BREAKING NEWS
The Kraken Lore Journalist Held at Gunpoint, Forced to Choose This or That
Fantasy Fiction This or That Challenge ends in hostage drama
Tuesday, 25 April 2023, Mediumtown. After missing in action for five days, The Kraken News (TKN) journalist Jay C Wells finally reappeared. According to Wells, he was kidnapped by an unidentified assailant who held him at gunpoint. Wells was then forced to answer twenty this or that questions. The Kraken Lore got hold of exclusive audio surveillance footage showcasing how a Medium writing challenge turned into a hostage drama.
Beginning of recording.
*Sound of a gun being locked and loaded*
Mechanically-distorted voice of the abductor: “Finally, we got you.”
Jay C Wells: “Toby? Is that you?”
Abductor: “Silence! I ask the questions!”
*JCW gulps loudly*
JCW: “Okay … sorry, but I got a question. What questions?!”
Abductor: “I will ask you twenty questions, and you will pick one of the options. Only one. Not both. Not neither. O-n-l-y o-n-e. Understood?”
JCW: “Eh … What are the options to ‘understood’?”
Abductor: “What?”
JCW: “You said you’ll always give me two options. You have to define them.”
Abductor *gnarls*: “Yes, you live. No, I shoot.”
JCW: “Phew … I guess I go with … yes?”
Abductor: “Dystopian or Enchanted?”
Jay C Wells: “Yeah … why start easy, right? It is just ….”
*The sound of the gun’s safety being unlocked*
JCW: “… a gun! Well, maybe it’s easy after all, right? I like dystopian stories, and many of my stories incorporate dystopian elements. Uh … on the other hand, I really love magic. There’s plenty of that in my stories! Damn, this isn’t easy! No. No! … No offence. Let’s … let’s say my stories are usually more enchanted than dystopian.”
Abductor: “Vampire or Dragon?”
JCW: “What kind of choice is this? *gulp* Oh yes … one made at gunpoint. Tough one, again. I’ll go for the vampire. There’s so much room for moral struggles, character growth … or descent into madness. Right? But then, this makes me question the dystopian versus enchanted choice again. … is that a nervous twitch in your trigger finger? Wait. Wait!”
Abductor: “Sword or Bolt of Fire from your Fingers”
JCW: “Let there be fire! I’ll always prefer a spell over a blade. This was easy for once. A good opportunity to lower that gun! … or maybe not.” *sigh*
Abductor: “Mind Reading or Crystal Ball”
JCW: “Seriously?! Who wants to carry a bloody football-sized glass ball all day? And I am speaking about a football, not the egg-shaped American thing. That sport should be called American Egghand!”
*Abductor gnarls*
“Hehe … Sorry, not sorry? But yeah, mind reading is more convenient. On the other hand, I don’t want to know what most people think. I wonder what you think.”
*Uneasy silence*
JCW: “Yeah … right. You got the gun.”
Abductor: “Broomstick or Winged Creature”
JCW: “Let’s return to my last answer and paraphrase. Who wants to carry a broomstick all day? Seriously! A bloody BROOM-STRICK! “Hey, mate?! Could you sweep the floors before you fly to the supermarket? Thanks, mate!’ No, I won’t, Steve!”
Abductor: “Who’s Steve? Never mind. Runes or Tarot Cards?”
JCW: “Runes are cool, and I know even less about Tarot Cards. And again, if you can inscribe runes on a surface, you don’t have to carry the cards, which will get dirty, break, or disappear in a pile of paper on my desk. There are runes in my WIP. Did you know? No, right. You aren’t a mind reader. You’d rather carry a glass ball, right?”
Abductor: “I ask the questions! Under an Oath or Stolen Memories?”
JCW: “Oath. There’s a lot of potential for conflict, and often when I read the “amnesia storylines”, I think ‘this stuff is getting old’, you know?”
Abductor: “Rainbow or Waterfall?”
JCW: “Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows! Pink fluffy unic….”
*Sound of the abductor cocking the gun*
JCW *gulp*: “… waterfall! WATERFALL!”
Abductor: “Enchanted Object or Cursed Object”
JCW: “Didn’t you forget a question mark there?”
*Abductor gnarls*
JCW: “Curse! A curse … *mumbling* just like this. *louder again* Convincing characters must struggle, and with a cursed object, you have that covered. Just look at this story. I picked up a cursed pencil and am now held at gunpoint!”
Abductor: “Good point.”
JCW: “Well, thank you! Don’t be too nice, please. Alas, you want me to develop Stockholm syndrome.”
Abductor: “Shut up! Seer or Warlock?”
JCW: “My first impulse would be the warlock. They are cool and have the abovementioned struggle covered, but a seer would be an interesting change. I’d love to be a seer and find out if you are holding Chekhov’s gun.”
Abductor: “What?”
JCW: “Pardon me! Ask JF Danskin. He can explain it to you.”
Abductor: “Dungeon or Banishment?”
JCW: “Well, this has some dungeon feel, but I go for banishment. It is a theme in several of my stories.”
Abductor: “Soul Sucking or Demon Torment?”
JCW: *mockingly* “Please, pick between pest and cholera. Let’s go for torment. It is kind of the spirit of the moment, right?!” *gulp*
Abductor: “Portal or Time Travel”
JCW: “Hello, question mark? Where did you go? … *gulp* … easy with the gun, my friend. Just a bit of gallows humour. … uh … Portal. Do you know how much can go wrong because of time travel? No, I guess you never watched Back to the Future or Star Trek.”
Abductor: “Undiscovered or Forgotten?”
JCW: “What was the question again?”
Abductor: “Undiscovered or Forgotten?”
JCW: “Got you.”
*Abductor gnarls*
Abductor: “Enchanted to Sleep or Cursed to Ride?”
JCW: “Ride! Ride like the Ghostrider!”
Abductor: “Diary or Grimoire?”
JCW: “Grimoire. I need to know a spell that opens the portal to get me out of this dystopia.”
*Abductor sighs*
Abductor: “Kraken or Mermaid?”
JCW: “I’m a TKL editor, so Kraken. Or maybe … what about a Krakmaid? *pauses* Nah, sounds like a crack maid. Whatever that is … let’s better stick with the Kraken.”
Abductor: “Haunted or Re-programmed?”
JCW: “Difficult. I feel pretty much haunted right now … but characters are re-programmed with magic in several of my stories.”
Abductor: “Historical or Future?”
JCW: “Difficult, but right now, I like to think of having a future.”
Abductor: “This World or Another Realm?”
JCW: “Although I wrote many stories based in this world, I write fiction to escape it… especially situations like this. I also love worldbuilding!”
*Sound of the gun’s safety being locked*
Abductor: “Thank you for participating in our survey, sir. How did you like the experience.”
JCW: “Terrifying or traumatic?”
Abductor: “Good idea. Which one?”
JCW: “[redacted]! I’m still not allowed to say ‘both’?”
End of recording.
Wells, who has been held hostage before (see Grandma Smillew’s special report), survived the incident unharmed. He forwarded the information that Selina Miyasia, J.C. Lovero, and Mojave Green are considered for the Aggressive Author Survey Inc’s (ASS-I) current research. The organisers behind BJ’s This or That — The Gathering Table’s current ToT challenge, Jacinta Palmer and Brett Jenae Tomlin, denied hiring ASS-I.
Breaking News:
Writing Challenge: Medium Writer Picks up Cursed Pencil
In Other News:
Princess Trapped in a Different Dungeon by home and dungeon improvement correspondent Bradan Writes Stories
Local Writer Must Deal with Dragons and Seers and Portals by survey correspondent Rayne Sanning
Thank you, Jacinta Palmer, for challenging me. You asked for breaking news, but nobody knows how they will turn out, not even I. :D
About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by Bradan Writes Stories
💯 Story Challenge — News Edition (85/100)
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