I Did Everything Right in Life

But I trusted the wrong person

I wrote recently how I Lost Everything I Owned.

What makes it harder is I did everything right in life.

I’m not impulsive, I’m a planner. I did an excellent job of planning for the future because I don’t like stress. I was raised by a single mom and had a great deal of financial responsibility at a young age.

I didn’t overspend.

I increased our savings every year.

The investment properties we purchased were my idea. I paid down the mortgage on the first rental property. When most people would have bought the most expensive home they could afford, I was calling our stockbroker to significantly increase our monthly savings.

I quit my job to help my husband grow a business.

It made more sense for us as a couple. I made a sacrifice for him because I thought it was securing our financial future. In reality, I was walking away from my own career and independence. I just didn’t know that then.

I managed the money well for our home, business, and investment properties. By the time we were 40 and 42 years old, we no longer used credit cards and had a significant amount of cash savings.

We made money off of our beach house and always had a vacation place.

We grew the business enough to hire someone to replace me. I stayed home to raise our children. I was still involved in aspects of the business over the years.

As a mom, I volunteered voraciously.

If there was a school, charity, or community need I was your girl. I was overly involved. My husband used to say I did the volunteer version of working and he was correct.

I was The Mom Who Sang on Rainy Days.

Motherhood was the greatest joy of my life. Like most moms, I did everything perfectly, until my boys got old enough and life becomes messy enough that I fell off that pedestal.

It’s when I accepted we can’t raise our children perfectly.

We can only hope that our love raises them beautifully.

I had built a life. A really wonderful life. I had created a home. A truly lovely home. I had done everything right in life. My non-impulsive, planning nature had paid off.

I was involved in all aspects of my world.

I wasn’t taken care of, it had been a joint venture.

I had no idea I had trusted the wrong person. A guy who would erase all of my careful planning. Who would rob me of the security I helped create and save? A man who would imply he had supported and taken care of me. Who would say I was no different than any other employee?

The worst kind of man.

That’s who I had trusted.

Sometimes I wish I had spent more. I wish I had overdrafted our checking account and left him holding the bag. I wish I had been reckless and irresponsible. I wish I had made him pay the bills. I wish I made him negotiate mortgages and car prices. I wish he had to do more than drive to work each day. I wish I had made him stay home with a sick child. I wish I had made him cancel a meeting. I wish he had to do lawn work or home repairs.

I wish I hadn’t helped him grow a business large enough to financially screw me out of everything and believe he was more powerful than his weak ego actually is.

I wish I had played the role of the spoiled woman he labeled me.

At least, there would have been some satisfaction. I would have enjoyed years of wild abandonment, doing what I please. I would have been a kept woman with zero responsibilities. I wouldn’t have needed to plan. I would have been impulsive.

Married to a man who picked up the tab while I took a joy ride through life.

If only that were true.

Maybe I wouldn’t feel like I lost so much.

I would have to take responsibility for living in the moment. I would have to own up for not planning for a rainy day. I would need to acknowledge that I spent without thinking about the consequences of future needs. I would have to acknowledge my predicament with self-accountability.

I would only have myself to blame.

That’s not what happened. I made his world go round and supported it until I angered him by leaving. That’s when he altered the narrative. That’s when he refused to acknowledge the truth about all I had sacrificed and contributed.

I did everything right in life.

But I trusted the wrong person.

Follow my quotes on Instagram or me on Twitter or LinkedIn or Facebook

If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. For just $5 a month you will get unlimited access to Medium.