We’ve All Let Shallow Beliefs Keep Us Single
The lessons to help you quit friend-zoning the right ones
A healthy relationship is a state of mind.
Soulmates are one in a billion. You can master finding the right partners for yourself.
People stress the beauty of having one sexy companion for a lifetime.
But there is also bliss when you can let yourself love and trust a new partner after a breakup.
#1. I’ve got to be the best looking to deserve love.
Beauty is shiny. It requires soulless maintenance. Character is a secret menu no one advertised. It needs soulful change to gain, and only a peaceful mindset notices it.
Quit seeing the best partners as the best dressed, wealthy, and fit humans. You find the best humans when you look for humor, loyalty, consistency, respect, and purpose.
#2. Peace is a set-up for unexpected destruction.
How many times have you thought, “Things are going too well? Something bad might happen.”?
Your body knows when you are safe. You don’t feel the need to check your partner’s phone. Or consider discouraging them from talking to other women. You don’t sit up at night wondering where they are or who they might be doing.
If you feel at peace, entertain the state of mind. You don’t have to create problems or test your partner’s loyalty. Choose to enjoy the calm. Avoid repeating breakup cycles because you aren’t familiar with healthy love.
#3. The goal is to share your life’s work.
Your growth is forever your responsibility.
Sometimes the honeymoon period ends fast, not because you fight plenty. But because you stop growing and minding your independence.
Instead, you become focused on becoming one with your other half. Your new partner becomes annoyed at your blossoming need for interdependence. It is not long before you are single again.
#4. Skin contact is only for babies.
Most people will say sex is essential in relationships. That’s until they grow to value their partner’s role in their lives more. There is no ideal sex frequency. It’s subjective. But you can compare yourself to others:
Average adult: 54 times annually (around once per week)
Average in 20s: 80 times annually
Average in 60s: 20 times annually
Many women force themselves to have sexy times, thinking it is the only way to keep a man happy. They rather stay single because bedroom play did nothing for them.
But what’s even more essential? Skin-to-skin contact. Sex releases oxytocin. But hugs of 20 seconds or more also release oxytocin. A study even suggested you need eight hugs per day.
#5. I have a type.
You limit yourself by confining your range to one group of men or women.
Do you keep dating your type, and things end badly every time? Surprise yourself. Head into a relationship with different intentions or entertain someone you never saw yourself with before.
#6. Driving people away is protection.
Hurt people hurt people. But that coping strategy is a choice. It is the worse reason to lash out at everyone who crosses your path.
I would not recommend using this approach to encourage people to be careful with you. This behavior is like chemotherapy. You drive good and bad people out of your life.
Instead, teach yourself how to accept love, compliments, and kindness. Learn which people are the right ones to have in your life. So you don’t push everyone away.
Thank you for reading this post.
© Annie Wegner 2022-Present.
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