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rs, forensic accountants, financial experts, private investigators, and counselors.</p><p id="d827">Some of these professionals, like experts, tend to stay in their own lane.</p><p id="7ab1"><b>Additionally, a financial expert is not a lawyer. </b>A lawyer is not a financial expert. You get the point. There are a lot of moving parts to a divorce. You are looking for an advocate. But all of these individuals exist within their own industries.</p><p id="8608">I am an advocate.</p><p id="eac0">I ask questions.</p><p id="5224"><b>I look beyond the obvious at the comprehensive picture.</b> I connect the dots. It doesn’t mean I promise a certain outcome. It’s a process of discovery.</p><p id="25f6">It’s an education in divorce.</p><p id="90dd">It’s about financial abuse and other hard-learned lessons from an overly abusive divorce, I was ill-prepared to tackle. It’s the culmination of my experience, tremendous research, and my background as a marketer, former business columnist, and journalist.</p><blockquote id="f8a4"><p>I needed someone to help me navigate unfamiliar territory.</p></blockquote><p id="47ae">I required a person who understood divorce tactics.</p><p id="11c1"><b>I needed a plan, self-protective instincts, and an advocate. </b>Instead, I did what most people do. I simply asked someone who had been divorced who they used and what happened.</p><p id="b2bd">It was massively insufficient.</p><p id="9d84"><b>As a marketer, I have to peel back layers to solve a problem.</b> Why is a business losing $10,000 a month? What will make a product sell? How can earnings be increased?</p><p id="9f3c">I have to evaluate every aspect of a business and human behavior.</p><p id="a445">None of us are prepared for divorce, especially the emotional upheaval. We don’t consider the grief and exponential and unexpected losses. We don’t understand stress and fatigue can render otherwise smart individuals little ability to think straight and focus.</p><p id="b33b"><b>We don’t believe someone we once loved can become an adversary.</b></p><p id="4ff2">In a war, we are ill-equipped to face.</p><p id="73e9"><b>Follow </b>my quotes on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/colleenorme/">Instagram</a> or me on <a href="https://twitter.com/ColleenOrme">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleen-orme-7773015/">LinkedIn</a> or <a href="https://www.facebook.com/colleensheehyorme">Facebook</a></p><p id="8269"><i>If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/membership">become a Medium member.</a> For just$ 5 a month you will get unlimited access to Medium.</i></p><div id="16f1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-colleen-sheehy-orme-9b12658f5b9"> <div> <div> <h2>About Me — Colleen Sheehy Orme</h2> <div><h3>I have always been motivated by love</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*IZgS20QSDDgtFnXeCqBuFA.jpeg)"></d

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This Is Why I Consult on Divorce

If I’d spoken to someone like me I may have had a better outcome

I thought divorce would be painful. I didn’t think I needed to be emotionally and intellectually armed. I didn’t know it could involve war. I believed it would be difficult and draining.

No one explained trusting, naive people can be disarmed.

Worse, by an opposition they once loved.

This is why I consult on divorce. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought I did. I couldn’t have been more wrong. There were so many moving parts and I was reduced, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I consult as a divorced woman and a marketer.

I help connect the dots.

Think of it this way.

Years ago, I was having a problem with my leg. I went to see a vascular surgeon. He zeroed in on one vein he felt was causing my discomfort. This went on for several years.

Eventually, I started seeing an internist not long after I discovered a small red spot on my arm. It was phlebitis and a surface blood clot.

“You’re way too young,” he said. “To be having issues like this.”

He felt something wasn’t right.

He sent me to multiple specialists.

I went to see the vascular surgeon again and a hematologist. I had test after test. It turns out I have a very non-invasive hereditary blood disorder. As long as I don’t smoke or take hormone replacement which could thicken my blood I am fine. If I have surgery I need to consult with a hematologist.

It did flare up again during my overly long and abusive divorce.

My internist felt the stress was causing it.

Interestingly, the cluster of events that had initially led me to him was caused during the time my marriage began to unravel and my husband was uncharacteristically drinking.

Internists are like marketers of the body.

They connect the dots. They look at your entire being comprehensively and look beyond the obvious. They send you in the direction of specialists to help ascertain exactly what’s going on.

They look at the bigger picture.

I’m a divorced woman.

I’m not a financial expert, I’m not a lawyer, and I’m not a counselor.

I’m a marketer. I help others see beyond the obvious and work towards the best possible outcome. In divorce, there are lawyers, mediators, forensic accountants, financial experts, private investigators, and counselors.

Some of these professionals, like experts, tend to stay in their own lane.

Additionally, a financial expert is not a lawyer. A lawyer is not a financial expert. You get the point. There are a lot of moving parts to a divorce. You are looking for an advocate. But all of these individuals exist within their own industries.

I am an advocate.

I ask questions.

I look beyond the obvious at the comprehensive picture. I connect the dots. It doesn’t mean I promise a certain outcome. It’s a process of discovery.

It’s an education in divorce.

It’s about financial abuse and other hard-learned lessons from an overly abusive divorce, I was ill-prepared to tackle. It’s the culmination of my experience, tremendous research, and my background as a marketer, former business columnist, and journalist.

I needed someone to help me navigate unfamiliar territory.

I required a person who understood divorce tactics.

I needed a plan, self-protective instincts, and an advocate. Instead, I did what most people do. I simply asked someone who had been divorced who they used and what happened.

It was massively insufficient.

As a marketer, I have to peel back layers to solve a problem. Why is a business losing $10,000 a month? What will make a product sell? How can earnings be increased?

I have to evaluate every aspect of a business and human behavior.

None of us are prepared for divorce, especially the emotional upheaval. We don’t consider the grief and exponential and unexpected losses. We don’t understand stress and fatigue can render otherwise smart individuals little ability to think straight and focus.

We don’t believe someone we once loved can become an adversary.

In a war, we are ill-equipped to face.

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