They Want to Publish My Book!

What exactly is vanity publishing?

Today I got a letter from Shirley. She informed me my book, Lower, is terrific and Pegasus Publishing would love to print and promote it!

Then I read further because reading is one of my superpowers. My book is a young adult novel (YAL) and it’s my first. While I’m no John Green, I think it’s a pretty good first effort and at the very least, totally free of typos and misspellings.

Shirley told me that for a fee — I looked it up, and it’s 2400 pounds, which translates into $3,143 American dollars, the publishers would proof the manuscript and promote it internationally.

The author has to pay because this “hybrid” form of publishing requires both parties to contribute.

I guess writing 60,000 entertaining words isn’t enough of a contribution.

Shirley was quick to point out that what they do at Pegasus Publishing (not to be confused with Pegasus Books) isn’t “vanity publishing.”

Doth she protests too much?

It was time to dig a little deeper.

Amazon is Looking Svelte and Sexy

I’ve been mulling over publishing my little YAL on Amazon’s Kindle Vella, a platform to serialize any story but one that works particularly well with a teen audience, or adults who like reading YALs. Throw on some eye-catching cover art and my hero, Cole, will become instantly popular!

I’ve put off going the Vella route out of the vague hope that some publisher would see I’ve written a solid story, now that shady Pegasus has now responded — my hope is dashed.

I doubt an agent would touch me, but perhaps I should search for one.

Kindle Vella isn’t hard to use, and I keep hearing the platform will take off soon like Blue Origins. Maybe Vella is what Gen Z and Gen Tech are using for their YAL needs?

I Should Have Written About Teen Vampires

My story is old as the hills: a worried foster teen runs away with the hope of reuniting with his younger brother. There isn’t a twist, except in the first act when he realizes two drug dealers want him dead.

He doesn’t encounter Nosferatu in the big city, nor discover he is a werewolf once he drinks his first Boba tea.

On my next attempt, I’ll mix in some fantasy. Why not? I’ll probably self-publish anyway.

What was enticing about Pegasus, in their initial email telling me they’d accepted my manuscript — which they only do in 10% of cases!! — was their promise that they would promote my book through social media, events, and international companies.

I have no idea how to promote Lower. Aside from Facebook, LinkedIn, and Medium, I‘m more knowledgeable about harvesting burl wood or selling farm equipment at an auction.

I have a friend who wrote Border Girl and it’s darn good. She self-published on Amazon and asks friends for reads and reviews. She’s smarter than me, so I don’t feel optimistic about the self-pub path.

Scumbags Who Prey on Writer’s Dreams

Long ago I sent in a poem to be published, based on a magazine ad asking for submissions. I guess you could say I was young and green, but I sure felt special when they told me my poem was plucked from obscurity to be published! All I needed to do was buy their anthology of poetry.

I did buy the book, and there was my poem. It was full of typos and poorly formatted, nothing like what I’d sent it in. And the anthology wasn’t cheap.

My little 24-year-old heart was crushed.

They had preyed on my naive dreams of becoming a paid poet.

In retrospect, I was more clueless than your average aspiring writer.

Yet, it seems as if the suspiciously named Pegasus (so similar to the other Pegasus) might not be a winged horse after all. It’s looking a lot more like a cow in India: festooned with ribbons and colorful paints, and saved from the abattoir, but hardly a racehorse.

I’m still out here, looking for a happy publishing compromise. Maybe a miniature horse? I’d settle for a tired pony who spent her best days schlepping screaming children at birthday parties.

But I will not, as gods are my witnesses, stoop to paying 3 grand to get my book published.

Since joining Medium in March 2019, I’ve learned so much about humor writing and penning readable stories — leading to nearly 7K followers and more laughter. Other funny writers also helped me grow. If you are not a member, sign up by clicking the link below. For just $5 a month you’ll find a lot of laughs. To get my stories in your inbox, click here.