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What Happened to My Sex Life?!
Maybe some of you can relate…
Another Night of Deep Thoughts…
You know, if you are an adult and want to go to pound town with a stranger, go for it. But for some reason, meaningless sex makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I’ve never really been a hookup or one-night-stand type of gal, but holy moly, I can no longer fathom jumping in the sheets with a stranger. I don’t have it in me (pun intended)!
I thought about this tonight, as this guy has been trying his hardest (pun intended) to get me in his sheets. I never felt this repulsed by sex before, so I sat here tonight and pondered. What the hell happened? I attribute my newfound disgust of meaningless sex to three reasons:
1. Covid
Perhaps the pandemic is responsible. Single people were pretty screwed (no pun intended) during the lockdown. While everyone was complaining about children out of school and married people arguing, single people were stuck inside (alone), talking to ourselves, drinking wine at 9 am, and using sex toys. During that time, everyone had coodies, so rando sexing was kinda off the table. Could the pandemic be the reason for my sexless life?
2. Spirituality
Maybe I am turned off by empty sex because of spirituality. Now that I have healed, been on a self-love journey, and found myself, I no longer desire for randos to enter this temple. If the guy (or girl) isn’t spiritual, doesn’t share my vibrational energy, or isn’t vegetarian — I have little or no interest. I am now that spiritual crazy girl, and I have no idea when this happened!
I literally cannot control the way I am feeling. If Matthew McConaughey walked up and said, “Heyy girl, gimme those goodies (in that sexy ass country voice)!” I would still say no, if he isn’t vibing with me spiritually. It’s like I’m possessed or something. My heart desires it, but my lady parts and mind are working as a sex repellent (so bizarre, since when are they even friends?!)
I think the Universe has put my ass on “all rights reserved.” I just didn’t get the memo….
3. Too Much Planning
Perhaps I no longer want to engage in sexual activity with people I hardly know because of too many logistics. Think about it. A girl meets a guy at a bar, has a little chemistry, and decides to take it to fourth base. Now, you have a lot of decisions to make; whose place, who’s driving, what time, etc. You arrive at his apartment — lights on or off, foreplay or nah, sleepover or leave? It’s too much planning and thinking when you hook up with John Doe. At 37, if I take my clothes off, I’m staying the night. Ain’t nobody got time for all that planning!
4. (Bonus Reason)
Hooking up with randos is awkward. You arrive to your hookup’s place; now you have to get butt ass naked in front of a stranger. He probably isn’t going to “please” you because he doesn’t know you. So, he will enter, then exit your body (all of 25 seconds) and ask you to leave. That is both awkward and degrading. And you don’t even know his last name…
Final Thoughts
So age, logistics, the recent pandemic, and spirituality all play a part in my sexless life. I’m actually grateful to the Universe for putting my ass on reserve because, like many, sex was merely a drug to numb the pain of my existence. Now I know who I am, so I no longer need empty sex or other intoxicants to make me feel.
Sex is not a tool for pain and heartbreak; it is a beautiful gift from the Universe. And if performed with the right person and intentions, it can be a mind-blowing, magical experience. Unfortunately, we have abused and misused sex tremendously. The gift of sex should be honored, cherished, and respected. Men and women must find themselves to experience the true beauty of lovemaking.
Ari Love — **All Rights Reserved**
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© Ari Love, 2022