The F*** Yeah! Approach To Your Transition

Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to become someone you wouldn’t feel excited to meet?

F*** Yeah! (exclamation, informal): the subtle-but-persistent enthusiasm for the process of transition

Note: this article is a playful (yet insightful!) homage to the original article F*** Yes by Mark Manson

Question #1: How much of your transition is about making others see you the way you wish you saw yourself?

It’s not an easy question, but if you’re not happy with who you are becoming, what makes you think you’ll be happy with who you turn into ten years from now?

I don’t mean the things beyond your control. As a kid, my parents stopped me from getting proper medical treatment. I was in my thirties before I could get help. It sucked.

I mean the things that are within your control, whatever terms are available to you.

When you get a chance to choose who you are and who you’ll be — do you first look for your reflection in someone else’s eyes?

What does that say about your relationship with yourself? That you believe you need to convince others to see you before you’ll see yourself?

When will you stop to ask whether you like who you’re starting to become?

Here’s another question.

Question #2: Why would you ever choose to become someone you wouldn’t feel excited to meet?

In reality, we have to contend with all kinds of threats to our lives and safety. For trans people, a lot of our dysphoria has nothing to do with feeling there’s anything wrong with us or our bodies. It’s that we don’t feel safe.

Then there’s a grey area on the trans spectrum. It’s the one that comes in those moments where you’re not stuck begging for safety and security.

It’s the one that comes even in dangerous times, but especially when you get a moment of quiet, take an honest look at who you are, and then utilize that clarity to decide who you will become.

The thing about self-empowerment is that it can be as, well, empowering as it can be paralyzing. Suddenly there are so many options!

If only there was a way to know what to do.

Question 3: Have you heard of the Law of F*** Yeah?

Access to gender-affirming care is slowly improving for people with transgender backgrounds. It’s never been more important to assess the options to make ourselves whole and pick the ones that fit the Law of F*** Yeah!

The Law of F*** Yeah! states that when cultivating your authentic self, you want to choose paths that inspire you to say “F*** Yeah!”

The Law of F*** Yeah doesn’t necessarily mean you feel intense euphoria every time you step outside or look in the mirror. It doesn’t mean you love your entire wardrobe. It doesn’t mean you inject hormones every day and love every consequence from doing so.

Those experiences might suck. You might decide to never do some of them again.

It just means you’re F*** Yeah! about the process. The outcome was never really within your control, anyway. Even cisgender women need gender-affirming care. You’re no less a woman for not being born with a road map for who you’re supposed to be.

Question 4: Can you apply the Law of F*** Yeah to everyday situations??

F*** yeah you can.

You can be F*** Yeah! about exploring a new part of your transition, gender, and overall identity.

You can be F*** Yeah! about exploring makeup or facial hair without knowing whether it’s right for you.

You can be F*** Yeah! about seeking medical treatment despite understanding the likely hurdles you’ll face.

You can be F*** Yeah! about a potentially painful separation with a spouse, because anything after this will be the most authentic period of your life.

You can be F*** Yeah! about staying with a spouse for surprising reasons, too.

Could you truly regret a transition that made you scream F*** Yeah!?

Question 5: So what goes wrong?

The first problem is people who never feel a F*** Yeah! for any part of their transition. I believe those dear ones only need appropriate resources and support for their enthusiasm and vulnerability to return.

The second problem (I’m officially in this camp) is people who become so analytical about their transition that we spend more time analyzing our transition than actually, you know, transitioning.

The few steps we take are halfhearted. We feel more dysphoria and frustration than self-sustained momentum.

The problem isn’t the grey area itself. It’s how often we get stuck in it through our own hesitation to embrace what makes us scream F*** YEAH!

Then we take angry steps. We feel responsible. We cause so much damage in our enraged momentum that we have to stop. We hope one day we can start over.

We promise that if we could only start over, we would choose to become a person that lasts.

Question 6: What would you give for that second chance?

Today is that second chance.

You will claim your transition today by assessing your options and which ones make you scream F*** YEAH!

The only thing you need next is your Transition Toolkit.