HUMOR
The 8 Traits of Highly Successful Listicles
#3 Never start with number 1
Let’s be honest. Once you saw that headline, you didn’t stand a chance.
You felt compelled to read this listicle. No amount of will power could have prevented it. It was…inevitable.
A lot of writers are kind of snobby when it comes to listicles…but listicles are undisputedly evergreen.
Some can outlive entire civilisations.
Don’t believe me?
Ever heard of “The 10 Commandments”?
If that was monetized, it would have been earning passive income for over 2000 years. Who knows how many billions of views it’s had already?!
Listicles have the ability to go viral and stay relevant over long periods of time. That’s a proven fact (as opposed to unproven facts which thrown around in politics).
Now that I’ve hooked you with an acceptable intro, let’s not waste any more time.
The Best Listicles Don’t List Points With Numbers
The rationale? Since you love numbers so much, it’s safe to assume you will double check the number of points in this article. Why take the fun away from you?
You won’t rest until you know I haven’t conned you out of a single point. After all, that was part of the unspoken agreement when you decided to read the article in the first place, right?
Instead of 8 traits, I’ve actually included 9 just to mess with you.
See what I did there? Now, you understand why the best listicles aren’t numbered.
Each Point Rarely Ties In With The Last
There shouldn’t be too much blending of ideas between each point.
Why?
It gives the reader the greatest chance to enjoy at least some part of the article.
And novelty, everyone loves a bit of novelty.
Each Point Could Be Its Own Post
Sometimes, that’s exactly what it is.
Writers will abuse the listicle format as an opportunity to shamelessly plug previously completed work.
It’s the compilation video of articles. Well, I guess you could just call it a compilation.
Oh, by the way, did you know that sometimes just showing up is enough to succeed?
Teasing With A Middle Number Creates Curiosity
It’s all about mystery and intrigue.
You should never reveal the first or last point of your listicle in the subtitle.
The potential reader is going to think about their favourite type of lists.
Is it going to be an ascending or descending ranked list? Are points going to be equally weighted or will some be slightly more important? Or, will it be another huge disappointment where points are listed in no particular order?
I think we already know the answer to that. It’s rarely ever in order of importance.
Why?
Because you would just skip to the end. You know it’s true.
Also, if you tease with #1 and it’s terrible, readers will think “why should I bother reading this listicle if the number one point is awful?”. If #1 is great, “why would I bother reading anything else if it’s just downhill from here?”.
If you start with the last number, readers will think, “if that was worth listing, this must be a pretty garbage list”.
So that’s why we tease with the middle. Extra brownie points if you can reference one point with another.
Insert A Random Picture
This makes the article much more scannable and easier on the eyes.
Who wants to read through large chunks of plain regular text when they could be staring at a picture of an armchair by the sea?
If a picture is worth a thousand words and doesn’t add to the word count, isn’t that the most effective form of communication?
Now, you can even take credit for clever metaphors you didn’t intend.
It’s brilliant.
Some Points Need To Be Obvious
The keyword being some and not all. At least one.
You want to add value to your readers but you don’t want to alienate them completely. They have decided to read your article with some preconceived notions. They expect some of their ideas to make it onto your elusive and pretentious list.
Give them the satisfaction of saying, “oh, I knew that one”.
Your audience deserves a bit of credit, not the “Top 10 Most Unusual” ideas from some know-it-all jerk who thinks they know it all…
Also, if you can insert a random quote somewhere, you give the reader something easy to highlight — Kevin Lee (Writer/Know-it-all jerk)
Leave Readers With A Clear Takeaway that Neatly Wraps Everything Up
A great listicle will leave the reader satisfied.
At the minimum, the reader should be able to gain one piece of information that they can take away and think about.
Listicles are supposed to be clear, well organised and to the point.
Maybe I should have listed this as the last point.
Actually, who cares? It’s in no particular order anyway.
Title Your Listicle With “The” (If Appropriate)
When you state that this is “The 8 Traits of Highly Successful Listicles”, it implies a comprehensive, well researched and complete list.
At the very least, it implies there are 8 important points.
“8 Traits of Highly Successful Listicles” on the other hand, could be a random mish-mash of points that are true but don’t explain anything significant.
For example, all listicles contain words. “Yes, thank you for that insightful observation Kevin Lee. Now go away, delete your account and never write again.”
Lastly, The Best Listicles Are Usually Written By Others
I know, nothing like a bit of encouragement to end.
The best listicles are rarely written by you or me.
They are usually written by talented writers who know what they are talking about. And even if they don’t, they certainly sound like they do.
They are either experts, have access to experts or have expert syndrome.
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