Women Who Are Stay-at-Home Moms
Can get screwed in a divorce
I sit in the lawyer's office as tears stream down my face.
“I don’t know what is the matter with women,” she says. “I see women like you every day who give their power away to a man.”
Her words stun me.
They are blunt but accurate.
“The only good news,” she says. “At least you’re a confident woman.”
I make my way to the car.
Tears and more tears.
I sit behind the steering wheel motionless. How did she identify this big hot mess as confident? I am currently feeling anything but my typical self-esteem.
I am not ready to leave my husband.
These are the baby steps of my divorce infancy.
I have only the nerve to visit the office. I should have retained that lawyer on the spot. She saw my truth and beyond my vulnerabilities. It angered and frustrated her. She would have fought the good fight for me.
She saw beyond the lies I told myself.
I am not a typical stay-at-home mother. I have not lost my independence. I have built a business with my husband. I have initiated the investment properties we purchased. I manage the finances for our home, business, and rental properties.
In marriage, it is a luxury to be a stay-at-home mom.
As a stay-at-home mom, I have lessened the burdens on our marriage. I am able to pick up the slack and my husband can focus solely on work.
In divorce, it is a liability to be a stay-at-home mom.
Society and divorce do not view incomeless jobs as work.
In a divorce, I was essentially a volunteer. That’s a good word. People admire it. It promotes the feeling of goodness, responsibility, and selflessness.
But a stay-at-home mother's lack of a paycheck earns another label.
A far less favorable one. The label of laziness. It implies your children raised themselves. The house cleaned itself. The animals fed themselves. The school and community interface with no one.
It was magic.
You didn’t do a thing.
At least nothing worthy. Nothing that a number could be attached to. Nothing that implied you supported a spouse so they could come and go as they please and not be pulled in many directions.
Nope!
Divorce says you took advantage of that man.
Women who are stay-at-home moms can get screwed in divorce.
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