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wanted to say that. God, it feels really good.</p><p id="09ea">Don’t do anything stupid. <i>(I’m kidding. People say this to me all the time.)</i></p><p id="fe85">I'm going in. If I’m not back in six minutes, it means I’m dead or I don’t ever want to come back.</p><p id="3b74">Is there a problem, officer? I don’t have my license. But I have cancer.</p><p id="775e">There’s a storm coming. <i>(Nobody ever said this even when Hurricane Katrina hit.)</i></p><p id="bbb8">That’s right! You better run, schmohawk!</p><p id="5dab">It’s not what it looks like. I can explain. She was not giving me a blowjob.</p><p id="6540">You look so beautiful. Can I kiss you? Did I just say that out loud?</p><p id="84a4">I have a bad feeling about this. <i>(I’m kidding. I say this about everything all the time.)</i></p><p id="9660">I’m going to save the world from zombies. I know exactly what to do. I’m going to science the shit out of this.</p><p id="ea56">Is there a problem, officer? She was not giving me a blowjob.</p><p id="b78d">You look so beautiful. Shut the fuck up and kiss me! Did I just say that out loud?</p><p id="208c">Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a> and <a href="https://medium.com/@srini-here">Srini</a></p><p id="f115"><b><i>Falling in love with Srini? Read these to find out if he’s thinking what you think he’s thinking:</i></b></p><div id="0066" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-to-expect-when-you-are-expecting-your-first-baby-97780210f892"> <div> <div> <h2>What to Expect When You Are Expecting Your First Baby</h2> <div><h3>You shall not be allowed to scream and/or cry</h3></div>

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            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <h2>The Girl of My Dreams</h2>
            <div><h3>My dream girl would force me to watch porn every night</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <h2>The Most Embarrassing Ways Girls Have Ghosted Me</h2>
            <div><h3>‘It’s literally impossible to ghost me’</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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    </div><figure id="a99e"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*eZespitKXDNGSypdFVOPtA.png"><figcaption>Brand art courtesy of <a href="https://davidtoddmccarty.medium.com/">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

IT’S SHOWTIME, GIRLS!

TV Show Dialogue That Nobody Has Ever Actually Used in Real Life

Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?

Photo by Konstantin Mishchenko from Pexels

Did you have sex with her last night? How was she? Please tell me there’s going to be a second date.

I was born ready, schmohawk!

You can’t break up with your girlfriend. She has cancer.

Did YOU have sex with her last night?

Don’t you die on me! Don’t you dare! If you die, I’ll die, too.

There’s no way you had sex with that hot chick. Get the hell outta here!

I’m going to kill him this weekend.

Your girlfriend can’t break up with you. You have cancer.

Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?

Did I have sex with you last night? How was I? Please tell me there’s going to be a second date.

“I was born ready” is my middle name, schmohawk!

Did you have sex with me last night?

Tell my family I love them. Tell my wife not to cheat on me and I’ll be watching her like a ball boy on a tennis court.

I have always wanted to say that. God, it feels really good.

Am I thinking what you think I’m thinking?

It's showtime, girls!

Do you want to have sex with me tonight? I have always wanted to say that. God, it feels really good.

Don’t do anything stupid. (I’m kidding. People say this to me all the time.)

I'm going in. If I’m not back in six minutes, it means I’m dead or I don’t ever want to come back.

Is there a problem, officer? I don’t have my license. But I have cancer.

There’s a storm coming. (Nobody ever said this even when Hurricane Katrina hit.)

That’s right! You better run, schmohawk!

It’s not what it looks like. I can explain. She was not giving me a blowjob.

You look so beautiful. Can I kiss you? Did I just say that out loud?

I have a bad feeling about this. (I’m kidding. I say this about everything all the time.)

I’m going to save the world from zombies. I know exactly what to do. I’m going to science the shit out of this.

Is there a problem, officer? She was not giving me a blowjob.

You look so beautiful. Shut the fuck up and kiss me! Did I just say that out loud?

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and Srini

Falling in love with Srini? Read these to find out if he’s thinking what you think he’s thinking:

Brand art courtesy of David Todd McCarty
Satire
Humor
Culture
Creativity
Television
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