DATING TRICKS AND TREATS

8 Halloween Icebreakers for Tinder

I guarantee¹ your match will answer

Tinder can be hard.

Especially if you have a creepy sense of humor like me. Also, if you look like a zombie wearing a hat, your chances of matching are so low it doesn’t make sense to install the app.

Unless it’s Halloween.

Zombie people with a creepy sense of humor — October is YOUR month!

Here are seven icebreakers successfully tried and tested in the field. Send any of these, and I guarantee¹ that you won’t get ghosted by your match.

Reply to this message if you dare

An all-around classic Halloween, “reply if you dare,” is easily followed up by:

• Enter apartment #3C, 2860 Austin Avenue, at 7:30 PM tomorrow, if you dare.
• Take off your clothes if you dare.
• Put your hands in my knickers if you dare.

Swipe, match, and be scary!

It elicits two types of response.

• Fun people will send you something scary like a picture of a hat-wearing zombie covered in pumpkin spice.
• Boring people will reply with a boring message and unmatch you. Yawn, does it even matter?

Trick or Treat?

Agreed, it’s not original, but it works — 100% reply rate, guaranteed¹.

So why wouldn’t you use it?

It’s another easy follow-up icebreaker, by the way. Here are the classical replies depending on your match’s choice:

• Treat: You win a date with me.
• Trick: Give me your number, and I will send you one of the Jeffrey Dahmer tapes covered in pumpkin spice.

Halloween is a real treat. You know what else is a real treat?

Corny, but it’s Halloween.

Who wouldn’t reply, “you are!”? I know Jeffrey Dahmer’s fans would!

I’m the ghost of Halloween. If you don’t reply to this message, I’ll haunt your Tinder profile forever.

Creepy but funny. Right?

I know I wouldn’t take the risk.” Even if I don’t plan on being on here for much longer.

Would you like to see my big pumpkin(s)?

In pickup artist slang, that’s what we call a double entendre. Using pumpkin(s) during Halloween is an elegant way of letting your match know you’d like to exchange dick and boob pics.

But — and that’s the twist, you will follow up this message with a picture of a big gourd.

Imagine their awe at your cleverness. The date is almost guaranteed¹.

“There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand.” Will you help me?

Alternative and more direct option: “there is something at work in my briefs which I do not understand. Will you help me?”

It’s not subtle, but it’s still a quote from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, so you should be excused.

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” Is it your reply?

Quoting Shakespeare is always a safe way to start a convo.

Unless you change it to, “by the pricking of my [redacted], something sexy this way comes. Is it you?”

It’s risky, but if it works, it works.

¹ Standard Smillew Guarantee terms apply: “the guarantee covers absolutely nothing and was valid until yesterday.”

Uvebruce is the sponsor of your article today. His comment on a recent story made me want to share these Halloween killer icebreakers.

For Uvebruce’s perspective:

For Jennifer McDougall’s perspective:

Still here? I don’t know what to say. Maybe this?