10 Things To Do In Your 20s
4. Solve all your psychological issues.
A natural consequence of being 22 is that your outlook on life changes quickly.
Just two years ago, I was living in Moscow, smoking hookah, convinced that I’d build a big video production company. Now? I live in London, voluntarily quit my job to write, read, and think for the better part of my days.
Things change. And no matter what anybody says, people change too. (Although I guess that with age, less so.)
I am ready that by the time I hit 30, most of the things I write in this piece will seem naive, funny, or even a bit bold to me.
This is not something I should be ashamed of.
If writers were afraid to change their mind, they wouldn’t have written anything. This is how it should be. Only idiots — or narcissists — don’t change their minds.
Jeff Bezos said that one of the chief qualities he looks for in employees is the ability to change one’s mind and admit that one was wrong.
So — with that out of the way, here are ten things I want to dedicate my twenties to.
Steal one or two if you like.
But keep in mind that it’s OK if you change your mind along the way.
Just because you’ve read something in an article doesn’t mean you should do it.
1. Become the person I want to be.
Meaning, build proper habits that would allow me to do so.
For me, this includes (but isn’t limited to): a steady health regimen, diet, a habit of not spending more than 30% of each day on work, being a good family man, brother, husband (?), father (?), writer, podcaster, person, human being.
Our habits are what we do each day. And what we do each day is, if you think about it, what our lives are about.
If you build better habits — you get a better life.
Ask yourself,
What kind of person do you want to be?
Then see what habits this person might have. Implement those habits in your daily life and over time, you’ll be who you want to be.
This is also a great way to build self-esteem. As Naval Ravikant says, “Self-esteem is nothing but self-respect. Do the right thing not because somebody else is watching, but because you are watching.”
2. Build assets.
On a more practical note: I want to build assets over the next eight years.
By ‘assets,’ I mean things that have a positive ROI on my life. An audience is one — be it Medium subscribers, Amazon readers, podcast listeners, or newsletter signups. (I wrote about this at length in my manifesto, Blog Is a Platform).
Positive cash-flows is another one. Instead of saving money, one is much better off creating positive cash flows that bring in money (like, real estate, investments, etc.)
I don’t believe in ‘making a lot of money quickly,’ but I do believe in platforms: things that give you external opportunities. For me, it’s having an audience — that creates plenty of opportunities — and solid investments that bring in dividends.
Other examples of assets/platforms:
- Good health.
- Good relationships with family, friends, external network.
- Money.
- Fame/social capital (your network).
Your twenties is not the time to build a career. It’s the perfect time to prepare for a career — and for the more productive thirties and forties. And the best way to prepare for success is to build a foundation for it.
3. Build skills.
I’ve talked about this in an earlier piece. Anyone can take anything away from you, but nobody can take away your skills.
When you know how to literally “do something with your hands” (writing counts), you’re unstoppable.
Personally, I love the media. And I want to build writing and podcasting skills. I know that these skills are essential in today’s world — but most importantly, they allow me to do the change I want to make.
Nobody can take your skills away from you. They are yours to keep and thanks to the internet, you can monetize them in numerous ways. In a way, having 1–2 skills that people find valuable is the best “platform” you can build.
4. Solve all your psychological issues.
There are people who are born into families with healthy relationships. There are love and support within the family. The kids grow confident, loved, secure, and go on to do great things. (Einstein and Obama are two examples that come to mind.)
But that’s not most of us.
Most of us come into our ‘first real decade’ with psychological baggage. Most of us are neurotic. (For example, yours truly.) Some of us lack self-confidence or self-love or get depressed (again, I have all of these things).
Your twenties is the best time to solve some of the biggest issues (or learn to co-exist with them) that hinder your personal growth.
If these issues go unresolved, they won’t magically go away on their own. They’ll keep poisoning your life and stop you from realizing your dreams.
5. Absorb as much content as you can.
But not by reading Facebook or scrolling Instagram or binge-watching YouTube videos.
No. I am talking about reading books. Classical literature. Leo Tolstoy, Dostoevsky (whom I have the privilege to read in their original Russian), the poetry of Emily Dickinson, the brilliance of Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, and great modern authors.
For example, I lack historical context.
My father loves history. I hated it for most of my school years. I feel a strong urge to fill that knowledge gap — and I plan to dedicate the next eight years (and beyond) to read everything I can get my hands on related to the history of Europe, the U.S., and my home country.
As Paul Graham wrote, “History is not just a great, it’s the only teacher. It’s all the data we’ve got on this world.”
Most people leave such things until they grow old. Or go on sabbaticals. Or whatever. But I believe that your twenties — when you have nothing, full of energy, curiosity, enthusiasm — is the best time to learn.
Instead of becoming a billionaire (which probably won’t ever happen), imagine you’re already a billionaire and that you went on a year-long sabbatical.
Now, learn everything you were ever interested in.
6. Find tranquility.
I know people who can’t stand vacations or weekends. “I just don’t know what to do with myself,” they say. I think that’s an unhealthy attitude.
First of all, boredom is a great teacher. It can point towards your true calling. To figure out what you really want to do, it’s good to at first do nothing.
Second, being bored is healthy. Because in today’s world, we’re never bored. However, our ancestors — who lived 100,000 years ago and had the same physiology as we do now — spent 99% of their time doing nothing.
Our bodies haven’t changed; it’s the lifestyle that has changed. I can’t imagine what sort of damage this is doing to our nervous system.
I say, be bored.
To find tranquility, we have to train ourselves to do nothing. To just sit there, staring at the wall, and be at peace.
It’s no easy task, so we might as well start early. I was so happy to quit my job and to have all that white space in my calendar all to myself.
Why do you think young people create so much innovation? It’s because they have so much time to waste. (And if you don’t have time to waste, no innovation can happen.)
Amos Tversky wrote,
“You can waste years by not be willing to waste hours.”
He meant this.
7. Be with your family.
Unfortunately, people grow old and die. So will you and I.
As I am writing this, my great-grand-father is 91 and still alive. Honestly, I don’t know how much time he has left. Every time I meet him, I silently remind myself that it might be the last time I see him.
I want to spend as much time as possible with older people now, because if I wait — it might be too late.
8. Educate yourself.
As I am writing this, I have no idea what I want to do with my career. I know I want to do something media-related. I know I want to be a writer.
But I won’t bullshit anyone by saying that “I have it all figured out at 22.”
And I don’t know where to start.
I have no friends or relatives who have worked in radio or television. Nobody I know is a professional writer.
When you don’t know where to start, the best place is to start with education.
So — I am thinking of going back to school and receive a degree. Getting a B.A. at 22 might seem late, but who said so? Brene Brown got her B.A. in social work at 29. I know people who didn’t get a degree until their thirties.
Plus, getting a B.A. is an essential step to get an M.A. in media communications: something I wanted to do for a long time.
Dropping out was a good idea five years ago, but now, since I know what I want to study — why not go back to school and build a career track for myself?
I remember when I dropped out, I told myself, “Until I know exactly who I want to be and what I want to study, I won’t go back to school.”
Well, now, I do. It’s time.
And for those of you who worry about ‘being late’: remember, life is not a highway; there are no signposts. You’re never late.
You can do whatever you want.
9. Build your ‘center.’
Our culture is obsessed with early success — we’ve talked about that here. And it’s also obsessed with people ‘figuring themselves out early’.
I say we should all learn from Italians. They live with their mothers until their early thirties. (Some even longer.)
The only way you ‘learn about yourself’ is through trying.
Hence, I want to dedicate the next eight years to trying, having fun, and just learning about what I want to do with my life.
Aside from “figuring yourself out,” it’s important to build your center. How do you do that? Live and let live. Stop comparing yourself to others. If social media posts make you jealous, cut them off.
We can all close our eyes until 29, remember?
10. Learn to live simply.
All my teenage and college years, I was obsessed with being ‘exceptional.’ The best at everything. The greatest. I thought I was born to do great things.
What a self-centered prick I was.
If I am honest, I am incredibly sick of the talk of greatness. There’s too much of that on the Internet — everyone wants to become the next Steve Jobs (or believes they will).
Relax. There’s no point to life. (But we should live it anyway.)
Being our best versions doesn’t mean drinking champagne and eating caviar with a spoon. That’s not my best version, anyway.
I want to live simply. To buy groceries, to walk the dog, to exercise, write, spend time with my family, in nature, and learn to not feel jealous of other people’s success. I want to learn to let go of comparisons and just be.
I want to build a ‘happiness muscle.’ To learn to be in the moment. To enjoy life as it comes.
But it’s a long process.
Which is why it’s worth starting earlier.
Like, in your twenties.
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