Sex/Relationships

Why Some People Thrive On ‘Dirty Talk’ During Sex — And Why Some Don’t

Do you like your sexual encounters to be narrated?

I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as a prude — not by any means. In fact, I feel like I am fairly open-minded about sexual experimentation. I’ve had my fair share of adventurous sexual experiences. However — I still get all blushy and weird when my current partner uses dirty talk.

Something about dirty talk just makes me feel embarrassed. I know I can’t be the only woman who feels this way. I don’t think I’m repressed sexually nor do I judge others for what they enjoy doing in the privacy of their own space.

So why the embarrassment over sexually explicit words being whispered in my ear during sex? It could be because it calls attention to the act of sex itself. Some people, like myself, are more inside their heads during sex while others are definitely more in the moment and verbal.

Fantasizing about certain things during sex is not uncommon. However, many people enjoy actually talking about all the sexual things they are doing while they are doing it. They also like to discuss the sexual acts that might come next, as a lead-up to them.

To me, a lot of dirty talk at once almost sounds like a play-by-play reading which kind of ruins the mood for me. A small number of dirty whispers are okay, but when it starts to sound like there’s a narrator in the room, that’s when I start to check out.

But I totally get it. Dirty talk really seems to get a lot of people in the mood for sex. In fact, a lot of people actually need dirty talk as a vital form of foreplay to get their proverbial engine going.

I have a few female friends who also feel weird about dirty talk during sex even though they are pretty sexually open-minded and experienced.

The idea of calling attention to the sexual acts that are happening can be uncomfortable for some people, myself included.

However, if my partner delights in some dirty talk I am definitely going to try to participate. I’m not going to lie though — sometimes I literally have nothing to say in response to certain things said to me during sex and sometimes I feel really silly responding to the sexy banter. I often have to hold back a chuckle and it really doesn’t turn me on, for the most part.

But in the right circumstances, in the right atmosphere, and in the right frame of mind, I can see how using dirty talk during sex can be quite tantalizing.

I still don’t know exactly why sexual dirty talk makes me blush. But maybe that’s the point. Perhaps the embarrassment is all part of the taboo nature of what’s being said during sex.

Perhaps the whole point of dirty talk is to get out of your comfort zone and to transport yourself to a place that’s a bit more vulnerable.

I’m still an ‘in my head’ kind of person and I can also be that way during sex. But it’s still an option for me to experiment more with things of a sexual nature that might make me blush. New experiences are always right around the corner — if you let them in.

How do you feel about dirty talk during sex?

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