Psychology and Mental Health
The Striking Impact of Negative Body Image on Vulnerable People
Life lessons learned from the suicide note of an adolescent friend who ended his life due to his girlfriend's disapproval of his body parts.
Tragically, my adolescent friend took his own life due to the rejection and disapproval of his physical appearance and private body parts by his girlfriend.
This devastating event serves as a powerful reminder of the impact that societal pressures and body image can have and the crucial lessons that we must learn to foster self-acceptance and love for ourselves and those around us.
In this article, I summarize a tragic event recorded in my personal journal, which spanned around 500 pages, examining my thoughts and feelings at the time and how I processed and registered them in my mind.
This heartbreaking event served as a catalyst for my interest in researching the impact of body image and societal pressure on cognitive function and mental well-being. I covered societal pressure in a previous article.
First, I summarize the tragic event. Then, I explain the meaning and adverse effects of distorted body image. After that, I present a practical framework leveraging mindfulness practices as a viable solution to address negative body image concerns.
Behind his seemingly perfect life, Juergen had been struggling with insecurities about his physical appearance.
It was a sunny late afternoon when the doorbell interrupted my study. I answered the door seeing my friend Alicia, who was usually bubbly and smiling, stood there with tears in her eyes.
Alicia told me that Juergen G, a friend from our high school, had died earlier that day. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe it, thinking it was a nightmare. Alicia hugged me as she cried. I was shocked and couldn’t process her words.
At 17, I wasn’t used to hearing about death, especially of someone my own age. The occasional death news was about elderly relatives or neighbors, which always reminded me of our ephemeral life on this planet.
However, in hindsight, this news was beyond the capacity and capability of my cognitive brain at the time.
Juergen had been the epitome of success in our high school, always getting the highest scores in science and math classes. I felt a mix of envy, admiration, and respect for him.
Despite our differences, we got along well and collaborated for synergistic success. We both desired to be scientists after completing our degrees. He wanted to be a neuroscientist and brain surgeon, as encouraged by our biology teacher.
Nevertheless, behind his seemingly perfect life, he struggled with insecurities about his physical appearance.
A cruel comment from his girlfriend about his private body parts seemed to aggravate and compound his negative emotions.
He had become consumed by thoughts of inadequacy and felt like he could never live up to societal standards of masculinity, as he wrote in capital letters on the final pages of his journal.
This unbearable pressure consumed his cognitive power and allowed his limbic system to take over.
Despite coming from a wealthy family who could have afforded psychiatric, psychological counseling, or therapeutic services, Juergen couldn’t bring himself to talk about his feelings, so they remained secret.
He ultimately made the tragic decision to end his life. His suicide note in the final chapter of his diary was a heartbreaking testament to the devastating impact of societal pressure and body image issues on young people.
Juergen’s tragic death was a reminder of the importance of talking about our feelings and seeking help when we struggle.
This event also highlighted the need for more understanding and compassion toward others and the impact of our words when talking about the physical appearances of vulnerable people.
His affluent parents, in their grief, decided to honor Juergen’s memory by speaking out about the importance of negative body image for young people. They started a foundation in his name to raise awareness about the issue and provide resources for those in need.
Through their efforts, they were able to turn their tragedy into a positive outcome and make a difference in the lives of vulnerable adolescents.
They urged community members to be more understanding and compassionate toward each other, particularly vulnerable youngsters and the elderly. They reminded us that everyone had insecurities, and they needed to be addressed timely.
Before this tragic event, I had no understanding of the negative body image concept or the extent of its impact on vulnerable people.
Gratefully, our psychology teacher provided an explanation that left a lasting impression on me and sparked my interest in exploring the topic further from a scientific perspective.
Like Jurgen, I also had suicidal thoughts due to other situations in my life. One factor was low-fat diets that gave me anhedonia and nightmares. Therefore, I love healthy fats so much nowadays.
But I overcame my issues with the power of my cognitive system, knowledge, and experience. However, it always hurts me to see or hear about people who end their lives due to unknown factors. The most recent one was beloved Twitch, which was a mystery to us.
What is body image, and why does it matter?
Body image comprises our perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward our own bodies. It relates to physical appearance and how we perceive it.
It is primarily more about how we feel about our bodies rather than how we physically look. It refers to a distorted mental image.
Numerous factors influence body image. The most common ones are family, friends, colleagues, community, culture, and overall societal factors.
Unfortunately, society often promotes narrow body images for men and women. These standards are usually unrealistic for the majority and primarily can be achieved by advantaged people like celebrities and athletes.
Negative body image can significantly impact our physical and mental health. For example, poor body image might lead to eating disorders (restrictive or binge eating), leading to malnutrition and excessive weight loss or gain. It can also cause excessive or no exercise depending on the mental image type.
On the psychological side, negative body image can lead to low self-esteem, chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. And in extreme cases, as I touched on in Juergen’s story, it can lead to suicidal ideation or even ending one’s life.
What can we do?
A viable approach is to replace a negative body image with a positive one. This process involves several mindfulness approaches, such as awareness, acceptance, self-love, and a growth mindset with realistic optimism.
These powerful approaches can change a negative body image to a positive one by helping us to shift our focus from the perceived flaws in our appearance to strengths and abilities.
I’d like to touch briefly on each approach to give you a high-level perspective.
1 — Awareness
Awareness of body image issues can help us observe our thoughts and feelings when the problem occurs.
Such awareness allows us to pay attention to the negative self-talk that may drive negative body image.
For example, when thoughts and feelings such as “I dislike my body. My face looks abnormal. My legs are short and arms thin”, we need to observe them and use the following steps.
2 — Acceptance and Gratitude
Once we become aware of negative thoughts and feelings about our appearance, we must accept them. Acceptance does not mean that we should continue to hold onto negative thoughts and feelings.
Acceptance means that we should acknowledge these existing thoughts and feelings and see them as normal to have them for anyone.
The purpose of acceptance in mindfulness practices is to reduce feelings of shame, self-criticism, guilt, anger, and anxiety.
Acceptance can initiate gratitude and make us feel better about our blessings, as there is more than the body to our existence in this life.
3 — Self-Compassion and Self-Love
Once we accept our thoughts and feelings, the next step is cultivating self-compassion and self-love. These two concepts are related, but they are also slightly different.
Self-compassion is about being kind and understanding toward ourselves when experiencing complex thoughts, emotions, and setbacks.
It is like treating ourselves with similar kindness, care, and understanding that we would offer to good friends. Self-compassion informs us that others can also experience our experiences.
Self-love is about having positive thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward ourselves.
Self-love enables us to care for ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally without depending on external validation, capabilities, or accomplishments.
4 — Taking Action with a Growth Mindset and Realistic Optimism
This final step is essential to maintain self-compassion and self-love sustainably.
A growth mindset helps us to observe, accept, change, and improve our conditions rather than feeling stuck with our thoughts, emotions, and behavior about our current appearance.
Realistic optimism determines our future success. It involves setting realistic goals and pursuing them with positive thoughts and hope.
Taking action with realistic optimism is essential to maintain our physical and mental health, as well as for sustained happiness and life satisfaction.
An example of implementing this framework
Imagine a woman has a distorted image of her body. She thinks she is overweight and cannot connect with others feeling low self-esteem and even shame.
By being aware of her thoughts and feelings, she can write them and or record them to see or hear those cognitive distortions clearly.
When she accepts these thoughts and feelings, she can gain a mental space to process them better.
In the next step, she can start showing compassion for her thoughts and feelings, leading to self-acceptance and self-love.
These three steps can put this person in a mentally more robust and cognitively flexible position. However, real change only happens with action.
In her case, she might create a plan to fix her diet, sleep, exercise, rest, and recovery. If changing these lifestyle factors does not work, she might seek help and support from qualified healthcare professionals who might diagnose and treat her condition.
Conclusions and Takeaways
Juergen’s event was my initial exposure to the harmful effects of body image. However, as time passed, my eyes were opened to countless additional examples, both in my youth and even in my present years, possibly due to my improved RAS.
I have observed many instances of discrimination against individuals based on their physical appearance.
I also have been on the receiving end of negative comments related to my own body shape during a period of metabolic challenges in my mid-twenties, including from my caring uncle.
Thankfully, I took the time to educate myself on the psychological and physical implications of negative body image and was able to overcome these challenges through the implementation of mindfulness practices, as outlined in this post.
Unfortunately, I still see instances of body shaming, particularly on social media, where some aggressive people and even so-called professionals use human bodies as a means to promote their ideas, products, and services.
Body image is a delicate issue with psychological implications in our lives. Therefore, we must approach ourselves if we struggle with this issue and those around us with empathy and compassion.
Attaining and maintaining a healthy physique is a commendable pursuit. However, it is essential to recognize that our physical appearance, while significant, is just one aspect of our existence as human beings.
By embracing and harnessing the full range of our abilities, we can actively work to mitigate the adverse effects of negative body image and cultivate a more holistic sense of self-worth.
Here is a six-step holistic approach to transforming a weak body into a strong one with healthy lifestyle habits and the support of healthcare professionals
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
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