Desires Make You A Servant
Are You Free Or Enslaved?
If you want nothing, you have everything. You’re in control, and no one has leverage over you. Not businesses, advertisements, societal “norms,” people, or desires.
Real-Life Examples
How often do we witness people buy the new car, only to watch them constantly work to pay for it? They have to keep working, and if they don’t, their car will be repossessed (not to mention their credit will get f*cked up).
Then we have women who wake up earlier every single day just to put on makeup. Because they perceive wearing makeup will present them more attractively to the world, and it will also make them feel better about themselves. But I’m sure not every woman always wants to get up extra early to put on makeup. The makeup industry is a billion-dollar industry because, as women, we’ve been taught one of our main jobs in this world is to be pretty.
Time after time, people modify who they are to fit the mold of who they think others — that they seek approval from — want them to be.
I’m sure many of us have stayed at toxic jobs — full of toxic people who treated us poorly — longer than we needed to because we were too lazy to apply for a better job or because we felt like we couldn’t do better. So, we stayed because we needed the money to pay the rent/mortgage, pay the car note, pay for that social media-worthy vacation, have the latest gadgets, and make the minimum monthly payments on our credit card and student loan debts.
The Stoic POV
“In the modern world, your interactions with tyranny are a bit more voluntary than they were in ancient times. We put up with our controlling boss, though we could probably get a different job if we wanted. We change how we dress or refrain from saying what we actually think. Because we want to fit in with some cool group. We put up with cruel critics or customers. Because we want their approval. In these cases, their power exists because of our wants. You change that, and you’re free.” — The Daily Stoic, p 130
Tantalus: The highest power is — Thyestes: No power, if you desire nothing.” — Seneca, Thyestes, 440
Now Let’s Be Realistic
Realistically speaking, we will always possess desires in this world. However, we can mitigate our desires — especially the superficial ones (e.g., desires for materialistic things and external approval, all of which are meaningless) through the following methods:
- Question Your Desires: Is this something I genuinely want, or something I want due to the enculturation of a materialistic society?
- Implement Self-Discipline: Just because we want something does not mean we need to engage and initiate the attainment of the desire. Not every desire is worth the pursuit. Many desires only lead to emptiness.
- Be Firm In Your Identity: Question everything. Question who you are. Question who you have been taught to be (i.e., via your childhood). Question who you are becoming. Learn to think for yourself. Learn to question why you do the things you do. And be okay if you don’t fit the mold of what everyone else is doing or who everyone else is becoming.
- Learn To Think For Yourself: Many of us believe we are making the decisions for our lives, but many of the decisions we make are due to how we have been raised, our personal experiences, the constant intake of media and its messages, and the effects of enculturation. You must take time to drill down to your core and inner being through introspective reflection, personal development, and self-education to determine who you genuinely are and what decisions are actually yours.
Final Thoughts
The next time you find yourself in a situation doing something you don’t want to do, being around people that aren’t adding value to life, or feeling and wanting to say “no,” but you’re about to say “yes,” ask yourself the following question: Who will I be: Free or Enslaved?
