The Ongoing Battle of The Sexes.

It’s men vs. women, and we’re still not getting to the root of the problem.

I’ve come across a ridiculous amount of videos on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube about men and women putting each other down because of the lack of accountability, grace, and understanding on both sides.

There’s an endless number of podcasts where men talk about women and everything that’s wrong with the women of today and women doing the same.

All they seem to be doing is trash-talking each other.

I don’t see the majority of them trying to bridge the gap, offering possible solutions and understanding why both men and women are falling short.

I can understand both sides and some of the arguments that are leading these conversations.

The reality is the dynamics of dating, relationships, and marriage have changed.

Something I do agree with when it comes to the complaints of women is that men do need to step up because of this change.

Now that women no longer need to rely on the financial stability a man can provide because women can work, open a bank account, etc., men need to understand that value is no longer counted in dollars.

Men also need to understand that the monetary value they can provide may no longer be enough, and women need them to contribute in other ways.

Factors outside of both genders' control have financially impacted the middle class (definitely those below it), and most households are now two-income households because one income is just simply not enough.

The traditional roles where the man goes to work, and the woman stays home and takes care of the household have now become a luxury.

On the men’s side, I see there is a problem with part of the feminist movement that tells women they should do whatever they want.

The thing is, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

And many women have fallen for the trap of fast money.

What do I mean by this? I’m talking about the trap of sex work or selling the idea of sex.

Here I’m not referring to the women who have fallen victim to sex work and are forced to do it.

I’m talking about the women who choose to pursue sex work because they are blinded by the opportunity it offers to make a lot of money in a short period of time.

I would also like to add I understand there’s a plethora of extenuating circumstances that may force a woman to turn to sex work.

Again, I’m not talking about the women who are doing this to survive.

I’m talking about the women who are pursuing the dream of a luxurious lifestyle 24/7 and are willing to do sex work to acquire it.

Whether it be through OnlyFans, porn, Instagram (you may not think so, but some stuff some girls put out there is certainly risque), etc.

I know I’m not covering everything, but from what I’ve gathered so far, after watching hundreds of these videos, these appear to be the main theme for each side's argument.

Women want men to step up to the plate, work on their emotional intelligence, and provide more than money.

Men want women to become more modest, be more ‘traditional,’ and overall guard and protect their femininity.

Side note — a lot of these podcasts can be very extreme.

Some men want women to be demure and submissive, never questioning their husbands or partners. That’s unrealistic for today’s world (depending on which parts of the world you live in).

And what’s funny is that women actually want the same.

They want a man who can provide financially but never question any of her decisions. Basically, a man who is simply glad to have her regardless of what she does outside the home.

Both of these perspectives are completely unrealistic!

You cannot have a working relationship without both partners working towards understanding one another, communicating often, and compromising.

We, humans, are not perfect. If your partner is simply agreeing to everything you’re doing and saying, that’s more of a red flag.

Either they have extremely low self-esteem, or they are getting what they want somewhere else.

But that's beside the point.

The point I want to focus on is that the majority of these podcasts do not show any self-awareness.

Very few times do I hear a host or a guest talking about themselves, the lessons they learned, and what they had to go through to change, grow, and evolve.

Most of the time, it’s complaints about what the opposite sex is doing or telling the opposite sex what they should do.

If we’re going to bridge the gap, we need to start asking real questions. Hard questions that are going to get to the bottom of why we are doing what we’re doing.

Why are these women turning to sex work for a living? Do they not believe they can have a career in a different field? Have they been told this is all they are good for?

Why do men want submissive, unquestioning women? Does the man think he’s always right and should never be questioned? Or is he making sure the woman never gets too close to his heart so he doesn’t get hurt?

These types of questions are how we begin to understand each other. Understand how we’ve been hurt before and why we’re protecting ourselves.

Vulnerability is the key, and these podcasts and shows refuse to allow room for it.

If a safe space was created for both genders to have a real and raw conversation about why they want what they want, they may realize that what they’re looking for is not truly what they want.

They may realize what they need to work on are their wounds and perspectives. To heal the parts of them that have been neglected.

When we’re able to create a space where people can heal their wounds and not be shamed for what has happened to them or been done to them, we will finally begin closing the gap.