ONOMATOPOETIC HUMOR
What Does Your Fox…Umm, Pet Say?
A children’s onomato-PEE-AHHHHH song parody
How many of Doc Funny’s “patients” are kids? Or kids at heart? We’ll see. Click here if you need a refresher on what “The Fox” really says or how to kinda follow the tune. Good luck with that. I had to keep playing it over and over as I wrote.
Dog goes “hmph” Cow goes “moo” Cat goes “grrr” And mouse goes “yoikes” — That poor mouse Dad says “sooo, What did Timmy bring home now? It’s a slug!” We go “yuck” And the duck goes “quack ack aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!”
But there’s one sound That all kids know: It’s what their pet says!
OK, go ahead and sing the four onomatopoetic verses that substitute for a chorus here. I challenge you. Or make your pets’ sound effects until you’re out of breath or sick and tired of it. If you have no pets, random animal sounds will do. Bonus points if listeners giggle, guffaw, or go “grrrrphhhh.”
It’s what your pet says!
Big wide eyes Fuzzy bod New puppy Is digging holes Tiny paws Pet store till big ka-ching! when Dad paid bill
Pup’s fur is soft So beautiful Little devil in disguise But if you meet A kind equine Will you communicate in Si-i-i-i-ign? Si-i-i-i-ign? Si-i-i-i-ign? How will you talk to that E-qui-i-i-ine? E-qui-i-i-ine? E-qui-i-i-ine?
What does your pet say?
Hmm…this time, please imitate your pets and children at dinnertime or while they’re begging for food. I think they very well might scream schlurpppp or say “mmmmm” with gusto — waaay less complicated than the real “chorus.” If you have no pets or children, be creative. Or, of course, you could channel your inner fox and sing the first part here. Then:
“A-oo-oo-oo-ooo! Whoo-oo-oo-ooosh!” What does your pet say?
The secret of a pup Ancient murmurings Somewhere here in the house Egad! you’re pooping! Dad bought a crate Will we ever learn? You’ll always be a mystery Why do you stay?
You’re my guardian puppy Banished to the clink An a-ma-zing howl (Wa-wa-way-do, wub-wid-bid-dum-way-do, wa-wa-way-do) Coming from your crate (bay-budabud-dum-bam) You want to (mama-dum-day-do) you want to, you want to go! (Abay-ba-da bum-bum bay-do)
Our older dog, Dolph, really does go “hmph” along with other grumpy old man noises. I do love sound effects, especially SPLAT!
This story’s in response to Doctor Funny’s Onomatopoetic Prompt to write something using these words: hmph, sooo, clink, hmm…, grrr (growl), SPLAT, mmmmm, whoosh, ka-ching!, onomato-PEE-AHHHHH, murmur, egad, guffaw, schlurpppp, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!, moo, yoikes!, giggle, grrrrphhhh, zing. Quite a challenge.
Thanks for reading! You’ll find my other song parodies here.
If your inner child enjoyed my wayward fox tale, you may like this:
And if you’re still in the mood for “The Fox,” check out this funny piece by Emily Kingsley!
Pinging folks who commented on or responded to Michael Burg, MD’s¹ prompt — will edit to include anyone I missed, upon request; just tag me or comment: Susan Foster (story here), Will Hull (story here), Jupiter Grant, Bhavna Narula (story here), Ann Marie Steele, Jeanette C. Espinoza, kurt gasbarra, Toya Qualls-Barnette, Skye Mo'ipulelehua Kahoali'i, Lucy Dan, ScienceDuuude (story here), K.B. Hubbard, Samantha Drobac, Brenda Mahler, Tina L. Smith, Maude Pagan, Christopher Robin, Jennifer McDougall, Jayrow, Terry Mansfield, Alan Asnen, Kasey Sparks, Kerstin Krause
¹ Michael’s story in response to the prompt is here.
