Today’s My Wedding Anniversary What Does a Divorced Girl Do on This Day?

Do I ignore it, mourn it, celebrate it, or reinvent it?

When I was first married I got to know a neighbor in my townhouse community. She was a beautiful redhead with a lot of Moxie. She had moved several states away after her husband set his sights on another woman.

She was a strong woman but I sensed a bit of resentment.

She was entitled.

After all, her husband blindsided her with a divorce. She thought they were happy. They were even in business together. They renovated properties and re-sold them. In that respect, they were kind of ahead of the HGTV renovation couple era.

I’ll never forget the story she told me.

The day this gorgeous woman packed up her marital house she left something behind for her ex-husband. She placed the items in the foyer where he would be sure to see them.

A pair of work boots stuffed with lingerie and a note that read, “Good luck finding a woman that does both of these things so well.”

I loved her clever parting gifts.

It was some badass self-respect with a dose of screw you.

I thought of my old neighbor today.

I doubt she even remembers her anniversary all these years later. Who am I kidding? It’s hard not to remember a day filled with such joy and promise that morphed into a regrettable and now wannabe forgettable anniversary.

I’m a few years out of my divorce.

During my overly long and abusive divorce, I didn’t always remember my anniversary. I was too sleep-deprived and distracted to think straight. I’m not sure I remembered it in the direct aftermath of my divorce either.

But the dust is settling.

And today, there is no denying the hopes of a 24 year old girl.

I’m surprised at the nostalgia I feel.

I’m even more surprised that I’m wondering what I should do on this day. Do I ignore it, mourn it, celebrate it, or reinvent it? Personally, I wish I hadn’t even remembered it.

Do I treat it as any other day?

Do I go to a bar and toast my liberation?

Do I relax by the pool to indulge my glorious freedom?

Do I re-invent and re-name it my individual resurrection day?

Do I jump back on a dating app?

Do I throw a party?

Do I go to war with my old wedding dress and toss it? Oops already did that.

I’m definitely not going to mourn my anniversary.

That much I do know.

I might be waveringly sentimental but I’m not stupid.

I can’t judge the people who do grieve their wedding anniversary because I’ve already been there and done that. I’ve spent the time mourning the true loss that accompanies divorce.

That’s a brutally long journey that I’m happy to have behind me.

I don’t miss my ex-husband.

That’s a huge relief. If anything, I thank God he showed me who he was during our divorce because during our marriage I had horse-size blinders on.

As our marriage counselor once said, “Colleen your husband keeps showing you who he is but you don’t want to believe him.”

Some people are happily married.

I’m happily divorced.

Because I wasn’t happily married.

That again, makes me think of my beautiful redheaded neighbor. I remember feeling sad for her. I knew it was a struggle to be on her own and be a single mother.

But I don’t want anyone to feel sad for me.

I’m much happier as a divorced woman than I was as a miserable wife.

It’s luxurious to no longer be controlled.

Come to think of it, maybe I don’t have to worry about my wedding anniversary at all. My husband never made it a priority. It was never a big deal to him.

I actually turned that around as the years went on.

It was genius now that I think about it.

I would rent a limo as our anniversary present to one another and invite friends. We would go out for a great day or dinner and somewhere after that. My husband loved it because he was uber-social. I loved it because I was tired of getting my feelings hurt on our anniversary.

Our friends loved it because we invited them for a limo ride.

Come to think of it, my anniversary solution is telling.

In healthy marriages, people want to celebrate together.

I had to invite a crowd to make my husband find the day worthy.

Enough said.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do today. I might go to the pool and do some day drinking. A ‘Darty’ is always fun. I might jump on that dating app and do a little man shopping.

I’m happily divorced.

I can do whatever I want.