Your Ultimate Superpowers When Dealing With A Narcissist
You deserve to be free.
Narcissists are experts at making you feel like you’re never good enough. And they’re right: you can never be good enough for those who are not at peace with themselves.
If you have a narcissistic person in your life — and if that person is part of your intimate circle — you know very well how complicated, unpredictable and dysfunctional they can be.
However, it’s possible to remain detached. It’s possible to see through their mask, understand their core insecurities, and still set boundaries.
Besides, there are a few key traits you can develop that will help you become almost indifferent to their madness. The narcissist may still affect you, but you’ll be able to feel grounded and honor yourself, no matter how controlling or manipulative they are.
Here are your ultimate superpowers when dealing with a narcissist.
The Art of Self-Validation
One of the greatest weapons of a narcissist is their ability to invalidate every feeling, every thought, every emotion, or every opinion you share. They literally feel entitled to tell you what to do or how to feel.
As time goes by, you begin to lose trust in yourself. You’ve been invalidated so many times that you no longer trust your own instincts.
This is why self-validation is one of the most important skills when it comes to dealing with a narcissist — so that you can take your power back and learn to trust yourself again. This way, it’s way more difficult for the narcissist to gaslight or manipulate you.
And how exactly do you validate yourself? By telling yourself exactly what you need to hear.
When they tell you “you’re so selfish” for finally prioritizing your needs instead of theirs, tell yourself “I have the right to take care of myself. I deserve to feel good. It’s not my job to save, rescue, or fix others”.
When they tell you “that’s not true, I didn’t say that” and you know very well they did, tell yourself “I know what happened. I trust my perception”.
When they tell you “stop being so sensitive” because you expressed how hurtful their words are, remind yourself “My feelings are valid. I deserve to feel them and express them”.
Or, when they act like they know what’s best for you, tell yourself “I’m the only person who knows what’s best for me. I trust my intuition”.
The Belief That Your Worth Is Inherent
At the end of the day, your ability to self-validate is directly linked to your self-worth.
This means that if you want self-validation to become something you do naturally, you first have to believe you’re worthy of being seen, heard, and respected. You have to be grounded in your worthiness.
This is particularly important if you grew up with a narcissistic parent who’d constantly make you feel like it was your job to please them. Such parents lead you to believe your worth is based on your ability to be compliant and satisfy the needs of others — and nothing could be further from the truth.
Your worth is inherent and unconditional. It’s not something you have to earn; it’s not something you have to fight for.
In Stop Trying To Prove To Them That You’re Worthy of Love, I wrote:
“If anyone has ever led you to believe that love is something you have to earn, they’re wrong.
True love is never earned — it’s something that is simply there, something that flows without any effort and grows with an everyday mutual, conscious decision.
You don’t have to prove yourself to people who will never be able to appreciate every part of your being. You don’t have to keep yourself small to make others feel safe — because those who truly love you will not feel threatened by your authenticity.”
When you finally realize you have every right to stand up for yourself, you don’t have to convince yourself to validate your feelings and perceptions. You do it effortlessly because you trust your instincts, and you follow your inner guidance.
The truth is, you deserve to take up space.
You deserve to honor your needs. You deserve to prioritize your well-being.
Narcissists thrive off power and control — and the lower your self-worth is, the more they’ll be able to control you.
This is why being grounded in your worthiness and having the ability to validate your feelings are your ultimate superpowers when dealing with a narcissist.
Nobody has the right to tell you what to do or how to feel. Remember that.
