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pee! Portrait of Queen Elizabeth I </i></b><i>— <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_I"><b>wikimedia commons; public domain</b></a></i></figcaption></figure><p id="5901"><b>Question 5</b> — Why did men in the Elizabethan era find it necessary to wear a codpiece over their fly? The bigger the better they say. I guess they had to attract the babes somehow until Corvettes and Platinum American Express cards were created.</p><figure id="1de3"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*jhmeN0jU73vo9MonwNQbqg.jpeg"><figcaption><b>Ladies, can I interest you in a hard fiver?</b> <a href="https://pinacotecabrera.org/en/collezione-online/opere/ritratto-di-antonio-navagero/">Portrait of Antonio Navagero </a>(1565) with an accentuated codpiece, oil on canvas by Giovanni Battista Moroni, Pinacoteca di Brera, Milan</figcaption></figure><p id="be0d">Come to think of it, I kind of miss the old look. Above is a painting of Tony at the strip club ready to impress and undress. The ladies loved it when he and his first impression walked through the door with cash in hand.</p><p id="a695">Hard to take your eyes off the beast. I feel like I would want a chair and a whip just to stay safe from the formidable protrusion.</p><p id="1dfb">Can you imagine a group of guys just standing around with their massive codpieces on — shooting the breeze? Then one might say, “Hey! Point that big thing somewhere else, you almost put my eye out.” “LOL!!!!!!!!” They all roar!</p><p id="f02c">Questions about vague and incomplete stories we all hear growing up and throughout each day, need to be asked and answered.</p><p id="ec0f">Even if the answers are of our own making. For example, nowhere in the Holy Bible does it mention the <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-first-erection-b0af304d0fe1">First Erection</a>. I think this tidbit of information is extremely important — I know mine was. Ergo, we must insert what we see as a logical explanation when one is not provided.</p><p id="8635" type="7">Here is a story that helps fill in the missing pieces in The Garden of Eden with God, Adam, and Eve, and why a good relationship takes work.</p><div id="e9f0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-first-erection-b0af304d0fe1"> <div> <div> <h2>The First Erection</h2> <div><h3>This is even better than the keys to the Buick</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*aPZTw3wGJq0tjTDP)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="f0d5">If you have questions you would like to ask, please feel free. I will answer them with the most sage wisdom I have.</p><p id="3170">If you have witty answers to basically stupid questions, please share. The world n

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eeds all the humor it can get.</p><p id="f275"><b>Peace, Love, and Unconditional Happiness!</b></p><figure id="c8e2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*ft__L5YyQM6nuMXF_-jFZg.jpeg"><figcaption><b>I’m Done!</b> Branded art by H Mikel Feilen</figcaption></figure><p id="5292">Would like to thank my editor, <a href="https://medium.com/@AdamR19">Adam Robinson</a>, for helping make me and my piece a little better.</p><div id="94e2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/subscribe/@mikelfeilen?source=publishing_settings---user_settings----------------------------------"> <div> <div> <h2>Get an email whenever H. Mikel Feilen publishes.</h2> <div><h3>Get an email whenever H. Mikel Feilen publishes. By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don't already…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*rwxEYEHWJZTmMgSU)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="bf90">More Mikel Madness</h2><div id="5a0b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sexual-near-death-experiences-99633765d8c4"> <div> <div> <h2>Sexual Near-Death Experiences</h2> <div><h3>I can’t breathe!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*_TqDocvKJ7Y3TX1G)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="5c02" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/rocky-relation-ships-eb90c66a6333"> <div> <div> <h2>Rocky Relation Ships</h2> <div><h3>Always wear life jackets when sailing the seas of love</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*gLx6m275FtFoeQe6TW_pCQ.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="012f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dont-look-now-but-i-think-i-m-evolving-856b482b9754"> <div> <div> <h2>Don’t Look Now — But I Think I’m Evolving</h2> <div><h3>I am not sure if this is in my best interests</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*J9B2P9OfpZW4gzTR-fM4Nw.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Unanswered Questions

Why, Did, Who, and What If

Vague stories are usually left up to interpretation

**I’m Starting — Now!** Drawing by the author.

Have you ever asked yourself questions about history, the Holy Bible, and other various topics that seem to be lacking in substance and facts? History books tell us a great deal about our past and yet, leave much to the imagination. Sort of like every History teacher ever!

All books stating theories and ideas of history and religion, skate along, skirt around, or simply omit what I would think of as important information related to each topic.

For instance, questions about the Bible:

Question 1 — What if Adam was not especially attracted to Eve? Maybe that is when God came up with the idea of “options”, like cell phones.

Question 2 — What if Eve was unimpressed with Adam? Let’s face it, he didn’t even have a job. Just another spoiled rich kid as far as she was concerned.

Question 3 — Who was more surprised by the first erection? Was it Adam when he yelled out, “Stand back Evie, we don’t know how big this thing is goin’ get.” or was it Eve when she asked God — “You want him to do what with that thing?”

Question 4 — What if Adam and Eve tried family counseling with their sons, would that have helped? From what I remember, the boys never did seem to work out their differences.

Question 5 — Why was Charleston Heston chosen to play Moses in the movie? Was it because Heston looked like Moses or maybe it was Moses who looked more like Chuck? I guess we’ll never know.

Moving on to History questions:

Question 1 — Did Cleopatra prefer powerful men, or did she just have a fancy for Italians with big noses?

Question 2 — Did Alexander the Great tell Roxana (his beautiful wife from Persia) about Hephaestion (his beautiful male lover from back home) before or after the wedding? Who cares? Back then things were different — maybe — who knows?

Question 3 — Do you think the other wives of Alexander were surprised when Roxana invited them to her place for a goodbye drink after Alex’s death? (Roxana, murdered the other wives directly after Alexander’s departure.)

Question 4 — Is it just me or do all the women in pictures of Great Britain’s Elizabethian era, look about as fetching as a Baracuda with a lace doughnut around her neck?

***Oh, Great! — Now I have to pee! Portrait of Queen Elizabeth I*** — **wikimedia commons; public domain**

Question 5 — Why did men in the Elizabethan era find it necessary to wear a codpiece over their fly? The bigger the better they say. I guess they had to attract the babes somehow until Corvettes and Platinum American Express cards were created.

**Ladies, can I interest you in a hard fiver?** Portrait of Antonio Navagero (1565) with an accentuated codpiece, oil on canvas by Giovanni Battista Moroni, Pinacoteca di Brera, Milan

Come to think of it, I kind of miss the old look. Above is a painting of Tony at the strip club ready to impress and undress. The ladies loved it when he and his first impression walked through the door with cash in hand.

Hard to take your eyes off the beast. I feel like I would want a chair and a whip just to stay safe from the formidable protrusion.

Can you imagine a group of guys just standing around with their massive codpieces on — shooting the breeze? Then one might say, “Hey! Point that big thing somewhere else, you almost put my eye out.” “LOL!!!!!!!!” They all roar!

Questions about vague and incomplete stories we all hear growing up and throughout each day, need to be asked and answered.

Even if the answers are of our own making. For example, nowhere in the Holy Bible does it mention the First Erection. I think this tidbit of information is extremely important — I know mine was. Ergo, we must insert what we see as a logical explanation when one is not provided.

Here is a story that helps fill in the missing pieces in The Garden of Eden with God, Adam, and Eve, and why a good relationship takes work.

The First Erection

This is even better than the keys to the Buick

medium.com

If you have questions you would like to ask, please feel free. I will answer them with the most sage wisdom I have.

If you have witty answers to basically stupid questions, please share. The world needs all the humor it can get.

Peace, Love, and Unconditional Happiness!

**I’m Done!** Branded art by H Mikel Feilen

Would like to thank my editor, Adam Robinson, for helping make me and my piece a little better.