Things I Wish I Knew Before Moving to Another Country

It impacts your emotional, financial, social, and mental stability.

Ever since I was in high school, I aspired to move to a foreign country. The most favored destinations abroad for Indians at that time were Canada and Australia. For years I toyed with the idea but never took action. I graduated, completed my post-graduation, got a stable job, and married. Years went by, but the thought never left me. In February 2019, my husband and I finally decided to take the plunge. After much research, we found Canada best suited to our personal and professional interests. We applied for Permanent Residency, and in September 2020, we packed our life in India and moved abroad.

I expected it to be easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Alas, it wasn’t. Moving in the middle of the Pandemic added fuel to the fire. Before moving, both my husband and I were in stable jobs back home. With 17 years of professional experience between us, we were both earning well for a nuclear family. We had achieved immense professional growth and were on the trajectory for finer things in life. Furthermore, we had a support system comprising childhood friends, family, and amazing colleagues. All of which had been accumulated wealth over 30 years of our life spans. While subconsciously aware that we would have to start from scratch, we chose to be realistically ignorant.

Here are the top 5 things I wish I knew before moving to another country.

It is scary.

While Canada was meant to be our future, we did not have family support here as we did back in India. We did have a few friends who had migrated a couple of years before us (god bless them for their support), but it wasn’t the same. Upon landing in Canada, we had to sort out housing, jobs as well as social circle. It is not an easy feat!

Neither of us came from privileged backgrounds; we started our journey in a basement apartment and joined minimum wage jobs at a Call Centre. A far cry from the managerial positions we held in India. Our life predominantly entailed going to work in public transport, 1–9 pm, braving the Canadian winters within our first few months here. Life became monotonous, with the only relief being the morning and evening video calls we’d do with family and friends back home. We feared for our futures, if and when would we get jobs stable enough to move to a condo apartment. Thoughts like, “What if we don’t get jobs in our domain?”, “What if we can’t afford to move out of the basement?”, “What if we can’t build a community, as we had in India?”; left us scared.

It is lonely.

When moving abroad, it is pertinent to have a social circle that will have your back through thick and thin. Even though we had friends here, it felt wrong on our part to depend on them overly. While we wanted to move out of the basement, catch up with people beyond the two of us, we were cognizant of the fact that our friends had established lives of their own.

Winters made it even more difficult. Living in a basement during peak snow season, with just two 1-foot by 1-foot windows, made life depressing. Additionally, foreign countries do not have the sense of camaraderie as we do in South Asian countries. Here, neighbors would not go out of their way to wish you good morning or even pass a smile. Everybody went about their business without a care of the other person. That is the rule of the land; however, we were yet to adapt to these rules. We missed our family so much, heck we even missed the sounds of honking on the roads! To make matters worse, in December, Canada went into a lockdown, and we were asked to work from home (which continues), and the little joy of meeting people at work was also snatched away.

It is expensive.

Canada is an expensive country! The taxes here are absolutely crazy. Going to buy a cucumber would cost you 1.50 CAD plus taxes; Essentially being around 2.30 CAD — one piece of cucumber. Housing is relentless; a one-bedroom condo unit of 599 square feet could cost anything between 1500 to 2000 CAD depending on the locality.

Working minimum wage jobs for the first five months, each purchase made, each take-out ordered, each grocery spree had to be accounted for to refrain from going over the allowed budget. For someone like me, who lives with the motto of YOLO (you only live once), this was not an easy feat. Life in India comprised weekly outings with friends and family, weekday drinks and dinner with office bestie (Hi Ananya Dube), and unplanned shopping sprees at the mall. Personally, it was a struggle to stay above water and not drown in expenses by living hand to mouth for the first few months.

It is frustrating.

Each day started with its own challenges, and thoughts of a better tomorrow would continuously play hoops in our brains. Finding a job in our field was not easy. My husband came from a Sales and BD background, where knowledge and network in the domestic market are key. While I was blessed to have found an opportunity proactively, he would stay up nights applying for over 50 jobs per day after matching his resume to the Canadian ATS system.

Once we got jobs in our respective fields, the struggle began with finding affordable housing above ground level. Rents were skyrocketing, and out of our reach, most landlords marked for utilities and maintenance above the rent. Essentially a condo marked for 1600 CAD would cost us 1900+. After ten months, when we finally found a condo we could afford, the journey towards a car began. It’s been over 14 months since we moved, and we still can not afford a car. Hopefully, April 2022 is when that miracle will happen. Then the journey to assimilating enough for a down-payment would begin. It is unending. It is irritating. After every win, there is the next trough to go through. It is daunting and frustrating; it makes us question, was this all worth it?

It is straining.

All of the above reasons and more cause mental stress. And if you’re living with your spouse, you tend to take it out on one another. The only person in the other country who loves you and cares for you becomes your friend, family, and therapist. It can cause a strain not only on one’s mental state but also on one’s relationship. However, there is no way out; If you keep everything bubbled within, that would only create further chaos.

Having said all of that, it does get better. With each accomplishment made, you feel like you’re one inch closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. So my dear reader, whether it is you who is contemplating the move or someone else you know, just let them know — it gets better. This is what one can do to make the transition easier:

• In-depth research about the country you’re moving to. Research about the lifestyle, the job market, the housing situation, the financial implications.
• Understand your finances. Practice restrain even before you make the move, it will help.
• Join social media support groups. Trust me they help! A virtual community that will answer your questions, applaud your successes and ensure you stay on track.
• Be prepared to work minimum wage (unless you’re blessed with good financially backing). There is no shame in working small jobs, in fact, the chances of getting another job without any local job experience are bleak!
• Embrace being alone; you are your best friend. Take steps to befriend locals and ex-pats, but be your friend first. Take time to watch a movie, grab a coffee, or even get a beer.
• Last but not least. Have faith.

Xo, Aakriti

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Below is a selection of my writings, that you might enjoy as well. Happy reading!

Love, Aakriti.