The Science of Better Sex
Bed-busting research to improve your love life.
I’m having the best sex of my life.
The reasons for my upgraded sex life come down to experience, an amazing partner, maturity, and science. After four decades of dicking around, I finally studied what works best in the bedroom.
What I found transformed my sex life almost overnight.
Since you can’t instantly manifest decades of experience or your dream partner, science is your golden ticket to amazing sex.
Sit back, relax, and let’s talk about the science of better sex.
Drink Coffee Before Sex
I know this sounds crazy, but it actually works — I know from experience.
According to several published studies, drinking a small cup of coffee 30–60 minutes before sex may maximize your orgasms, boost your libido, and even help prevent male erectile dysfunction.
In small doses, caffeine increases blood flow throughout your body. Even one small cup of coffee is enough to improve blood vessel function.
Some TikTokers obsess over this sex hack, even claiming 50% stronger orgasms. @jugrandoni says:
That was wild. That was wild! I’m gonna do that forever now. Usually, one or two times…whatever. But this — like, 16 times. IT WAS WILD. Seriously, if you’re fucking stressed out of your mind, go drink some damn coffee. OK?! Trust me.
Sounds good, but will it work for you?
Dr. Nicole E. Williams, MD, started The Gynecology Institute of Chicago. She says that there is no conclusive scientific study proving coffee guarantees mindblowing orgasms.
However, she does not rule it out completely.
What she does warn against is overexposure to caffeine which can skyrocket anxiety. And, I think we can all agree that more anxiety does not lead to more or better sex.
Conclusion:
- Try a small 12oz cup of coffee before sex.
- Each person reacts differently to caffeine. In small doses, it may just be the nectar you need for better orgasms.
- Experiment with different levels of caffeine to see how they impact your orgasms and overall comfort. Avoid overconsumption.
Responsiveness Triggers Desire
The more responsiveness you display with your partner, the better your sex life.
A 2016 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that higher responsiveness correlated with higher sexual desire.
According to the authors of the study:
Our findings show that in long-term relationships, daily responsiveness cues facilitate sexual desire for both men and women, primarily when these cues instill the sense that the partner is valuable and that the relationship is special.
What constitutes “daily responsiveness cues”?
In the study, responsiveness meant any actions (texting, phone calls, in-person communication) that made their partner feel special, unique, and respected.
For example, the following is a research statement answered by study participants: “Today my partner seemed interested in what I was thinking and feeling”.
Important disclaimer: The length and stage of your relationship matter. Higher frequency responsiveness increases sexual desire in long-term relationships. However, it can lower attraction early in a relationship.
Conclusion:
- In long-term relationships, respond quickly and lovingly to your partner throughout the day.
- In new relationships, limit responsiveness between face-to-face dates.
Coital Alignment for Orgasmic Explosions
The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a sex position developed by Edward Eichel that, essentially, combines vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation.
Some people call it “grinding the corn”.
That’s because, with CAT, both partners slowly and rhythmically grind against each other. The grinding puts pressure on the vulva. More specifically, the clitoris.
Studies on CAT resulted in:
- More female orgasms
- Less premature ejaculation in men
- More mutual orgasms
Ok, but how do you do it?
Here are the basic steps:
- Start in the classic missionary position. One partner (one with a vulva) lays on their back with their legs straight and slightly open. The other partner (one with a penis or strap-on) lays on top of them.
- The partner on top raises themselves “higher up” than usual in the missionary position.
- The partner on the bottom angles their hips upward. It can be helpful to use a small pillow under your butt to angle your clitoris for the ultimate orgasm.
- The partner on top inserts only the tip of their penis or dildo into the bottom partner’s vagina. The shaft of the penis or dildo lays against the vulva.
- Next, the partner on top slowly and rhythmically rocks up and down (not in-and-out like standard penetrative sex).
Conclusion:
- Try the Coital Alignment Technique with your partner.
- Maintain a slow and steady cadence of rocking.
- Experiment by rocking slowly in different directions.
It’s All About the Angles
To boost pleasure and increase orgasms, penetrate your partner’s vagina at a 35 to 45-degree angle.
Research in the Journal of Clinical Anatomy showed that 45-degrees is the best angle for stimulating the front wall of the vagina. Two positions perfect for 45-degree penetration include missionary & the reverse cowgirl position.
Just like with the CAT, positioning a pillow under your partner’s butt can often help you find the right angle in the missionary position. The reverse cowgirl position is when (usually) a female partner straddles a male partner with her butt facing her partner.
A 45-degree angle is also popular for anal sex enthusiasts.
Conclusion:
- When penetrating the vagina or anus, aim for a 45-degree entry.
- For best results, try missionary, reverse cowgirl, and the CAT position.
Have Sex With the Lights On (Or Outside)
In an Italian research study, men exposed to natural light demonstrated higher testosterone, higher sex drives, and higher sexual satisfaction.
So flip those bright lights back on — or find a private outdoor space.
Of course, not everyone is comfortable with keeping the lights on, so another workaround is regular exposure to sunlight. Short, daily walks offer nearly identical sexual benefits.
Practice FOPS
Patti Britton, a clinical sexologist and author of the book The Art of Sex Coaching encourages men and women to practice FOPS or Focus On Pleasurable Sensations.
She says:
There are techniques ranging from eye-gazing to massage and synchronized breathing that help keep you in the moment. Great sex happens in the present. It doesn’t happen in the future, like worrying about how quickly you’re going to come.
Daily stress can destroy our sexual energy, drive, and stamina. Anxieties over performance can wreak havoc on our sexual enjoyment.
Britton’s solution is to practice FOPS to reduce stress and ground ourselves in the present.
The American Psychological Association published research that says kinky sex (specifically BDSM) promotes altered states of consciousness similar to what athletes and creatives fondly refer to as the flow state.
The flow state is an intensely “in the now” experience, making it a perfect fit for FOPS.
Conclusion:
- Practice FOPS to reduce stress and magnify present-moment pleasure.
- Engage in light BDSM (bondage, blindfolds, and butt-spanking, oh my) to trigger mind-buzzing flow states.
The Best Times To Have Sex
I’ve written before that 3 p.m. is the best time of the day to enjoy sex because that’s when male and female body chemistry most align.
However, there’s more to perfect sex timing than afternoon delight.
Here are the other best times to have sex:
- First thing in the morning when men’s testosterone levels are usually at their highest levels (This is partially why men get morning boners).
- Day 14 of a woman’s ovulation cycle. On this day, a woman’s clitoris grows by 15-20 percent, and sexual arousal spikes. As a possible plus, men find women more attractive at this menstrual midpoint.
- After something scary. Many studies underscore how fear-based activities arouse the body. This arousal increases blood flow, energizes the body, and often tricks us into misinterpreting our bodily response as higher sexual attraction.
- Thursdays. Researchers from the London School of Economics found that our sex hormones peak on Thursdays. Other studies show that cortisol levels rise in the mornings, so Thursday morning might be ideal.
- Sunday at 9 a.m. According to a massive Superdrug survey, this is the most popular day and time couples have sex. The second most popular day and time are Saturday at 10:30 p.m.
Conclusion:
- The best time to have sex depends on many factors, including gender, availability, and personal preference.
- Try having sex on a Thursday or Sunday morning.
- Try having sex at 3 pm on day 14 of your cycle after watching a scary movie.
Synchronize Your Sexy
A 2017 study published in the Association for Psychological Science journal showed that sexual and relationship satisfaction — known as “sex afterglow” — lasts up to 48-hours after sex.
Therefore, couples who have sex at least every three days increase their odds of living in a perpetual state of “sex afterglow.”
The research also found that participants who experienced more afterglow predictably reported higher marital satisfaction even months after the initial study.
Here is how they said it:
Following a single occurrence of sex, participants reported enhanced sexual satisfaction that lasted 48 hr but not 72 hr. Further, participants who reported relatively high levels of this sexual afterglow 48 hr after engaging in sex also reported relatively high levels of marital satisfaction at the time of marriage and remained more satisfied over the subsequent months of marriage…
Conclusion:
- Synchronize your sexy by having sex at least every 72 hours.
- Try not to go more than 72 hours without having sex with your partner.
Cuddle Up After Sex
Great sex doesn’t end after orgasm. Two studies published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior journal surveyed 450 participants.
Specifically, they wanted to know how long they cuddled after sex and their overall relationship satisfaction. Based on their reports, 15 minutes of cuddling after sex promotes greater sexual and relationship satisfaction.
Like the studies on sex afterglow, the positive effects of post-coitus affection lasted even three months later.
Conclusion:
- Prioritize physical affection immediately after sex.
- Cuddle for 15 minutes after sex.
Final Thoughts
Regardless of the science, each person and each couple prefer certain sexual activities on certain days and at certain times. These preferences can and do fluctuate based on any number of variables.
Experiment with these science-based methods, but make them your own. There is no one-size-fits-all technique.
Ultimately, the best sex is the sex you enjoy the most.
“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”―Tom Robbins
