Sensual Vs. Sexual
Do you know the difference?
When we talk about sex, we often bring up the idea of sensuality. But do people really know what it means — and that there’s actually a difference between being sensual and being sexual?
Not necessarily, according to Dr. Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist and K-Y’s sex therapist, who says we generally confuse the two because of messages we get from the media that use these terms interchangeably, or describe sensuality as a light version of sexuality. To get some clarity on this, I interviewed Chavez about the differences between sensuality and sexuality — and why both are an important part of our sex lives.
“The main difference is that sensual can be a form of pleasure without being connected to a sexual turn-on or erotic state.”
How would you define sexual and sensual? What would you say are the differences between the two?
Sexual refers to what we do sexually including our behavior, thoughts, and feelings regarding sex. It involves our erotic nature and expression of sexuality — nudity, stimulation of the genitals, and sexual responsiveness including excitement, arousal, and orgasm. Sensual refers to engaging the senses — sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch as a way to experience pleasure and take in information from our environment.
The main difference is that sensual can be a form of pleasure without being connected to a sexual turn-on or erotic state. Sensual has no goals, where sexual often refers to the stages of sexual responsiveness, which can feel more biological and goal-oriented — that is, genital response to stimulation, orgasm, and release. However, both are ways to seek pleasure and experience arousal. Sexual arousal is a response to sexual stimuli, whereas sensual arousal is engaging the senses and evoking different emotional states using our senses.
“I encourage people to find their sexual desires and interests through sensual exploration.”
Do we need both sexuality and sensuality in our relationships?
It is essential for every relationship to have both. I encourage people to find their sexual desires and interests through sensual exploration. There is a lot of shame around sexuality; therefore, sensuality tends to be an easier way to explore pleasure without the stigma and shame associated with sexual norms and beliefs.
If someone is not a sensual person, what would you recommend to help them become more sensual?
Start with touch. It’s a form of nonverbal communication. We pick up information from our environment through touch. Engage the senses during normal activities, such as eating, grooming, and self-care. Use these activities to find pleasure and take your time and be mindful.
More from Kiki Wellington:
