Undeniable Reality Betrayed Wives Aren’t Accepting That Can Save Their Marriage

Cheating exists when there is a crack in the relationship.

If you have been reading my stories, you will notice I am all about fairness and unbiased with gender and relationship issues. I have had some people email me asking why I choose to date married men? Why not go for single men?

The truth is married men are more mature and provide a secured source of funding. In my years of dating older men, I’ve noticed a pattern of emotional freedom I don’t get from single guys.

We don’t argue over petty shit. If there is an issue, we can sit down, talk it out like adults.

The same happens with dating married men. Because I’m not his wife or mother, I’m not answerable to him, nor is it my responsibility to put up with his bad habits.

I don’t have to be possessive or jealous because I know he isn’t mine for keeps.

Women are wired to need more resources. Since there is always a shortage of resources- financially, physically, and emotionally, women instinctively recede to seek more resources from men.

Surely, single men can meet these demands; unfortunately, those with high values are already taken or married.

This leaves unpartnered women with two choices; to select a mate from the pool of low standard men who come with baggage or try to steal someone who is already taken.

Regardless, even if it is someone as sexy as Jennifer Lawrence, or the simple girl next door who has bad intentions with your husband, an emotionally connected and passionate relationship will flourish and remain strong despite threats from outside.

If a third party can enter the relationship bubble and destroy it, then your relationship was already weak begin with.

You might not be someone who worries about someone stealing your husband, but if you have the thought that other women are always a threat to your relationship, these three signs may be the reason why your marriage is failing.

Wrongful choice of partner

The biggest mistake people make when choosing a life partner is thinking love overcomes their fears.

This is why most people pick a partner who can shield them from their fears.

Childhood trauma and fear of being alone are the two most significant factors that play into our fears when choosing a spouse.

If you were abused as a child, you would feel safer and more loved with an abusive partner. Things like gaslighting, traumatic bonding, and codependency will feel natural to you.

If your spouse is a narcissist, he will only care about himself and have no room for you.

Of course, when he’s done with you, he’s ready to move on to the next shiny object — a new woman who could be more exciting and reliable for his manipulative nature.

For a true narcissist, your needs and emotions have basically no meaning in his life.

A narcissist has no place for you or your needs unless your emotions are serving their manipulative purposes.

This does not mean that every husband who has lost his way is a true narcissist. Sometimes we are quick to draw a conclusion and assume the worst when we hear the word narcissist.

But if he’s genuinely narcissistic, that says a lot about you. It could mean that you have a past trauma that you need to heal. Women and men with traumatic bonding issues can make poor relationship decisions.

If you’ve had an abusive relationship or are looking for abusive partners in the past, it’s easy for you to subconsciously ignore the signs that your husband is a narcissist.

Misplaced emotional responsibility

Many men cheat and abandon their wives because they cannot take responsibility for themselves and their decisions — the feelings and happiness of their partner.

I’m not talking about caring about your husband’s happiness as we see in abusive relationships where codependent or narcissists are blamed for neglecting partner happiness.

I am referring to being responsible for your partner’s happiness by maintaining a high standard for yourself.

Instead of taking responsibility for your husband’s emotional needs from a fear-based perspective, so you don’t lose him, take care of your emotional well-being by focusing on the dreams and aspirations you had before prior to the marriage.

By improving your personal values, your man will be motivated to improve his values ​​to meet your needs.

Loss of emotional attraction and connection

It must not be that your husband doesn’t feel as emotionally attracted or emotionally connected to you as he used to be. It could be that you don’t feel it for him.

Maybe he has an avoidant attachment style but still wants an inner connection.

However, people who have an avoidant attachment style lack the awareness or skills to bond deeply, which can lead to marriage breakdown.

Due to various emotional abandonment issues, he may abandon himself and his wife, hoping to fulfill his dream of childhood love and recognition of his parents.

Perhaps he would like to fill those childhood gaps with a new woman who seems to promise him admiration, appreciation, crazy sex, connection, acceptance, and love.

But when there is a strong emotional attraction and a strong connection between a man and his wife, they will be deeply in love to succumb to external threats.

The problem is, many women fear that the seemingly more attractive woman will have an opportunity to take her husband.

They become jealous, exhibit controlling behaviors, and even worse, they start to hurt themselves.

When a man has endured his abusive wife enough — from passive aggression to constant blame to gaslighting — he will try to break the relationship.

I’m not saying that women should be held responsible for not being valuable to their husbands, but these different frameworks can lead to serious emotional strain in relationships.

In other words, sustaining a marriage depends on the quality of the marriage or relationship, as well as the quality of your own character and the quality of the man you have chosen.

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