although I’d worked some and saved a bit, they were bearing most of my living expenses. I wasn’t going to have them paying for this dickhead as well.
I was headed home for my birthday weekend to see Mom and Dad and I told him to be gone when I got back. Another brilliant move…
How It All Ended
As you can imagine, when I got back most of my stuff with any value was gone. I hadn’t collected much jewelry yet but my Mexican silver, high school ring, etc. were found scattered around pawn shops in Austin as well as some of my knives and a tow chain — of all things to pawn, it’s weird.
I’d kept some good stuff hidden on general principles — like the pearls my parents gave me for high school graduation — so he didn’t get those and learning to deal with pawn shops was good training.
The real surprise came with another phone call a few days later — timing is everything —
“Hello, this is Officer Jones. I’d like to speak with Kevin”
“He’s not staying here anymore, did you say ‘Officer’?”
“Yes, I’m with the Nevada Board of Pardons and Paroles. I’m Kevin’s parole officer, do you know where he is? He had permission to visit and called a couple times but never checked in again.”
“No, no I don’t. Now that you mention it, I didn’t know he was on parole.”
“Well, miss. Be careful, he’s got a penchant for taking advantage of women, moving from one to the next. You’re the third I’ve called since he got out.”
“Really? Thanks…so much…”
Did I learn my lesson with that one? No, no I didn’t.
Five years later, I was out in Vegas again, this time with the whole family, when I met William, my second craps dealer, but that’s another story…
Stay tuned, there’s always more ;)
Here’s the backstory on how I ended up in Switzerland if you’re interested, it’s never dull being me —
