Medical Humor
The Journey of a Doctor Funny Intern
I have no medicine, but I heard this joke in the pub you might like…
Ever since I was a young boy my mother would always say two things to me:
- “You should be a Doctor specialising in funny stuff.”
- “Where the f*ck is my wine?”
As a child I stole a lot of her wine.
But this got me thinking…
Maybe a career in the medical comedy industry could be for me?
I decided I needed to get into a good publication in order to get the most out of my career.
I had a look online and found the following:
- Nurse Comedy
- Male Nurse Comedy
- Physiotherapist Humor
- Paramedic Laughter
- Matron Joking
None of these really interested me.
I got thrown out of the last two for being too drunk and directing racial slurs at a frog I was dissecting.
I was suddenly out on the street! Surviving on nothing but bamboo and grass (I accidentally ended up in a zoo).
But one day I was saved!
There I was, wearing nothing but a pair of wellies and a grass skirt cuddling my new friend “Brian the Panda”.
I was at rock bottom. Apart from that time they ran out of ice cream at Pizza Hut.
One day however, a strange figure approached:
“Would you like me to play the bongos to you?”
I awoke from my slumber to the beautiful sounds of hands slapping bongos.
I was in awe! I asked the strange woman with a moustache to teach me the magic of the bongos.
“If you write comedy articles for my online publication, only then, will you be able to master the power of the dark side of the bongos.”
This was none other than Kristine Laco.
My journey as an intern had begun at Doctor Funny.
The origins of an intern
On my first day I was approached by a man wearing a Winnie the Pooh T-Shirt and sporting a massive afro.
It was only Christopher Robin
After he punched me for asking if that was his real name, Dr. Robin suggested I tried some stand up comedy in front of a tough crowd.
We went to a Department called
“People with No Sense of Humor”
I was nervous but I felt ready!
I opened with a few one liners:
- Who’s the nicest person in the hospital? — The Ultrasound Guy
- Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? — Te-quil-a
- What do you call a careful wolf? — Aware wolf
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? — Follow the fresh prints.
Absolutely nothing. They hated me.
I was dying on stage.
Christopher was shaking his head and his afro.
Kristine was throwing her bongos out the window screaming that I’d failed her.
I was distraught, but determined to come back stronger!
Revenge of the intern
The Doctor Funny comedy festival is the most prestigious and fictitious festival out there. I knew my only chance to win and become a full time intern was to change my act.
The winner for the last five years was Jennifer McDougall with her talking sock puppets act. I had no chance of beating that!
As I was pulling up my grass skirt and booking a one way ticket back to the zoo in my Doctor Funny halls, I noticed something funny about my Cher poster.
The poster caught fire, and then spontaneously combusted to show a ghost.
“Hello, I am the ghost of Doctor Funny Intern past, I was known by another name back in the 1890s… Ginger Cook!!!!!
I was astonished! I also peed in my pants because I’d never seen a ghost before.
Cook was a former intern who never made the cut. She dropped out of Doctor Funny School and ended up participating in illegal dance off battles on the streets of Paraguay.
She unfortunately died after doing the macarena too vigorously and became a ghost.
Ginger agreed to train me to become the best intern ever.
Here’s a montage of our training so you can see for yourselves the blood, sweat, and tears it takes to become a master of the funny:
Doctor’s delight
“Next up we have…Adam ‘Penelope’ Robinson!!!!
I was shaking in my boots.
Jennifer had absolutely nailed it with her sock puppet performance of Die Hard, and David Perlmutter had wowed the crowd with his audience participation of highlighting everyone.
I got up on stage and took a deep breath.
Long story short — I performed an erotic dance whilst telling knock knock jokes as the Ginger Cook ghost played “Greensleeves” on the recorder.
People lost their minds!
- Women were throwing their bras on stage.
- An elderly lady gave me her replacement hip.
- Dr. Kristine Laco donated her bongos to my Doctor Funny fund.
- Dr. Christopher Robin was so moved that he was moved to tears. He then adopted me as his own child.
- Dr. Jennifer McDougall made congratulatory sock puppets for me.
- David Perlmutter highlighted me with his special red marker and whispered in my ear “You’re ready”.
- Ginger Cook gave me a friendly punch on the arm and simply said “I’m the proudest recorder playing ghost ever. I’ve not been this happy since Paraguay”.
What a way to become a Doctor of all that is funny.
Funny feels
There we have it, my lovely journey of my Doctor Funny internship.
There have been laughs (not from my articles), tears, and confused editors. It’s been a riot.
I’d like to thank all the people I’ve offended in this article. I couldn’t have done it without you.
My message to any struggling interns out there, is simply this:
“Try to be funny, and if you fail, dance illegally on the streets of Paraguay”.
Good luck, and happy interning!
Inspired by the brilliant bongo-ist that is Kristine Laco.
If you enjoyed that monstrosity, you’ll love this questionable content:
