Sex/Relationships

Writing About Sex Improved My Sexual Relationship With My Partner

I wasn’t raised to be verbal about sex.

Having sex is probably the most intimate thing we do as human beings. It’s also the weirdest. That’s why reading about sex and the sex lives of others can be so tantalizingly wicked. You can just read it. No one has to be there except for you. If you blush — no one is there to see it.

Once you put something out in the written word — especially on the internet — it’s truly out there, hanging around, sometimes getting recycled over and over the more often it’s shared by different people or publications. You can’t just pretend you never said it. You did. And it’s in permanent marker status online.

I’ve written pretty honestly about my past sexual dalliances and subsequent mistakes. It’s cathartic. It reminds me of how far I’ve come. It’s also changing my sexual relationship with my partner.

Writing about sex started as a way to satiate my curiosity and tackle my inhibitions. Now it’s allowing me to connect with more people than I ever imagined possible.

I’m not one for dirty talk — I’ve written about that. I’ve had a sexual addiction to someone who was unhealthy for me — I’ve written about that too. I’ve experimented with new ways in which to enjoy sex — which I have also been writing about.

And you know what? Writing about these things has caused my own sex life to expand.

By expressing my curiosity and desire through the written word, I have opened up a whole new world within my relationship with my partner. I’m more willing to try new things because I can’t wait to tell others about what I’ve discovered.

Without being overly graphic or giving away too many personal details about my partner, I’ve managed to knock on some new sexual doors I may not have otherwise if my curiosity hadn’t driven me to write about it. I’ve been with my current partner for a long time so I think that any nuance in our sex life — even a small one — is a welcome change.

I still have a difficult time expressing myself sexually through verbal communication. Writing about sex allows me to explore those awkward avenues in my mind and then actively play them out in real life later.

Writing about sex is much easier than talking about sex yet I’m still putting myself out there. I’m still vulnerable.

Additionally, I get comments from others who read my work about what they are doing with their partners in the bedroom which not only normalizes sexual experimentation but creates a safe space to share sexual stories, fears, and ideas.

Writing about sex has not only expanded my sexual horizons but it’s gifted me with a connection to other like-minded individuals who also want to discover their sexual identities through the written word.

I wasn’t raised to be verbal about sex. Sex can be weird to talk about if you’re not used to it.

It takes some practice to speak about your vulnerabilities and desires out loud. However, writing about sex has not only been freeing for me but it’s connected me to others in new and unexpected ways.

Talking about sex can be fun, but writing about it can be even better.

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