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Abstract

er he just faked it a la those stupid soft-core movies on late-night premium channels), I began to suspect something was amiss with Donger’s anaconda. And then I found it! A reference which revealed that…</p><p id="392a" type="7">the Donger’s dong was fake! His unit was in fact a prosthesis…a sleeve if you will…which the man put on his own paltry 9 incher like we regular guys would put a sock on our foot! What the fuck!?!?</p><p id="8c31">Needless to say, I had to sit down and recoup! “Take deep breaths, Dollar,” I said to myself in order not to lose it right there on the spot!</p><p id="2f24"><b>“What next?” I despaired. “Am I gonna find out that Nikki Minaj’s ass is fake?”</b></p><p id="eea9">Dudes! I’m fucking ruined! <b><i>The Donger is a fake</i></b>. Now I <i>know</i> there’s no Lochness monster — nor Bigfoot! But <i>this</i> is a disaster of epic proportions.</p><p id="2408"><b>More fun stories:</b></p><div id="af86" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-boyfriend-experience-b5cb0323bdbf"> <div> <div> <h2>The Boyfriend Experience</h2> <div><h3>What you do with your girlfriend, you might not want to do with the local escort</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*OEbTr-fBo-JYit-VL93kag.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="024d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-bartenders-boyfriend-66a2b3894465"> <div>

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The Legend of Long Dong Silver

His dick was fake!

Last night I went into HBO’s on-demand library to check out CONFIRMATION, a made-for-tv movie about the events surrounding the melodramatic senate confirmation hearings which eventually anointed one CLARENCE THOMAS a Supreme Court judge.

Personally, I thought Thomas was completely full of shit. For me, he was a porn freak who sexually harassed and bullied his protege (Anita Hill), allegedly advising her during business hours that she should watch some porn (especially a guy named Long Dong Silver, who had a 19-inch dork), that he himself had a big dick (though not the equal of the Donger’s), and that he admired big-chested women (which Anita wasn’t) — all in some clumsy and ill-fated attempt to seduce her. What a fucking guy!

Anyway, reminded of the Donger, I endeavored to do a little research on the dude. First, I found an interesting documentary on the icon. Next, I watched the Donger ravage SEKA (not really — it was fake), then the “it” girl of porn.

And after viewing both of these films, neither of which actually showed him inserting his monster in any woman (rather he just faked it a la those stupid soft-core movies on late-night premium channels), I began to suspect something was amiss with Donger’s anaconda. And then I found it! A reference which revealed that…

the Donger’s dong was fake! His unit was in fact a prosthesis…a sleeve if you will…which the man put on his own paltry 9 incher like we regular guys would put a sock on our foot! What the fuck!?!?

Needless to say, I had to sit down and recoup! “Take deep breaths, Dollar,” I said to myself in order not to lose it right there on the spot!

“What next?” I despaired. “Am I gonna find out that Nikki Minaj’s ass is fake?”

Dudes! I’m fucking ruined! The Donger is a fake. Now I know there’s no Lochness monster — nor Bigfoot! But this is a disaster of epic proportions.

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