You *Must* Go Through the Suck to Get the Win.

There’s no other way around it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

For the first time in my twenty-eight years of life, I feel truly confident.

It’s taken a very, very long road to get to this point, but all I can say is that I’m thankful for the hardships because they taught me invaluable lessons.

Without these lessons, I wouldn’t be who I am today — I’ve learned what I value and what’s truly valuable in general.

I used to place too much of my worth on external things like my appearance and the inanimate objects I possessed.

I used to feel like I wasn’t worthy of good things because I lacked these exterior things, as if they were a requirement for good things to happen.

But now, after years of battling and continuing to battle my demons, I’ve come to realize that all that truly matters is your character.

Your character determines how you walk in life and, therefore, if you get to have (and keep) what you want.

I didn’t grow up poor, but I didn’t grow up rich, either.

Thankfully, I never knew what it felt like to not have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and clothes on my body.

But I did know what it was like hearing ‘no’ constantly as a child. And the answer was always the same: ‘We don’t have money for that.’

As a child, a part of me grew resentful because most of the time, I couldn’t have the things I wanted, and I always had to settle for what was left over.

As an adult, this part of my life convinced me I wasn’t worth the investment.

I became a very frugal and selfish adult. Hogging money like it was the most important thing in the world, and nothing and no one (including myself) didn’t matter as much as it.

Thankfully, I’ve grown past that.

I sought professional help about this and many other traumas I had that were preventing me from living a fulfilling, intentional, and authentic life.

Now, I’m more than happy to buy myself that thing or invest in something because I believe it will somehow work out. Even if it doesn’t at first, I believe that loss will correct itself in the long run.

Why am I telling you all this? I’m telling you this because changing your character is possible.

I believe one of the reasons why people remain stuck is because they genuinely believe that they can’t change the way they are.

I hear people always say, ‘This is just how I am, and it’s not going to change.’

To me, that’s a cop-out for not wanting to confront the aspects of yourself holding you back.

But the sooner you confront them, the closer you’ll get to start building a life you’re genuinely content with and becoming a person you’re truly proud of.

Without character and a steady belief in who you are and what you stand for, you will fall in the face of any challenge.

Like I said, people saying ‘this is how I am (or who I am)’ is a cop-out.

I’ve seen time and time again people who focus on the problem, on why things won’t simply work the way they want, without bothering to look for a different solution.

I won’t lie. I get frustrated being around those people.

In my head, I keep thinking, ‘If you would stop complaining and instead focus all that energy on finding a solution, you’d actually get somewhere.’

But alas, it is not my job to make someone aware of how they are self-sabotaging. That’s our individual job.

I’m only responsible and can only be responsible for my thoughts and behaviors.

I cannot make another person change, no matter how much I may want them to.

And if we’re not making an effort to be solution-oriented individuals, to identify and improve our shortcomings, we’ll always fall and stay fallen in the face of any challenge.

As the saying goes, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.

You build your character by facing the parts of yourself that scare you.

The parts you think are ugly and don’t want anyone, even yourself, to acknowledge.

As I said earlier, we can change our character. We can evolve into a different, better version of ourselves if we try and don’t give up.

I’ve learned through this journey that we always have a choice on how we let our circumstances affect us.

In other blogs, I’ve mentioned some of my difficult experiences growing up and how things were chaotic and disorganized.

Perhaps that’s why I’m such an organized adult — better said, I chose to be an organized adult because I saw how difficult life can be when you decide not to be.

This is precisely what I’m referring to.

We can decide whether we adopt the things that happen in our lives.

We can decide what to keep and what to let go of.

I decided to keep my resilient spirit, kind heart, and love and desire for the world to be a better place.

I decided to let go of my resentment, my traumas, and the pain they caused and to be okay with the bad that occasionally does happen.

Changing my mindset about the obstacles I faced and how they affected me freed me to look at them differently and allowed me to stop letting them hold me back.

I looked at the parts of myself I thought were terrible and realized they weren’t bad at all; they were just neglected.

And because I had neglected them for such a long time, I felt guilty about it. And that guilt made me want to hide. It made me feel ashamed and embarrassed.

But as I said, once I changed my mindset, everything changed.

Don’t be afraid of the sucky events and moments in life (past or future ones).

They are the path to becoming the best version of yourself and getting you closer to where you want to go.