Why We Need to Kill the Feedback Sandwich

4 reasons it doesn’t work and 7 tips that do

If you manage a team, oversee projects or approve deliverables, then you critique employee performance, either directly or indirectly.

Does giving negative feedback make you squirm? Many managers would rather just ignore those messy feelings and emotions.

Failure to focus on the feedback process is to a manager’s own detriment. Gallup research has found overly harsh criticism that lacks improvement tips can lead to employee disengagement, lower work quality and turnover.

In an attempt to balance our criticism, many of us have learned to reflexively rely on an approach that became a managerial rule of thumb.

“The ‘feedback sandwich’ was popularized in the 1980s by Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, who advised managers to sandwich any critical remarks between layers of praise,” write John Tierney and Roy Baumeister in “The Power of Bad.”

Psychological research revealed that the “feedback sandwich” should actually go the way of the dodo bird, as it fails to achieve its goal of moderating negative criticism.

Why Doesn’t the Feedback Sandwich Work?

There are four primary reasons:

1. Praise heightens sensitivity to criticism

Praise can actually cause an employee to lower their defences, according to a study of college students by Baumeister and Clinical Psychologist Kenneth Cairns.

Once the employee becomes acclimated to hearing positives (especially those who repress negative feedback), they are no longer on guard against negativity, which results in the “meat” of the feedback sandwich hitting them like a sledgehammer.

2. Most employees would rather get the bad news out of the way

University of Wisconsin Sociologist Douglas Maynard systematically analyzed how people would like bad news delivered.

Contrary to the popular opinion that we prefer to be gradually eased into bad news slowly, his research found more than three-quarters of employees want to start with bad news.

“A manager thinks he’s being kind by starting off with heaps of praise, but he’s doing it more for his own benefit. Most employees would rather first get the bad stuff out of the way,” write Baumeister and Tierney.

As managers, the feedback sandwich seemingly lets us off the hook psychologically for any harshness we deliver. Ultimately, the comfort of the manager is not a real priority.

3. Giving good news right before bad news nullifies the good

If a manager starts with praise and then turns quickly to criticism, the mind actually doesn’t have enough time to fully absorb the praise and convert it from short-term memory into long-term memory.

“It’s why so many employees walk out of meetings obsessing about the one or two bits of criticism they got instead of all of the praise that preceded it,” explain Baumeister and Tierney. “The criticism sandwich may be logical, but the brain doesn’t logically process threatening information. The power of bad can short-circuit the ability to remember good.”

4. The feedback sandwich makes employees passive listeners

Negative feedback triggers our natural “fight-or-flight” response. It’s common for employees receiving a negative critique to either try to shut out the feedback, argue about its validity or shoot the messenger.

If you engage the employee in a conversation, then you can prevent them from ignoring the criticism, show that you value their opinion and soften the perceived disparity in power.

What Is a Better Approach?

In “The Power of Bad,” Tierney and Baumeister explain how to deliver “bad news the right way.” Specifically, they examine a profession frequently called upon to deliver bad news: doctors. While all doctors certainly aren’t created equal, the best share some common approaches.

1. Always deliver the news in person

Perhaps unsurprisingly, negative feedback should always be delivered in person, which enables the speaker to gauge how the feedback is being received and course-correct or contextualize as necessary.

And beyond that, well, it’s just plain respectful. How did it feel the last time someone slammed your work over email?

2. Gauge and engage your audience

While there’s no play-by-play script to follow, the one universally important approach is to question the employee. Since every employee is different, it’s never a bad idea to ask the employee where they’d like to start.

You can also ask them how they think they’re doing. Let them assess their own performance or where they have learned that they might need improvement. Once you know where your employee’s head is, you have a common starting point.

Maynard’s research found that doctors best at delivering negative news employed “the perspective display sequence.”

“[It’s] a three-step process in which the doctor first seeks the patient’s perspective, then confirms it, then delivers the details of the bad news,” write Tierney and Baumeister. “Instead of being the hated bearer of ill tidings, the doctor becomes someone who agrees with the patients and wants to work together to deal with the problem.”

3. Don’t speed past the negative

While we’d like to race past criticism and pivot to something positive, there is value in sitting through the discomfort. Doctors’ experiences prove this point.

“After delivering bad news, there’s a temptation to rush ahead to something less painful, like offering encouragement or focusing on the logistics of handling the problem. But the best way to follow bad news is to shut up,” explain Tierney and Baumeister. “A pause gives the patient a chance to absorb the blow, and it allows the doctor to gauge the patient’s reaction.”

Ultimately, the employee’s response or lack thereof will direct you about whether there needs to be more discussion or if you can move on to problem-solving.

4. Tailor the feedback sequence to your desired outcome

Psychologists Angela Legg and Kate Sweeny conducted a research study, which found that the order of your feedback has a measurable impact on its outcome.

Before you head into a performance review, ask yourself whether your goal is to help the employee emotionally handle negative facts or rather take concrete steps toward improvement.

“When the people heard first about their bad traits and then their good ones, they ended the experiment in a better mood, but they were also less inclined to work to correct their bad qualities,” explain Tierney and Baumeister. “The ones who heard the bad traits last were more worried but also more eager for self-improvement.”

5. Be generous and creative with praise

Keep in mind that it takes more praise to balance out any negatives. Psychologist John Gottman’s research found that it takes three positive comments to overcome the power of one negative comment.

In addition, the more unexpected or unique a compliment is, the more likely it is to be remembered. Take a page out of my old public relations playbook. Before the review, take down a number of examples that prove your positive feedback and sprinkle them throughout the review. Don’t be afraid to repeat your key points of praise

6. Good right after bad reinforces retention

Given that negative feedback shocks our system into a state of heightened awareness, you can use this to your advantage. Positive feedback following negative criticism is more likely to be absorbed and retained. So, after a major point of negative feedback, you have the ability to soften the blow and reinforce one of their key strengths.

7. Another set of eyes never hurts

When you do have to deliver written performance reviews, as is common on HR tech platforms today, make sure you give yourself enough time to ask for another confidential set of eyes.

Outsider perspectives can easily expose a potential landmine sentence that you might have overlooked, given your proximity to and familiarity with a direct report. It’s important to watch out for anything that comes across as ruthless because it will not be forgotten by your employee.

Final Thought

In my opinion, the feedback sandwich is a product of a lazy, automated approach to management. There is no one-size-fits-all way to deliver feedback.

Negative feedback has a powerful effect on us all, just in slightly different ways. The best approach is to treat each feedback session like a unique experience that requires deliberate thought and reflection. Follow the lead of your employees, try to minimize the power disparity, engage them in a two-way conversation and empower them to propose solutions to elevate their performance.