The 10 kickers I can’t fit in one kicker

The 10 Things I Want to Write 10 Things About

The 10 subtitles I wrote and you won’t read

Lists of 10 things publish like hotcakes right now. Not sure anybody reads them, but who cares?

It doesn’t matter.

I’m not writing to be read, but to become famous. And there’s no better way than to write an awesome listicle like the one you’re about to discover.

Since I’m very meta¹⁰, it’s a list of lists of 10 things I want to write about.

#1 Other writers on this platform or elsewhere

1. The 10 writers who should stop writing listicles. Like, yesterday.
2. The 10 writers who should stop trying to sell courses. Not sure 10 is enough.
3. The 10 writers I love. Might be hard to write that one.
4. The 10 writers I hate. Better not.
5. The 10 writers I wish I could meet. Only online.
6. The 10 writers I wish I could have sex with. This is borderline. In a sapiosexual way. Better.
7. The 10 writers I want to edit. Badly.
8. The 10 (ghost)writers that haunt me. Every Christmas.
9. The 10 writers who didn’t follow me back. Is it a nice thing to do?!
10. The 10 writers who liked this article. It could be you.

#2 SEX

It goes without writing.

#3 My partner

Because they’re so kind, sweet, funny, loving, caring, supporting, intelligent, witty, creative, and, simply put, amazing.

It has nothing to do with the fact they’re subscribed to my newsletter.

#4 Listicles

1. The 10 listicles you didn’t read. Yet.
2. The 10 listicles everybody should stop writing. NOW.
3. The 10 listicles you should read 10 times.
4. The 10 listicles that will waste your time. Plot twist, they’re the same ones.
5. The 10 listicles your partner wants you to read.
6. The 10 listicles nobody will ever write. But they should.
7. The 10 listicles my partner wrote this year. Plot twist, it’s all about groceries.
8. The 10 listicles that are too long to read. This one is NOT an example.
9. The 10 listicles that are so funny, I read them again. This one is a GOOD example.
10. The 10 listicles you would like me to write. And off we go to the comment section.

#5 The MuddyUm Editors

Not because they’re all clever, bright, brilliant, sharp, smart, canny, alert, quick-witted, acute, and astute. That’s obvious.

But because they’re all amusing, humorous, comical, droll, chucklesome, hilarious, hysterical, riotous, uproarious, witty, and waggish.

Yes, I used a thesaurus. No, I didn’t write this only because I’m publishing the article in the pub. Yes, I know how to count, but waggish is too beautiful a word to be left out, same with chucklesome.

#6 SEX

It bears repeating.

#7 Boomers, Millennials, and other generations

1. The 10 things Boomers should know about life.
2. The 10 things Boomers are guilty of.
3. The 10 things we all want Boomers to stop doing. Even Boomers.
4. The 10 things Boomers could do to improve their communication skills.
5. The 10 things Boomers would like to change about the others. Not themselves.
6. The 10 things Boomers don’t understand.
7. The 10 things Boomers think their children don’t understand.
8. The 10 things Boomers think their parents don’t understand.
9. The 10 things Boomers think other Boomers don’t understand. But not them.
10. The 10 things that show you’re more Boomer than a Boomer. Even if you’re not one.

Fun fact, you could replace Boomers with any other generation that ever lived on the planet, and anything you wrote in the listicle would still hold.

Ok, Boomers?

#8 Keanu Reeves

It’s silly, as much as life can be, but there’s a competition going on between me and other writers (Reuben Salsa and Rocky Shores) as to who will be the topest top writers in Keanu.

Reuben saw Keanu’s penis once, and it’s a bit of an unfair advantage, to be honest.

But he’s just an SEO master, and I’m a creative. So I wrote a story using 51 titles from Keanu Reeves movies.

And it’s wicked. Johnny Wicked.

#9 Books

(skip this one, it’s not funny, I just like books)

1. The 10 books I will never read.
2. The 10 books everybody else should read.
3. The 10 books everybody else thinks I should read.
4. The 10 books I read to my grandmother.
5. The 10 books my grandmother read to me.
6. The 10 books I would like to read again before I die.
7. The 10 books I would like to write.
8. The 10 books I received for my 21st birthday.
9. The 10 books I would never burn, even if I were freezing.
10. The 10 books my son made me read 100 times.

#10 SEX

You know how they say, all mouth and no trousers? Well, it’s exactly the contrary if you write about sex instead of talk about sex. Just saying. Sorry, writing.

The 10 takeaways I want you to remember

Am I going to repeat everything I wrote so far, but in a different manner?

YES!

Nothing to do with the fact I’m paid based on reading time.

Without much further ado, the 10 takeaways you’ve all waited for so long.

1. Elsewhere or platform this on writers other.
2. XES
3. Partner My.
4. Selcitsil
5. Editors MuddyUm the.
6. XES
7. Generations other and, Millennials, Boomers.
8. Keanu Reeves. Name his with play don’t you.
9. Skoob
10. XES

That’s right. I just did this. This did just I.

Time to say goodbye, 10 times, of course!

Thanks for reading, Folks!

¹⁰ I’m not as meta as Roz Warren, though. Check her writings if you want your mind metablown. I’m tagging her here to say a metahello! And to ask her to participate in the Smillew Writers Challenge (SWC).

You can participate too! There’s nothing to win! It’s so exciting! Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I plan on repeating every year.

Also, I won the MWC, so there’s not much you can do but participate in the SWC now.

Should I add a bio here? Maybe not. It’s been a long read already. Am I right? Also I’ve 10 different bios and I don’t know which one to choose.