Black History Month Series Vol 3
What’s a Black Problem Anyway?
My cousin said I have one, I don’t identify with being a minority
Context
My cousin said that I don’t have ‘black’ problems. In my previous story about ‘How to treat black people as people…equally’, I wrote:
I don’t relate to the victimization of my race. I even had a cousin that told me that my experiences are ‘white’ experiences and I don’t have ‘black’ problems. Whatever THAT means…🤣
Hmm… I think my cousin meant that I’ve transcended my ‘blackness’ and white people are my equal. So, I’ll take it as a compliment.
Black problems?
…I don’t have those nor do I want those and therefore I don’t identify with those. It's possible to identify with a “ black problem” and when that happens it perpetuates the ‘black’ problem.
If I had a ‘black’ problem ironically, it would be that I don’t identify with being a minority
Ok, let’s put the conversation of ‘black problems’ aside for two seconds to discuss the ramification of identifying with ANY problem. The problems of people rather than ‘black’ people.
People can identify with problems in all aspects of their life and it’s the major cause of arguments, duress and emotional stress.
What if a problem disappears and all you knew, was who you are as ‘the problem?’ In many cases, people can’t handle that when the problem is gone, they feel displaced. Instead of trading their problem with something positive; They may replace the problem with a new problem to feel more like themselves…which was a problem in the first place.
That’s crazy!
What’s crazier is when people around you don’t like your healthy change. Say you were always fat and now you are fit but you're married to an overweight person who is upset that you are fit.
They always identified you as the problem you use to have. So, they become displaced because they no longer know how to relate to you because you are no longer the person you use to be. Therefore, they consciously or subconsciously try to push you back into the problem you use to be JUST so they could feel comfortable with themselves.
Ha, ha, ha … you gotta admit, that’s kind of funny. The human condition is hilarious. Sometimes, you have to laugh to keep from crying and not take yourself too seriously.
Black problems…are problems just like any other problem.
Some people are putting wayyyy too much emphasis on their race like it means something…it doesn’t mean shit. If this disturbs you, ask yourself why.
I have ‘white’ experiences, not ‘black’ problems.
The story that I told my cousin when she said:
that my experiences are ‘white’ experiences and I don’t have ‘black’ problems.
At a family get-together, I was telling my cousin of a funny story about having a screaming fight with my husband over mashed potatoes.
I had serious marriage problems. My husband of 20 years and I would argue constantly for years. Then one day we were sick of hating each other. We decided to fix our marriage problems.
When we stopped arguing we felt bored. We didn't know how to relate to each other anymore. So we started arguing again over stupid things. I remember we had a screaming fight over mashed potatoes!🤣…. When we stop to realize what we were arguing over, we ended up on the kitchen floor crying with laughter.
We fixed our marriage problems when we realized the identity of our marriage WAS ‘the arguments.’
Do you agree with my cousin that my story was a ‘white’ experience and I don’t have ‘black’ problems?
I think my cousin meant that I’ve transcended my ‘blackness’ and white people are my equal.
- What will happen if a black person no longer identifies with the “black problem”?
- How are white people( or other races) going to relate to black people if the ‘black problem’ no longer exists?
It’s kind of sick, but often human beings will fight like HELL to defend their limitation. Try taking a crack pipe from a crack head, try putting down that donut when you know you are overweight, try telling a black man he’s lazy when he uses the color of his skin to not get a job.
Challenging someone’s identity could be disturbing even dangerous. So I could understand a black person being upset with my thoughts in the article.
What is a “black problem” anyway?
Does it exist?
If so, the problem may be because of claiming it as your personal problem in the first place. Why not transcend our race and just be a person relating to people as people instead of a minority.
I have a ‘thing’ about being called a minority even though I am ‘black’
My ‘black’ problem ironically, is that I don’t identify with being a minority.
I know people of color and the rest of the world sees black people as a ‘minority’ but I don’t like the connotation it holds. I would much rather call myself a ‘majority.’
I believe words hold power and how you define yourself means something. ‘Minority’ as a word in Webster's dictionary is defined as:
a part of a population differing from others in some characteristics and often subjected to differential treatment
the smaller in number of two groups constituting a whole specifically: a group having less than the number of votes necessary for control
This experience may be true for others and I’m certainly sympathetic to people who experience them but I don’t want to identify with that.
If I do it becomes a “black problem.”
So here’s my question for you, say if we don’t identify as having a ‘black problem’, What does it really mean to become more sensitive to the needs of minorities?
I don’t know the answer to that other than be fair, respectful and kind. But I do that to any race even if they are a part of a ‘majority’ race.
“ Until the color of a man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes…there’ll be war”
Bob Marley
Here is what I think the REAL “black” problem is
Now before people start shouting ‘discrimination’ and ‘racism’ let me give a disclaimer:
I support the LBGTQ and black community. But just because you are gay or black doesn’t mean your shit doesn’t stink too. People have problems no matter who you are. You are a person FIRST and I’m a people lover. However, my personal problem as a ‘person’ is that I’m a people pleaser. I’ve got problems too but my problems are not ‘black’ problems. They are ‘people’ problems.
- I really believe that when you identify with the color of your skin too much it becomes a problem. I’m all for being proud of yourself but too much identifying with color or sexual preference can cause you to be begging for acceptance which breeds insecurity. Insecurity breeds animosity which breeds confusion which breeds division rather than unity.
‘Identity’ problems exist between the LGBTQ’s community and people who try to understand too:
2. When you identify with the color of your skin too much, you can be blinded by the valuable lessons you can learn as a ‘person’. It’s not only about the color of your skin, the content of your character is a lot more important.
I wrote a story about that here:
Black History Month Vol. 1
More from me!
Black History Month Vol. 2
Thank you for reading my perspectives. This is my first story on Illumination-Curated. I plan to post more to this diverse and inclusive publication.
