The Tragedy of Knowing Ourselves

Why Has No One Warned Us About This?

We all have heard the ancient dictum to know thyself. And, it’s a 100% valid imperative, a necessity to living a full life. And, there’s a subtlety, a potential pitfall, to watch out for.

Death and Knowing

Death and knowing to share something in common. They both represent the end of something. Death is the name we give to the end of life. Knowing is the name we give to the end of discovery, the end of the mystery, the end of wonder

In life, death is inescapable, and dying is optional. See “How to Stop Dying”

In love, observation is inescapable, and knowing is optional.

To love someone is to create an immaculate space for them in our heart. We view them through the lens of complete, open-hearted acceptance. We brush away judgment, assessment, measurement, categories and comparison. It is only inside of this pristine space (our mind) that we can authentically hold another person in love. If we are not present, mindful and aware, then we cannot have that precious place in our mind to lovingly see them. There is no love without the space to hold it.

Coming Full Circle

The same is true of us. It’s beautiful and wonderful to observe ourselves in the light of love. It’s a striking and revelatory experience to create that space for ourselves. And we should do this early and often. But we must resist the inclination to judge, assess, measure, categorize or compare ourselves.

When we judge, assess, measure, categorize or compare, we create summary beliefs about that person or persons. These summary beliefs are the barnacles of reality. They obscure, corrode and inhibit our ability to experience reality directly. And, like barnacles, we must make an unending effort to release them from our hull. Otherwise, we become heavy with drag, and we risk sinking into neurosis.

These beliefs are what we think we know about a person or even things. But these are beliefs, not the actual thing or person. If we allow the belief to get between us and what we are experiencing, then we are being distracted, we are being led away from reality.

What To Do

So, we must cultivate the persistent habit of observing people and our surroundings, but without reaching for summary beliefs, conclusions. Without “knowing” everything. Because when we hold something as known, the actual experience of that thing ceases. The concept blocks or filters our perception.

So, the dictum should be amended. It’s not “Know thyself.” It’s “Love thyself.” If you keep creating an immaculate space of love for yourself, you will develop a deeper relationship with yourself (and your world) than you ever thought possible.

This process of being present and creating an immaculate space of love cannot be repeated too often. And, if you spend 2 minutes actually doing it, you’ll have already done more than 90% of people.

“Be patient and kind with yourself. And be patient and kind with yourself about being patient and kind with yourself.” — Improv Cowboy

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