These 5 Life Changes Will Help You Overcome Self-Doubt

Can you live with doubt and thrive?

What if I mess up?

Who am I to write a book?

Will I make a fool of myself? What will people say?

Chances are you have battled that little voice in your head more than once. Can you silence it? You can’t. But you can learn to accept it and choose not to listen.

Self-doubt is a universal human experience.

I have witnessed many people forsake their dreams because of actually believing that little voice in their heads.

We don’t take chances. We don’t send that resume. We don’t ask for a pay rise. We stay in the known because even if uncomfortable, it feels less frightening than the unknown.

For fear of failure, we stop trying. And not trying is worse than dying. Because it means you are already dead.

The only failure is not trying.

— Robin S. Sharma

How can we live and thrive with self-doubt?

Give Yourself Permission to Be Imperfect.

Perfectionism is heavily romanticized in the era of social media. It fuels our fears. Those fears cause self-doubt.

Perfectionism gives birth to unattainable standards of living. It creates an unhealthy image of who you should be. It gives you nothing but anxiety and sabotages your success.

As a kid, you learnt how to walk through falling. You learn how to drive a car by taking lessons.

You cannot get good at life by avoiding failures and giving in to perfectionism. You have to start, stumble, fail and start over again.

Failure is an asset — start seeing it as wisdom and rejections as redirections. Use what you learn from failures to counter discomfort and move forward.

When you start seeing failure as an opportunity, several things happen:

• you stop caring what people think,
• you enjoy life as if you were a kid again,
• you learn new skills,
• you are open to new possibilities.

Approach life as an experiment.

When you approach life through the lenses of curiosity and conviction that whenever something unexpected happens there is growth and opportunities in it, you fall in love with life.

Question Your Doubts.

Doubts are rarely accurate. They are meant to keep us safe from change.

As we cling to the familiar, our minds will come up with a million excuses to stay at the old job, not make that call, and stay at home.

Here, self-awareness becomes your saviour. It is empowering.

Instead of listening to every thought and acting on it, pause. Next time you have a disempowering belief, write it down. Sit with it.

What if the opposite were true?

What if I am actually ready to travel the world?

What if it is the perfect time to change a career?

Of course, you fear making a significant change. It is human. It is normal. But not everyone questions those fears. Self-awareness is like holding a mirror at your soul.

Ask yourself, what is the payoff you get from holding on to doubt?

What am I giving up as I continue to believe my fears?

There is always a strong ‘why’ that drives your behaviour. When you discover your motif, assess whether sticking to a certain belief is worth it.

Not asking for a pay rise when you are a beginner seems like a rational thought. But as you gain experience, you should feel confident in your worth and your pay cheque should reflect that value.

Healthy self-esteem is not random luck. It is your mindset.

Tame Negative Self-Talk.

If you want to change your life, change your inner dialogue. Nourish your mind like you would your body.

The mind cannot survive on junk food.

- Jim Rohn

You have trained your brain to think in patterns. You can break that habit by self-discipline and focus on constructive thoughts.

Your internal chatter sabotages your success. But you can speak new words and think better thoughts that push you towards greatness. Cut out sentences like, ‘I can’t’, and ‘I am not smart or pretty enough’ from your vocabulary.

Paraphrase thinking,

I have failed big time, ➡ I am proud of myself for trying. What is the lesson from this?

I will never have a body like hers. ➡ Changes take time. Step by step, I will become healthier.

I’ve never done this before. I bet I suck at it. ➡ This is a wonderful opportunity for me to learn.

Nobody can make you feel worse without your consent. Observe your self-talk. Observe what you think about when doing the dishes, preparing the food, brushing your teeth, and falling asleep.

Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away.

― C. JoyBell C.

Would you allow your best friend emotionally bully herself? I bet you would talk her out of it. Why won’t you do the same for yourself?

Every time you say something negative about yourself, say at least three kind sentences to yourself.

Start a compliment journal. In the morning, list ten compliments for yourself, your body, your character. Compliments are powerful mood boosters.

The better your self-talk gets, the better your life becomes. Change your self-talk, and you will change your life.

Self-Talk Determines Your Self-Image.

Self-image or self-concept is how you think and feel about yourself. We are created by our beliefs.

You don’t act according to facts. You act on your interpretation of those facts. The image you hold in your mind dictates your behaviour.

A positive self-image drives your determination, helps you see opportunities and makes you confident. A negative self-image sabotages your efforts, blocks motivation and makes it hard to believe in yourself.

The mind acts on the data you feed it.

A healthy self-image looks like this:

• Getting what I want is easy.
• I deserve success.
• I can improve my skills.

A negative and limiting self-image blocks abundance from your life. It looks like this:

• I am a failure.
• I never have enough money.
• I have no luck.

What you believe yourself to be is how you act.

When you have a positive self-image, you:

• see yourself as an attractive person,
• think of yourself as a smart and reliable person,
• you live a happy and satisfied life,
• believe success is natural for you.

All of your actions, feelings, behaviors, even your abilities are always consistent with your self-image.

— Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics

Your self-image can keep you stuck, but if changed, it can make you thrive. The mind acts on the data you feed it.

Your self-image sets limits for your accomplishments. When you expand your self-image, you raise your possibilities. If you want a successful lifestyle, you have to feel successful within. If you want a steady relationship, first, feel secure alone.

Smile when you greet your reflection in the mirror. Compliment yourself on a job well done. Watch how you talk to yourself and about yourself.

Your life improves when you surround yourself with positive, affirming, and non-judgmental thoughts.

Conquer Your Doubts With the Right Tribe.

People in your life either fuel your self-doubt or build your self-esteem.

After all, you are who you hang out with.

How do you expect to think good about yourself if people in your life are busy criticizing, gossiping and complaining?

People who engage in destructive habits will determine how you approach obstacles, failures, and trials.

You are who you hang out with.

When you encounter difficulties, persistence and self-belief are crucial. The path to success is paved with tenaciousness. Confident people will help you along the way.

Minimize relationships that bring negativity into your life and surround yourself with positivity and support instead.

The quality of the people you surround yourself reflects the quality of your values. Are you proud of your tribe? Do they make you doubt yourself? Life is too short to be surrounded by people with lesser visions than you.

When you commit to the version of who you want to be, and the career you want to pursue, eventually, you need to start saying ‘no’ to people and activities that no longer support your vision.

You cannot doubt yourself and make good decisions.

But you can make healthy choices when you think good about yourself and support your goals.

When you stop listening to the nagging voice in your head questioning your worth, you stretch your wings and soar.

Thank you for being here, — Kate