Did You Get a Fair Divorce Outcome?
I didn’t and I want to know why you did or didn’t.
I am sitting with a divorce professional. I’m exhausted. My bills are unpaid, and I’ve been left without food money, health insurance, electricity, and transportation. I’m receiving foreclosure notices, sheriff's deputies are knocking on my door with warrants in debt, repo guys are in my driveway, and more.
I’ve been to the emergency room multiple times with surface blood clots.
“Ah,” he says as he sits back in his office chair. “I’ve seen worse.”
This moment still shocks me.
It illustrates what’s wrong with the divorce system. I mean who says that? I’m even leaving out a few of my divorce highlights and this person still thought it was worth making a cavalier comment about abuse.
That bears repeating.
A divorce professional making a cavalier comment about abuse.
It’s no secret I didn’t have a great divorce outcome. It wasn’t remotely fair. I built a business with my husband and he hid everything. It’s why as a journalist, I no longer write about business or write features.
I focus on relationships now.
Divorce isn’t fair.
People get away with outrageous behavior. It’s shocking that archaic divorce stereotypes exist and continue to play out in the process of divorce. The lazy stay-at-home mom. The big guy breadwinner. It hasn’t seemed to shift even with some men choosing to be the stay-at-home parent.
It’s not a spouse divorcing a spouse.
It’s man versus woman. It’s baffling that these gender roles still play out in a divorce. Society hasn’t caught up with the times and neither has family law.
I’ve written about divorce for a decade.
Sadly, I have seen zero change during these years.
People abuse the system. They use, confuse, and abuse their own children as a means to win their desired outcome. They get away with lying to win custody issues. They get away with hiding money and robbing their spouse blind.
They get away with control and punishment.
They get away with breaking the law.
I recently met with a detective to report the loan my husband forged in my name. It’s grand larceny which is a felony. My ex-husband was assigned responsibility for it in the divorce. I had a text where he admitted to doing it and threatened me not to tell anyone. But unfortunately, it wasn’t taken off of my credit.
The detective told me he would meet with the prosecutor.
But he and I already knew what they would tell him.
It’s a family law issue. In other words, I can’t prosecute my husband for forging a $50,000 loan. I can only pursue him through divorce court which means I have to incur thousands of dollars to get it off my credit. And he will simply get a slap on the wrist for breaking the law.
More and more people are writing about divorce.
They are sharing their stories of physical, emotional, and financial abuse.
Yet nothing changes.
The most we can do is commiserate.
It’s not enough. It helps but it doesn’t prevent this from happening to other men and women and children. It doesn’t protect people physically, emotionally, and financially.
Call me crazy…
But I believe every man and woman should get a fair divorce result.
I didn’t get a fair divorce outcome.
My ex-husband hid money for years, he took everything we built and saved. He ruined my credit. He took out credit cards and loans in my name. He broke many laws, lied, cheated, and stole. He was abusive. He hurt our children to hurt me.
He got a great divorce outcome.
He just spent close to $100,000 buying a ring, getting remarried, and taking vacations. He has everything we built over thirty years even though he asked me to sacrifice my career to build a business with him.
Did you get a fair outcome in the divorce?
I want to know why or why not.
Was it custody, monetary, was it breaking the law, or something else?
Tell me your story in the comments.
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