Gingerbread humor
3 Ways To Enjoy Gingerbread Appreciation Day
Get a bit of ginger in your life!

Gingerbread is so lovely — I wish I was made out of it so people could consume me all day.
I was recently tagged in an article about gingerbread, where the author tried to insert herself into my nether regions headfirst. She shall remain nameless *AHEM* *AHEM* Ginger Cook *AHEM*.
This inspired me to write about the joys of gingerbread and be warier about who I let follow me on Medium.
Do you like gingerbread, but don’t really know how to enjoy it to the max?
Would you like to have online writers wishing to enter you in a festive fashion?
Look no further, my perverted pals…I shall reveal all my secrets on how to get some gingerHEAD in your life!
Let’s look at the best 3 things you can do with gingerbread without being arrested.
1. Cover Yourself

If you want to enjoy gingerbread-you have to BECOME gingerbread.
Immerse yourself in the beautifully golden crispiness of gingerbread.
Tell your family and friends that you’re that gingerbread man from Shrek. Watch as their faces fill with joy and happiness.
This is how the conversation went with my mother when I covered myself in gingerbread and told her I wanted to be a gingerbread man:
Coming out Ginger
Me: Hello mother.
Mother: Hello Adam, why are you covered in gingerbread shiz?
Me: I want to be a gingerbread man, mother. I’ve always wanted to do this. I think I’ve always known.
Mother: No Adam! It’s too dangerous!!! Your father was a gingerbread man and look what happened to him!!
Adam: He perished in that hot dog eating contest accident — I know the story mother!! But this is my life!!
Mother: I won’t watch another family member be lost to the dark arts of gingerbread!! Not again!!
Mother angrily drop-kicks Adam and he decides to pursue a less painful passion — painting figurines from Lord of the Rings.
If you were affected by any of the issues raised in this gingerbread story, contact the gingerbread support hotline on:
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2. The Poem of Gingerbread

Gingerbread makes me feel a certain kind of way.
It’s like before gingerbread everything was black and white, and now…it’s gingerbread.
When I taste the oozing sexuality of gingerbread in my mouth — all I want to do is write a poem.
So that is exactly what I’ve done.
This is gonna be the most gingerbread poem since…since…well the last time someone wrote a gingerbread poem I guess.
The Groovy Gingerbread Poem
Gingerbread is so lovely It makes me feel so great I really love to lick it I don’t even use a plate
People say I have a problem Like with the glue I used to sniff Let me snort gingerbread, please Or even just a whiff
It makes me feel so young Like Bruce Willis with hair I want to use my gingerbread As a lovely wig to wear
This is the end of the poem What a ride it’s been I f*cking love gingerbread Like a 50 Shades of Grey sex scene
THE END
I hope you all enjoyed my poem — it will be available in all good bakery establishments by Friday.
3. Make A Gingery Friend

So, by now you guys are probably thinking that gingerbread is pretty cool — which it is.
But…why stop there?!
I’m here to tell you there’s something even better out there than gingerbread…a gingery friend!!!
My life changed on Medium when a certain writer responded to me with the kindest of messages:
“Stop commenting weird stuff on my articles you creep!”
Ever since that beautiful day, we have bonded like Mexicans and walls that are built to keep them out of other countries.
These are the people who make gingerbread appreciation day what it is — a celebration of all things ginger.
Thank you for being called Ginger Cook and writing an article about gingerbread. This is what Medium wants…no…this is what Medium needs!
If you want to enjoy gingerbread appreciation day, you need a gingery friend!
I shall leave you guys with the ginger genius of an article which is a must-read!!!
Also, here’s a Youtube video of a young Ginger Cook embarking on her musical career:







