An Open Letter to My Depression: I Want to Get Better
My mind is slowly rotting. I feel nothing. It is as if I am hollow.
The pain I feel is so immense, that I cannot even stand to write this. I want to write to get my thoughts and feelings out. Maybe someone will hear me and tell me I am not alone.
I don’t want to be alone.
I am not alone, and I know that. I am surrounded by people that love me and care for me. But I am nothing when they are gone.
I mindlessly stare at the realities of what I once wanted to be. It feels like death almost. I’ve let go of who I wanted to be to settle for what I need to be.
But what if I don’t want to be those things? What if I want to be someone far greater than anything that could be dreamt of. What if I am destined to live something far greater than what my present self can create.
I want to feel worthy of my time here. Each day passes, and nothing has wavered. What’s wrong with me? What could I be without this heavy head or dragging feet?
Despite all of this, I want to feel love. I want to be loved and give love.
Giving love is like picking the lone flower in a dead garden. This one shining joy I can share with you, in hopes that more may bloom.
I come with hands bearing the only fruit of my heart; I pray this is enough.
The true desires that lie within my soul are filled with peace.
May peace find its light in my heart.
