The Science of Better Anal Sex
Research-based ways to level up your bottom game.
Anal sex, butt stuff, bottoming—this once-taboo topic is now a mainstream mainstay.
The problem is that most of us don’t maximize the potential of this sex act.
As usual, science has our back. There are (at least) five research-based ways to have better anal sex. In this blog post, we’re going to explore all the ways and how to apply them to your sex life.
So grab your favorite glass of wine, kick up your bare feet, and let’s get into it.
Have Sex in the Future
Research published in the American Journal of Reproductive Immunology suggests that older women have anal sex more often than younger women.
31% of women of older women reported engaging in anal sex compared to 22% of younger women.
The researchers used surveys to find out the sexual behavior of cisgender women in 20 cities. The results showed:
White and Latina women had slightly higher anal sex rates than Black women (37%, 35%, and 31%, respectively); women who had more casual sex partners also had more anal sex.
There’s probably a very good reason why older women have more anal sex than their younger counterparts.This, of course, is not true of every woman. Just like it’s not true of every man.
Why does anal sex seem to increase over time?
A 2019 article on WebMD offers a strong case for the increase in a woman’s sex drive in her early 30s and 40s. The article states:
This time of life may be when your sex drive is strongest. One study showed that women between 27 and 45 had more frequent and more intense sexual fantasies than younger or older women. They also had more sex and were more likely to have it sooner in a relationship.
Probably the biggest reason for more anal sex is that many women discover how much more it leads to orgasm.
A 2010 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine shares this startling statistic: 94% of women who engaged in anal sex reported orgasms. That seems pretty dang high.
Consider, as Slate.com did, that, “Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus.”
But wait (Butt wait?), there’s more to the story.
When you drill down into the details of the study, you find that women who participated in more sex acts, including anal sex, were more likely to report orgasms.
As the article in Slate.com points out, anal sex is a “trailing indicator.”
One of the most natural and organic ways that you can improve your anal sex experience is to wait until you’re in your 30’s and 40's. Or, if you’re like me and you don’t want to wait, then just know that your experience is likely to get better during this period.
Psychic Anal Sex
A qualitative study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior studied the reasons women participated in anal sex.
Their results showed the women in the study practiced anal sex because:
- They liked the sensation
- Their partner liked it
- They feel closer to their partner than with vaginal intercourse
The study also revealed that women often reserve anal sex for special partners. In other words, they don’t have anal sex with everyone.
Most of the time, anal sex occurred spontaneously and without planning.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but one way to make anal sex better is to plan it in advance.
When you plan anal sex, you can prepare lubrication, make sure everyone’s everything is clean and fresh, and ready yourself physically (not to mention mentally and emotionally)for it to happen.
I call thinking and planning ahead for the act, “psychic anal sex.”
Relax With Bear Feathers
Science also offers a few ways to prepare yourself for better anal sex. I call it “Relax with bear feathers” mostly because that phrase makes me laugh.
Hopefully, it’s also memorable for you.
The phrase alludes to three steps you can take to improve your backdoor experience.
- Relax your nerve endings
- Bear down on your pelvic floor
- Feather your butthole
Let’s briefly expand on each step.
Relax your nerve endings
Your anus can give you pleasure or pain. I bet that doesn’t surprise you.
However, one trick for better anal sex is to relax your nerve endings by applying firm pressure with a flat hand. Press firmly against your anus with your flat hand (or your partner can participate) to desensitize yourself to pressure and touch in this delicate area.
Bear down on your pelvic floor
Anal sex works best when you start relaxed (to receive the penis, dildo, or other phallic-shaped objects).
However, once the object is inserted, you can experiment with lifting your pelvic floor (Kegels) and bearing down (as if giving birth). The combination of relaxation and constriction can make all the difference.
Where’s your pelvic floor?
Everyone has one, but here’s a simple image of where to find yours if you have a vagina:
Feather your butthole
Another way to prepare your body for bottoming is for you and/or your partner to lightly feather their fingers around your butthole.
Just as with applying pressure with a flat hand, this practice helps acclimate you to touch. Essentially, you calm down your nerve endings and simultaneously build tolerance for more pressure.
Anal Sex Tips (Just the Tips Please!)
You should know by now that I wouldn’t leave you without unloading tons of practical applications.
So, consider this your master list of anal sex tips:
- Always, always, always communicate about anal sex BEFORE anal sex.
- A hot bath before anal sex can help you relax your muscles.
- Lube is your best friend. Use lubrication (just nothing that might irritate the sensitive anus).
- If you’re the receiving partner, relax and don’t hold your breath.
- Slow and rhythmic breathing will also help you relax.
- Before anal, the receiving partner can squeeze and relax their sphincter in 10-second intervals.
- Trend bigger. Start by inserting a finger or butt plug, then maybe two fingers, and finally the penis or dildo.
- Allow the receiving partner to guide the penis or dildo into their own anus.
- Get in a proper position. Try doggy style, missionary, spooning, or lifting up your partner’s legs while they lay on their back.
- Go slow and easy (especially at first). Ramming it in isn’t going to end well for anyone (except perhaps for the ER doctor and prosecuting attorney).
- Release any expectations about what you think should happen. You may love it or you may hate it. Maybe even a little of both.
- It’s probably not going to look or sound like porn. Porn anal might be good entertainment but the prep and process are not as sexy as you might imagine.
The Bottom Line
There are real and practical ways to improve your experience with anal sex. That said, bottoming isn’t for everyone.
Personally, I enjoy the idea and access of anal sex more than I derive physical pleasure from the act itself. There’s something incredibly arousing and intimate to me about exploring anal sex with someone significant to me.
A list of other “Science of Better Sex” articles: