Women Loving “Bad Boys”: An Article about PAIN!

So I was just doing my normal check in on Medium and I came across an article titled “Why Women Always Fall for the Bad Boys?” Now, this whole phenomenon isn’t necessarily anything new. But I guess it brought back some painful thoughts, memories, etc. that I may get into later. But first, let me talk a lil bit about what was said in the article (at least from the little bit that I could see, as I’m not a member at this point in time).

#1: Attractive personality

Dominance, assertive behavior, and confidence are just a few qualities of a bad boy. You see these boys hanging around other people, and they can divert all attention towards themselves.

Okay, so these are qualities that some women apparently find attractive in men. Fair enough. Question is, do most or all women find those traits attractive? What if a man is simply an introvert? Or what if, goodness forbid, a man is shy or a bit insecure? Game over? I don’t know. I suspect that there are different personality types, attitudes, etc. and to expect every man to have the same personality traits seems to be a bit limiting.

Not only that, but if that is so-called alpha male energy, somebody has to be the beta male, apparently. Ever heard the phrase “Too many chiefs and not enough Indians”? As politically incorrect as the phrase may be, it simply means that too many people are trying to lead. Yes, being a leader is noble, but does every man have to be the type to beat their chest and be like “I’m the man!” just to get love?

Yet another issue with this idea is that many women talk about toxic masculinity. Indeed, some people, men in particular, seem to suggest that there is a war on masculinity. Not only that, but some people claim to be tired of the “men must be masculine, women must be feminine” label dichotomy anyway. If this indeed be the case, wouldn’t women’s attraction to the so-called bad boys kind of enforce, you know, “bad boy” behavior, even at the risk of “toxic masculinity”?

Now, another man posted on that article and he came with some real game, something that I would like to quote and touch on here.

Women falling for such men or preferring such men is not necessarily an issue, it is their choice. Eventually those women will burn and learn.

But the consequences of this is that the genuinely good men are not being considered and more importantly women form a negative impression of men in general which they actively share with their sisterhood. You can see medium littered with such articles.

So this fosters both incelhood and hatred of men. Seems introspection is the only way out.

See, that’s a simple but profound comment. A lot of women may go for so-called bad boys, even up to their 40’s and beyond, yet when those guys aren’t all that they are cracked up to be, then comes the “men are trash” ideologies that permeate, not only Medium, but society! Meanwhile, the guys who at least “tried” to be what they thought women wanted ended up being looked over. Depending on the men, they might become bitter and tired of dating due to being rejected for not being “bad” enough while the same women who are probably bitter for being mistreated by the bad boys they wanted call the bitter nice guys “incels” as an insult. Go figure.

Personally, that sounds like a sad cycle and perhaps a recipe for disaster, but I digress. What I need to do, personally, is to cope with my own past (and even present) of not being “that guy.” Some men are ashamed to admit such things, but I think that it’s probably better to get past ego to the degree that one doesn’t care about labels and what other people think anymore.

And so another thing I want to post is my comment on that article.

Well… I’m not sure how much good it would do for men like me to complain about it. Women like what they like. I was never really “that guy”, but oh well. It used to bother me, being the so-called nice guy (or short guy, as the case may be) that hardly ever got with the kind of women that I wanted and wasn’t all that popular or even liked (as much as I wanted to be). I suppose it still bothers me, but I am trying to learn acceptance of things that I cannot and, perhaps should not, change. What else can be done to be free from the pain?

I suppose such articles can somewhat remind me of grade school (even at this age) and being somewhat unpopular and having difficulties dating. Although, to be fair, I had girlfriends and/or… intimate partners throughout my life, so perhaps it wasn’t all bad. Even so, ultimately, I was never super popular and even to this day people don’t really seem to support me or comment much on my Facebook or anything. My dad used to tell me that he was glad to get out of school because then he could be his own man and not have to worry about the cliques, etc. from school. The problem with me is, being on Facebook is kind of like dealing with it all over again. Even many of the women I would randomly add on there don’t comment on my stuff much. So I guess I’m even e-unpopular.

Anyway, enough about me. In conclusion, I do think that people like what they like and it may be that certain qualities do attract women. After all, people say that confidence, whatever that actually is, is attractive to women. Some say that might be the most attractive quality a man can have. I have my own theory on what confidence is, but suffice it to say, regardless whether or not a person is attractive, popular, etc., ultimately, it’s better for a person to make peace with whoever they are and whatever their situation is as best as they can. Whether they be alpha males, “Chads”, or incels.

Please share your thoughts and thank you for reading, commenting, and for any support. :)