avatarMatt Legg

Summary

The article discusses the author's personal struggle with feelings of not belonging and self-doubt, emphasizing the importance of self-worth and authenticity for personal success and happiness.

Abstract

The author of the article shares their lifelong battle with insecurities and the belief that others are more deserving of success and happiness. They reflect on how their attempts at modesty and humility have not led to being liked or respected but instead diminished their life. The article underscores that self-worth must come from within and not be contingent on others' opinions. It advocates for embracing one's inherent value and the right to exist and thrive, encouraging readers to live authentically and not be deterred by haters. The author acknowledges the challenge of self-acceptance and outlines steps to build self-esteem, including self-discovery, living true to oneself, and ignoring detractors, ultimately leading to success and fulfillment.

Opinions

  • The author believes that basing one's self-worth on external validation leads to a loss of personal control and a diminished life.
  • They assert that everyone has an equal right to exist and pursue happiness, regardless of others' opinions.
  • The article suggests that trying to meet everyone's expectations is futile and leads to a less impactful life.
  • It posits that being oneself, even if it's not universally accepted, is the key to happiness and making a meaningful contribution.
  • The author emphasizes that self-confidence and self-esteem are crucial and must be cultivated from within.
  • They recommend a process of self-discovery, living authentically, and maintaining humility, even when faced with criticism.
  • The author promotes their Ebook as a resource for building emotional resilience and self-esteem.

Why Do I Feel Like I Don’t Belong In The World?

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

I have a right to be here on earth, just like you, and every other plant and animal on earth.

Why don’t I believe this?

My whole life I have struggled with self-doubt and insecurities. Constantly feeling like others are better than me and therefore worthy of success and happiness while I’m not.

For some reason, I thought that if I’m modest and humble people will like me. I don’t want to be too loud or aggressive, I don’t want to do things to rock the boat and get others mad at me. I value their opinions of me over my opinion of myself.

I now see that my thinking doesn’t make any sense. Living a small, scared, sad life doesn’t make people like me, it doesn’t make me virtuous or good. It makes me a small pathetic person.

When we determine our value or self-worth based on other people or how we think they will react, they control us.

Our self-worth and self-confidence have to come from within. People will always say good things or bad things, we have no control over them.

Those people aren’t better than us and we aren’t better than them. We’re a bunch of highly evolved monkeys, grunting our way through existence. We have a reason to be here just as much as anyone else.

It’s still hard for me to accept myself and believe I am worthy of happiness and success. But the truth is it’s up to me, no one is going to come up and give me permission to be happy, I have to make that choice, and do it for me.

Trying to live a life others agree with won’t work. We will never be good enough to meet everyone’s expectations. And the more we try the less we have to offer because we are living small, scared lives.

The way to have an impact and help others the most is by being yourself.

It might rub some people the wrong way, but the freedom and happiness that come from being yourself open our lives to endless possibilities.

Steps to follow

  1. Figure out who you are
  2. live your life
  3. ignore the haters
  4. become successful
  5. Remain humble and have pity for the haters, you are happy and fulfilled but they are still sad and pathetic

Thanks for reading, I wrote an Ebook, click the link for a free sample

Or click one of these links for other stories I wrote on medium

Self-awareness
Self Esteem
Self Improvement
Life Lessons
Life
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