Stoicism & Philosophy
What’s On Your Tombstone?
Our commitments become an end unto themselves.
When you see someone often flashing their rank or position, or someone whose name is often bandied about in public, don’t be envious; such things are bought at the expense of life. . . . Some die on the first rungs of the ladder of success, others before they can reach the top, and the few that make it to the top of their ambition through a thousand indignities realize at the end it’s only for an inscription on their gravestone. — Seneca, On The Brevity of Life, 20
What’s Your Excuse?
What’s your excuse for not prioritizing the people you love? What’s your excuse for being hyper-productive within your career but not outside your career? These questions won’t apply to everyone, but can you relate in the slightest way?
“Sometimes our professional commitments can become an end unto themselves. A politician might justify the neglect of his family for his office, or a writer might believe her “genius” excuses antisocial or selfish behavior. Anyone with some perspective can see that, in fact, the politician is really just in love with fame, and the writer enjoys being condescending and feeling superior. Workaholics always make excuses for their selfishness. — The Daily Stoic, p222
What is the driving factor for your work? Is it to serve others? Is it to accumulate accolades? Is it to present a certain image of success to the world? Is it to acquire more money that can’t make it to the grave with you?
Karoshi: Death from Overwork
Some studies show people die early in Japan every year because they overwork themselves. It’s easy to by the way; The majority are money, status, and busy-work chasers.
People work to earn, and people earn to live, but at what cost to their relationships? At what cost to their holistic health (i.e., mental, emotional, physical, spiritual). At what cost to the quality of your life?
‘Death from overwork’ is so common in Japan there’s even a word for it. But is it physically possible? [Yes.] Reports of the nation’s corporate breadwinners, known as “salarymen”, dropping dead from overwork have been making headlines for decades. — BBC
The Insanity of “Accomplishment”
I try not to get too caught up in the term “legacy” because once I’m gone, I’m gone. We all return to the dust at some point. To have my name mentioned for generations to come is ultimately a meaningless, worthless, and empty pursuit.
But society teaches us it’s salient to be productive, maximize our time, and do more. We don’t want to be caught being lazy, and our over-productive peers who constantly strive and do the most remind us of how far behind we are in life in comparison.
While these attitudes can lead to impressive accomplishments, their costs is rarely justified. The ability to work hard and long is admirable. But you are a human being, not a human doing.
Seneca points out that we’re not animals. “Is it really pleasant to die in a harness?” he asked. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn puts it better: “Work is what horses die of. Everybody should know that.” — The Daily Stoic, p222
Accomplishments, breaking records, reaching new heights, and progress are all inevitable; this is how it’s supposed to go, but we don’t need to sacrifice ourselves in the process.
What’s On Your Tombstone?
I remind my family of three things:
- I don’t want a funeral.
- I want to be cremated.
- I don’t want a grave.
I don’t want to waste money on death, and I don’t prize what people (I’ll never know) think of me. What’s on my tombstone doesn’t matter to me. If anything, when I die, I want people to remember how:
- I strived to grow despite my infinite flaws.
- I positively impacted them through my writing.
- I tried to do life to the best of my ability.
- I was generous, more kind than an asshole, and possessed a mostly good heart.
For the most part, this is what matters. Not the degrees, the records broken, the education, the fame, and the money. At the end of the day, none of this matters. And if I utilized my life to accomplish at the expense of my health and family, it only reveals another wasted life.
Stoicism reminds us to question what we pursue most earnestly and cease dangerous pursuits before it’s too late.
