Confidence is simply acceptance

Summary

Confidence is defined as self-acceptance, freeing oneself from the impact of others' opinions and self-anger about one's flaws.

Abstract

The article presents a nuanced perspective on confidence, emphasizing that it stems from a deep acceptance of oneself. It argues that true confidence is not about feeling good or being capable, but rather about reaching a state where one is no longer hurt or angered by others' comments on personal insecurities. This acceptance leads to a liberating sense of freedom, allowing individuals to be comfortable in their own skin, regardless of societal standards or the desire for approval from others. The author suggests that by overcoming the need to hide or change aspects of oneself, individuals can achieve a profound sense of confidence and contentment.

Opinions

Confidence is misconstrued as feeling good about oneself or being capable; it is actually about accepting oneself fully.
Insecurities are seen as the root of a lack of confidence, and they stem from fear of others' perceptions and dislikes.
Acceptance of one's inherent traits, such as race, height, or income, is crucial to building confidence.
The desire for reciprocal desire from those we admire is identified as a hindrance to confidence, as rejection based on insecurities is not a true loss.
The author posits that confidence makes one less tolerant of disrespect and more attractive to others, as it reflects comfort in one's own skin.
The article challenges societal beauty standards, advocating for self-comfort over external validation.
Self-deprecating humor is discouraged, while a light-hearted approach to one's shortcomings is suggested as a sign of confidence.
The author acknowledges that even conventionally attractive people face relationship challenges, reinforcing the idea that confidence is not about external attractiveness.

Confidence is simply acceptance

A lot of people don’t seem to know what confidence really is. They might assume that confidence is feeling good about yourself. They may say that confidence is feeling capable when it comes to your ability in certain things (which a case can be made for, so perhaps I’ll touch on that later.) In my humble opinion, confidence isn’t quite what a lot of people think, such as the idea of one feeling good about themselves, just shy of arrogance.

In my humble opinion, I think that the major definition of confidence that people need to get is that confidence is when you can accept things about yourself to where you are no longer hurt by what other people say about them and to where you are no longer angry about them. That’s confidence.

When you’re no longer interested in feeling the need to hide or change anything about yourself due to insecurities or to be liked by anyone, that’s confidence. There’s freedom in that. An insecurity may be the fear of other people noticing or disliking things about you that you inherently don’t like or are ashamed of concerning yourself; therefore, if you totally accept them and are no longer hurt by people not liking you or insulting you because of them, especially if it’s something that you can’t even help, that’s real freedom. The freedom to be comfortable in your own skin and accepting yourself, with your flaws and all, without being so angry and ashamed anymore.

For example, imagine being insecure about your race. But why be insecure about it? Can you change it? And even if you could, should you? Other things people may be insecure about, thus lacking confidence about, could be their living situation, height, income, job, face, etc. But the key to confidence and, ultimately, being free, is that you MUST destroy the insecurity IN YOUR MIND! That’s where it lies. It ain’t got sht to do with other people!

However, the problem beyond acceptance is desire. A lot of times we want those we desire to desire us in return. But think about it, how many people that you desire are you getting with right now? For a lot of you, it’s probably none, whether you are a man or a woman. So what exactly are you losing when the objects of your desire reject or insult you based on things you are insecure about? It’s not like you’re losing anything that you had anyway.

You may be upset that you don’t have the chance to be with them, but maybe you didn’t have the chance anyway. Or maybe they wouldn’t like you based on other things, your personality, or other things that you aren’t insecure about. The result ultimately would then still be the same. So get past desiring those who don’t desire you, get past wanting to please those who don’t like you, and, more importantly, get past feeling uncomfortable about things about yourself.

As for you men in particular, some women in particular tend to like men who they say are comfortable in their own skin. Even if women claim that they don’t like a certain type of man, if he is comfortable in his own skin and carries himself well, that in itself may go a long way. And when a person has the confidence to accept themselves as they are, flaws and all, they are less likely to tolerate disrespect from other people just because they are hot or have a certain title or whatever.

One more example before I try to end this writing: many men, including myself, have either been or are insecure about their heights, especially in this whole “dating app” generation and the prevalent superficiality that it can encourage. But confidence is no longer being angry about it, discouraged about it, or ashamed about it. You can even have a mild sense of humor about it (but avoid self deprecating humor), such as “You can wear your heels. You can reach for the jars and I’ll open them.” Or whatever.

Anyway, society may push certain ideas about what’s attractive, what’s “hot and what’s not”, but ultimately, you have to be comfortable with yourself. Sure, it’s nice when other people like you and when the objects of your desire like you in return, but even so-called attractive people apparently aren’t having the best of luck when it comes to dating and some also end up getting hurt, cheated on, in unhappy marriages, etc.

This writing probably didn’t turn out as articulate as I wanted it to, but I do hope that the idea that confidence is simply accepting oneself and being comfortable with it, even if they are fat and bald, resonates with someone. Take care of yourselves and thanks for reading.