How To Use Jealousy to Your Advantage
Let it become a motivator to succeed.
When you watch newbies rise to the top faster than you at anything, it is annoying AF.
No, they’re not personally annoying. That’s only a reflection of my own envious feelings because I’ve not had an article go viral yet. Blah blah blah, please be quiet, dear Awareness, and let me sit down and gossip with my buddy Jealousy before I do something constructive about it.
It’s when you see that someone is new to a platform and they are making serious $$$ very quickly, I can’t help but turn green inside. I work so hard, man! Why are my articles not going even semi-viral? *stomps feet*
“Because you’re not that good, Sylvia!”
Jeez, that escalated quickly.
Anxiety, chill out for a second and go back into your cave – there’s no tiger here. Let Comfort talk for now.
I am good at writing, but it takes time to make a financially successful career out of it. *Jealousy nods* These new writers on Medium usually come from a writing background already, and if they don’t, well, I have no place for you in this article.
Jealousy, don’t be so spiteful, you have to be happy for everyone, it’s not a competition!
*Jealousy walks back into the darkness*
For example, the annoyingly awesome writer Christopher Kokoski (yes your name popped up first as I typed Chris after the @) literally appeared in my radar less than a month ago and suddenly he’s famous because of an article he wrote about… *gasps in shock*
I daren’t say what about because I’m too socially awkward and my parents read my articles but here it is because I know you’re now interested in it but COME BACK to finish reading this one!
Please??
Hello??? *Echoes through walls of Medium platform like an empty church.*
Anyway, this guy who came out of nowhere to take the views and fame I so seek did tremendously well. He did research and backed up his claims with science and confidence – both skills which need practice on my part.
But I shall conquer! *malicious laugh*
Seriously.
I am getting there. I have doubled my income almost every month, and my stats have only increased since I started writing. I wouldn't say I’ve not made progress, but sometimes I become highly demanding about how quickly I progress. Impatience gets in the way here but I am slowly learning to tame it.
I get a healthy dose of ̶j̶e̶a̶l̶o̶u̶s̶y̶ motivation when I see other writers coming up in the Medium Hall of Fame when they appear in my Reading List or I get emailed their articles.
I promise the jealousy stops lingering when I kindly remind myself that thinking happy thoughts about others’ success attracts success to me.
*Applies The Law of Attraction here*
#Blessed #GratitudeIsAMust
Anyway, I decided a couple of months ago that it was time to up my game!
And then this article got published in the awesome publication, Illumination, and mentioned in their Editor’s Choice: Top 10, in November.
I was number 1.
Self-Growth Showed Up
I was buzzing for weeks. The fire in me was lit and no one is going to put it out again! Confidence put on its harness and started abseiling up the extremely vertical mountain of Success.
I love to write about woo-woo. I dress up self-love because that’s what I recently came to know and became fascinated by.
But only a month or two ago, almost a year after I began my journey writing, did I start including actual research into my articles that got published into Mind Cafe, *dances like Carlton* (if you don’t know Carlton or the dance, you have lived a sheltered life).
I finally made it after trying regularly to get their attention for over 6 months.
This taught me how important referencing is to go into a lot of the stuff I claim to know about. How else is anyone going to listen to me without backed up evidence? Duh!
So, thank you, Adrian Drew for throwing me a bone and getting me into your awesome publication.
I have also made it out of the world of “curation prison” — is that what it’s called? I have been out of it for so long I forgot the correct term for failing miserably on Medium *flicks hair*.
(Was that too cocky?) Sorry! I’m still working with Confidence and sometimes Arrogance steps in and they look so much alike I get confused and pick the wrong one and the joke comes out wrong, which results in me making a fool out of myself.
I also believe that these kinds of jokes are unfairly but more widely accepted if they are told by men, namely my husband, Devonte Emokpae. He just seems to breathe jokes out so naturally and it is challenging to keep up with that. So much so that I wrote about it.
Anyway, I digress.
I get curated often now and I have also gained AND maintained Top Writer Status in #Parenting and #Energy — my main niches.
*High-fives self*
Baby Steps Are Giant Leaps in Retrospect
I have to remember that when I first started writing last year I was writing for myself and exploring my niches. I found I could get creative about what I’m passionate about but I didn’t go viral because I.was.not.that.good.
And that’s okay!
Maybe I am good but I haven’t hit the title right. Maybe my punchy lines aren’t punchy throughout the articles and people are drawn in at first but get bored and leave me (did you come back after checking out Christopher’s article? Am I talking to a brick wall?)
Maybe I haven’t written enough. Recently I read an email from Tim Denning that said:
In my Medium Bad-Assery class, we have a saying: First, write 100 articles. That’s not when the work ends. That’s when the work starts.
It takes time.
It takes time to get good at anything. Even if I think I am good today, hopefully, I will have learned so much that in 6 months' time I will look back and cringe at how bad I used to be. *Heeeey, Future Self! Are you proud of me?*
I’m around 80 articles in. And I’m exhausted 😴 but I know what my goals are and I will slap Jealousy and Worry in the face once again and write with so much Passion and Determination that eventually Medium’s algorithms will push my articles out so much that you’ll simply click on them out of sheer lack of other choices.
“Sure, Mommy…” *fart sound*
That was Andriel, my 2-year-old son, mocking me by bringing me back to reality to remind me that above all else, his diaper changes matter more right now, and I, as his mother, need to go take care of that.
The writing shall continue, at my son’s own pace.
Let me go sort him out, I’ll leave you with these two favorites about motherhood, published in Modern Parent (woohoo!!), from this month.
Takeaway
Back!
If there is any value to be taken from this article, it is the knowledge that we are all in the same boat.
We are all trying to make it in some way while we live our busy lives. You may be a full-time parent like me and trying to factor in some time to do something for yourself. You may be working your ass off at some big company. Maybe, you’re fresh out of college and you’re wondering what on earth to do with yourself. And that’s all OK.
It is our feelings that will determine whether or not we do. I take all of my emotions and throw them at the computer screen in the hope that I am articulating myself well enough so that others will be able to relate and maybe even learn something new.
I use every single emotion that I feel to my advantage — that's how I win. Daily.
You can, too.
Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, motherhood, and pro-race. See more work like this.
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