avatarEmma Holiday

Summary

The content discusses the personal journey and struggles of a transgender individual seeking validation and peace with their gender identity amidst societal and personal challenges.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's experience with gender identity, detailing the internal conflict between their female brain and male body that has led to a quest for validation. The author describes the difficulty of reconciling societal expectations with their own sense of self, and the emotional turmoil that comes with gender dysphoria. They address the criticism from some feminists who view transwomen as men misrepresenting womanhood, while also explaining the transgender perspective of needing to embrace clear female elements to counteract years of societal conditioning under testosterone. The journey to self-acceptance involves not only surgical and social changes but also the mental battle to see oneself truly reflected in the mirror.

Opinions

  • The author expresses the personal struggle with gender dysphoria, which is described as a relentless force that does not allow for mental rest.
  • There is a recognition of the societal pressures and expectations placed on individuals based on their assigned gender at birth.
  • The author refutes the notion that transwomen are merely men in dresses, emphasizing that the transition is a deep and authentic reflection of their true gender identity.
  • The article conveys the need for transgender individuals to externalize their gender identity in extreme ways initially to achieve internal gender stability.
  • The author highlights the importance of validation, not just from society but also from oneself, in accepting and embracing their gender identity.
  • The piece suggests that transgender individuals may need to go through a process of purging the male self-image imposed since birth to fully embrace their femininity.
  • The author criticizes the perception that transwomen reflect a man's perception of femininity, arguing that it is an attempt to reflect the female image that aligns with their internal gender identity.

What do I need for validation?

Three years ago I entered the confusing world of gender. It was a place four years ago that didn’t exist in my world. I lived my entire life governed by binary gender rules.

… and then suddenly my world collapsed. I discovered I wasn’t binary, I was transgender.

My female brain and my male body have been tearing me apart. I have been struggling between the two warring camps. “Can I stay a guy” versus “Do I need to be a woman?” They are constant arguments that have haunted my waking hours for over two years now. I have listed the pluses and minuses of each multiple times. I have sought out external female validation through a dozen makeovers and each time I try to balance myself out doing something macho to prove I am a tough enough male. I cry more and get angry easier. It is a constant struggle.

I have read a lot of angry opinions from women, particularly feminists, that transwomen are men representing the worst of society’s perception of what a woman is. The worst I have read is that transwomen are only men in dresses and that they reflect a man’s perception of femininity.

That may be very true or it could be true that it is an attempt to simply reflect the female image that will best purge the male self image that was forced on them from the moment they were born. We were expected to show no fear, be aggressive, act dismissive and feel no pain. Everything hard and nothing soft, never give in and never surrender.

Transwomen have huge obstacles to over-come in order to be at peace. Gender dysphoria (GD) does not give a transperson any rest. The true gender (the one wired in utero in the brain), continues to grow in dominance over the one based one’s physical sex organs. It creates a need for validation. To accept being transgender requires more proof than faith alone to accept the changes that are required, the surgical change and the social change.

It requires a powerful counter force to rid the mind, heart and soul of decades of testosterone poisoning. We need to embrace non-androgynous, clearly female elements in order to have a solid foundation for our femininity to grow. We need extreme externalization in the beginning in order to finally achieve our own gender stability.

So, what do I need for validation?

I need to see “me” finally, not a guy trying to look like me. I need to look in the mirror and see the absolute validation of my gender and my person. I don’t want to see a sham.

In the end I need to accept that who I see in the mirror is… me.

Emma Holiday

Please also read:

Transgender
Justice
LGBTQ
Humanity
Society
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