The Limiting Beliefs You Have About Yourself Can Hold You Back
I sat in my car on a Monday morning like I always did. I was heading to work, trying to count the hours until I would be home. The work itself was fine, but I hated being in the office.
That’s when I realized that I was settling for what I thought I had to do. There was no way that I was creative or intelligent enough to become a freelance writer. Who would want to pay me to write their work or even read my work period!
I noticed that this was a limiting belief that I had about myself. Instead of my automatic reaction being, “I can’t do this,” I turned it into “I can try!”
So that’s what I did. But before coming to this conclusion, I had a few internal battles that I was facing.
I’ve struggled with mental health for much of my life. For me, it will be a lifelong battle. So I constantly need time to rest and recenter my mind during times of stress. Scheduling time out of your day for mental health is not easy when you work a full-time job — remote or not.
I felt so depressed and even more hopeless knowing that this is what I was looking forward to for the rest of my life.
I wanted to have more in my life besides focusing on work. For some people, that works for them. I am not one of those people.
I didn’t hide my dream of remote work from my old work family. I always told my coworkers that my dream job was to work from home. I wanted to be with my cats and work wherever and whenever.
My mental health had slowly gotten worse, so I needed more and more time to heal. In combination with other life factors, I was having a challenging time.
I want work to be a priority, but I don’t want it to be my main priority.
The pandemic showed me how much I was not too fond of the way my life was.
Quarantine was the big push that showed me how unhappy I was with my pre-pandemic life. I was so happy being at home — and working from home, too! I loved not having to go to work on my regular Monday through Friday job. Instead, I got to roll out of bed and answer the phones from my home office.
Sadly the job I was in didn’t have a strong need for a remote worker — which is okay. I decided to quit that job and go back to school to become an educational diagnostician.
I did that for a semester, and I enjoyed it, but I realized I would have to return to an office job. Yes, I would be making a lot more money, and I would have some stellar credentials. But what’s the point of following a path I know that I am not happy with at the end of the day?
Aside from the everyday work, I found myself disappointed. I was disappointed at what I was getting out of life. I felt so restricted.
I always thought a bigger, better job would solve this ache, but it only worsened.
I had realized that I needed to steer off the path I was currently on.
What are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are thoughts about yourself that you believe to be true. As we think these ideas are accurate, we begin to fit our life decisions and goals around this belief.
I have always loved writing. I dreamed of having a writing career, but I never thought I could do this. It just wasn’t something I could do. And why? I have no idea. But this was a belief that I held about myself.
I limited myself for many reasons, but the big one is because I was too afraid to try.
I am a perfectionist, so I want everything the way that I want it to be. Everything needs to be perfect.
My old motto used to be, “If I’m not perfect, then I shouldn’t even try.”
I always wanted to work from home and be self-employed. I wouldn’t say I liked the daily routine of getting and doing the same thing. It was boring, and it didn’t excite me.
I had to force myself to get out of bed every morning. I tried to convince myself that I loved this life — but I hated it.
I wanted nothing more than to work from home and to feel safe all the time.
I value my home as it is my haven. I can quickly meet my needs and take care of myself effectively.
Identifying your limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are a big reason why I never tried things I had always wanted to do. And maybe it was a little bit of the perfectionist in me, so I never wanted to try out of fear that I wouldn’t be perfect (shocker).
I limited myself to believe that I could only take one straight path.
So I began to target my big “I can’t’s” in life.
I can’t be a writer.
I can’t be a good gardener.
I can’t find a career that will make me happy.
So I challenged all of them. Anything that I previously said I couldn’t do, I began to question: why can’t I do it?
I started giving things a try. I started posting on Medium, and I haven’t stopped since. I would’ve never known if I hadn’t tried.
Understanding the reason behind my beliefs about myself
I have endured pain and trauma throughout my life, but I have been able to find what I most love in life from this. I have been through the darkest pits of hell and have come out the other side, time and time again.
When I find something that keeps me happy, distracted, and fulfilled, I know I am at peace — writing has always given me this sense of peace. When I write, I feel I have a world of possibility at my fingertips. Every day I see myself improve, and that fuels me to keep ongoing.
Whenever I would tell myself that I needed to stick with it long-term, I felt a little more confident. Maybe I just needed to adjust and be content with where I am.
But in the end, I hated my profession; I wanted to be at home and work.
So I finally made that decision.
I either use my backup plan as my main plan or continue on the same road. If I wasn’t happy now, what makes me think I would be glad later on?
I thought about this long and challenging; I wondered if it was worth it. If I was always going to fall back onto this plan, why not just go for it?
How my life has changed
Before the pandemic happened, I didn’t know how to endure this for the rest of my life.
My life was not bad, so don’t get me wrong. But with the amount of struggle I have gone through, I deserve to have a say in what I want to do.
I had limiting beliefs that I was only supposed to take a medical career, as that would be the only way to be employed.
So I went through all of those hospital jobs, and I tried my best to fit in. I changed myself and altered my stay-at-home career to fit in. Through each hoop I jumped through, I still felt unhappy. I even felt sick to my stomach thinking about doing this same job for the rest of my life.
Now I know that I don’t need to work in a hospital or be a teacher. I can be whatever I want to be!
I am only as successful as I allow myself to be. But I am not always going to be successful — and that’s okay; it’s a part of the process. I need to put in hard time and work to making my at-home career work, and it is slowly working.
Every day I spend blogging and writing, I have learned more about my life and better care for myself.
Thinking back to last year, I had so many major life changes that it was hard for me to take care of myself.
I left a secure job at the start of the pandemic, shortly after my husband was laid off from his job. I needed to make money to support my family during this difficult time.
Work was scarce, so my husband was unemployed for nearly nine months.
I wanted to find the best job to support my family during a difficult time, and I did just that. I ended up taking a job an hour away with a 5 dollar raise.
I was elated! I never believed I could do this, and I did it!
I thought that I was bored within my position and needed something more significant. So I thought taking this job would simultaneously solve my depleted feeling and funds issue.
It only fixed one of those issues.
I was able to keep my husband and me in our apartment, with all bills paid and no debt! So that is a win in itself. Honestly, that makes this whole situation easier to handle because I did what I needed to do.
Now I know that I need to be in my own space to best take care of myself. I have challenged those beliefs that have helped me back. When I wake up, I feel excitement and wonder.
I can be self-employed, and I can survive while doing it.
I became aware of my desires, and I understood what I truly craved: a safe place to call home.
I live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment with my husband, two cats, tons of plants, and hundreds of Magic the Gathering cards. I am pretty content with where I am in life.
In the end, I will be whatever I am destined to be (and it’s a freelance writer!)
Need a writer? Find me on Fiverr!
